Since I have become April I have noticed that people seem to seek me out a lot more. As a male, I used to go to a bar and order a beer and burger, and nobody (and I mean absolutely nobody) besides the bartender would ever talk to me. But as April everybody seems to talk to me. I go to this one club in downtown Scottsdale and order a glass of Merlot. I then just wait for the people to come, and they most certainly come. This is an alternative lifestyle friendly club, but it draws a considerable straight crowd on the weekends from people bar slumming in the neighborhood.
Last night an absolutely beautiful woman approached me. She was exactly the same height as me. I was for a second thinking that she was another TGirl, but she quickly indicated that she was both CIS and straight. She asked, "What is your story". That happens to be a common opening line with strangers approaching me. So I told her, and I started crying as I often do in that situation. She cried as well. I have learned that once you share your vulnerability with another woman, you have made a friend. She said to me that she gets so few opportunities to dance with somebody the same height as her, and was wondering if I would. I gladly said "yes". While we were dancing, I asked her what made her approach me. She said it was my smile: "You just glow; and I had to know why". I am thinking that is the real reason that people now seem to approach me so easily; I just simply seem a lot more approachable. Anyway, it was a beautiful moment in an otherwise rather dismal week. She had to leave with her boyfriend, and others then came around to talk.
They were all special in their own way, but it was the very young gay man at the end of the night that sticks in my mind. He told me that he been confused about his sexuality, but he had finally figured it all out. I told him I understood very well about all that. He told me that he thought I was so courageous, and he then tried to put me on a pedestal I didn't think I deserved. So I brought the subject back to him. He suggested how insecure he was about his appearance. I looked at this absolutely beautiful young man, and I was stunned. He looked rather young and slightly feminine, but in a really good way. He looked like he hadn't yet been wounded by life. At that moment I became his much older sister, although I am probably older than his mom. I told him that his day would come, and to just believe in himself. That seemed to make him feel a little better. He then spotted a guy across the room he wanted to get to know. He said he would circle back at the end of the night, and wondered if I would dance with him. I said "of course". I lost track of him and eventually had to go. This morning I noticed he had left a text on my phone (I had given my cell number to him). He said he had looked for me. Apparently we had just missed each other. I explained to him that I had to leave, and apologized.
I then said to him "Don't sell your looks short. There will be plenty of men in your life, and you will also break the hearts of many young girls who can't have you. Just love yourself". And in a second text, I told him that I still wanted that dance. He thanked me and said I had made him smile, and of course we will have that dance. I hope he won't be too embarrassed dancing with his much older adopted sister
A couple years ago, I couldn't have imagined the events of last night. And I would have never guessed I could find so much beauty in the stupidest little things. But I am somewhere over the rainbow now, and I absolutely love it there.
A lot of people have told me about that glow as well. The only thing I can figure out on it is we are totally secure in who we are. That is a luxury that most of the population does not have. When you are secure in yourself and know who you are it radiates a HUGE amount of confidence. Sounds like you had a great time and I am so happy for you! :)
It sounds like you have a great local club to visit. Enjoy GF & have fun.
The glow comes from hormone effects on your skin I think, as much as the 'peace' that comes from having the right hormone.
LordKat, I don't know if I would agree that the hormones are the main source of the "glow", at least not directly. I have no doubt that they have changed my skin, and maybe feminized my face a little. But as far as this glow thing goes, I tend to agree with Jessica, it is more about confidence. In male mode, which I still use for work, I think I look pretty glum most of the time. And although I believe I look considerably younger than my age in female mode, I actually think I look older than my age in male mode. There is a moment that always seems to happen when I dress. I put on the makeup and the clothes and I can see this person emerging, but not completely. It is usually when I put on the wig, although sometimes it can happen a little afterwards. Something magical occurs. I will look in the mirror and see exactly the person I feel inside, and my appearance is transformed in an instant. I see this light radiating from me that I never knew existed. Everything becomes right then, and I sometimes cry.
I don't know about main source, nor did I say it was. I do think it plays a large part though. They say that pregnant women get this glow, also from hormones, so why not anyone else?
Since i started the girl juice, i find myself being more approachable as well. I think it may be a combination of my calming down some. The fact that im not always deep in thought, which showed on my face, and the fact that im smiling and laughing quite a bit more often. All of this is in male mode (mainly due to a lack of funds for face bush removal). So i think its mostly others perception of whether youre a happy person.
Quote from: becoming gianna on October 26, 2014, 06:22:26 PM
Since i started the girl juice, i find myself being more approachable as well. I think it may be a combination of my calming down some. The fact that im not always deep in thought, which showed on my face, and the fact that im smiling and laughing quite a bit more often. All of this is in male mode (mainly due to a lack of funds for face bush removal). So i think its mostly others perception of whether youre a happy person.
I was talking about this with a family member who also happens to be a therapist. She says that this is all about living in the here and now. When you are doing that, it shows, and people feel you are here as well, rather than somewhere else.
The movie doesn't show the part where they have a 3 day party because they FINALLY got out of Kansas.
Or the supreme disappointment when dorothy goes back to it.
Ladies, we are definitely NOT going back to Kansas.
Yes, April Lee, it's a wonderful sensation to have people seeking you out. I can fully concur. As a guy I was totally forgettable - wrong size, shape etc. - as a girl it's wonderful. Women are more sisterly, and men smile and chat like I never experienced before.
If you look the part, it's great. If you feel the part, it's even better. So, you're clearly in the groove. Enjoy it!!!
Hugs
Julia