Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transgender talk => Topic started by: Sandy74 on October 26, 2014, 01:56:47 PM

Title: I Feel Strange!
Post by: Sandy74 on October 26, 2014, 01:56:47 PM
I feel really strange posting my picture when it def is me and as a male and its not of me in dress or what not and I feel like with my own feelings that perhaps people think I am just a guy posing and that I am not really transgender. I think its all in my head in what I think people may think about me or view me. I am the infant stanges of realizing that I want to be transgender and I want to change my life and I know that most of you here you have known for a long time and have been dressing and making the changes to being female.

I mean I have always known that I wanted to a female since I was like 13 years old and perhaps before that and I just have supressed the feelings because for some reason I thought it was wrong to feel that way. It has surfaced here and there over the years but not as serious as it has in the last 6 months and it hit me like a ton of bricks and I am like this is who I really am supposed to be.

I guess I wanted to post my picture because I didn't want to not have a face with who was posting here. The last 6 months of just being honest with myself has been really hard and being able to express myself and share who I am has been such a life changing situation for me. I have no clue why I didn't come to forums like this long time ago but I am happy to be here now. I am forty years old and really wish that i discovered and came to the conclusion a long time ago but its never too late to figure out who you really are.

Hopefully one of these days I will get a wig and breast forms and bras and take my first steps in public as a female and when I get near that point I will def change my picture and post my female picture, so looking forward to that day.
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: Ms Grace on October 26, 2014, 02:35:07 PM
Hi Sandy, nothing to feel strange about. One thing to keep in mind though is that if you aren't out as trans to people in your life then please be aware your pic is potentially viewable to them. It's always nice to see the faces of our members but we also want them to be safe. I chose to use my own pic for the same reasons as you, I wanted to put a face to my transition and own who I was becoming, but then my female presentation looks quite different from my male presentation (to the extent that people who knew dude me didn't recognise me as Grace, and vice versa). Good luck with your journey. Are you seeing a counsellor?
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: Rachel on October 26, 2014, 03:45:26 PM
Hi Sandy,

I do not think you should feel strange; in fact, I think you have a lot of courage. I have been coming here 2 years and still have not worked up the courage to post a pic. Then again I am in the process of coming out so who knows in the future.

Like Grace said, the pic is in the public. Also, a gender therapist is a real asset in transition.
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: ImagineKate on October 26, 2014, 05:04:10 PM
I'm hesitant to post my face because I think I got hit way too much of the ugly stick.

But here is my current (male) presentation. I will remember to take the same pic when I present female.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1368.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fag176%2Fkimberlykatej%2FD93DB2B3-EF21-4322-9FB7-DD14982FBE9A_zpsgpuxjv9c.jpg&hash=42591e4193ad7c956aaf36dde1864ee42c11c821) (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/kimberlykatej/media/D93DB2B3-EF21-4322-9FB7-DD14982FBE9A_zpsgpuxjv9c.jpg.html)
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: captains on October 26, 2014, 05:13:37 PM
Kate, I think you're quite pretty, actually! I can see a lot of femininity around your cheeks and your lips. I'm certain that as thinks progress, you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised.

Sandy, I sympathize. I'm newish myself, and I'm often torn between wanting to post pics to establish myself as a real person and as a member of the community, and feeling a little embarrassed by how obviously new to all this I am, physically. Good to have you here, nonetheless!
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: peky on October 26, 2014, 05:30:01 PM
Sandy and Kate,

I applied your courage... happy transition journey

Peky
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: ImagineKate on October 26, 2014, 05:46:18 PM
Thanks captains. It was at work so I can't come out there yet (except to HR, which I have). My #1 goal for physical transition right now is to get rid of that nasty beard shadow, for which I plan to nuke it (electrolysis/laser) and use chemical warfare (vaniqa). When I see some progress on that front I will go full steam with HRT. That's what was suggested by my therapist and it makes sense to me.
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: captains on October 26, 2014, 05:52:43 PM
Are you south asian/Indian by any chance? If so, you are definitely not the only girl in your family going through crazy electrolysis and hair bleaching/removal. I'm middle eastern, and half my female bodied cousins have the same shadow! It's just a fact of life. I was even offered electrolysis as a 16th birthday present (which, thankfully, I did not go through with).  :D
Title: I Feel Strange!
Post by: ImagineKate on October 26, 2014, 05:54:48 PM
Also that was my FB profile picture and one of my friends asked if I was still a man. I loled at that one knowing he was half right!

Anyway this is what I need to do:

Facial hair removal
HRT
Learn makeup
Grow out hair (I hate wearing wigs)

With those four things I should be passable. FFS may be considered but I want to do my voice before I consider FFS.

I am very much the starting point of a work in progress and I'm fine with that for now.
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: ImagineKate on October 26, 2014, 06:02:03 PM

Quote from: captains on October 26, 2014, 05:52:43 PM
Are you south asian/Indian by any chance? If so, you are definitely not the only girl in your family going through crazy electrolysis and hair bleaching/removal. I'm middle eastern, and half my female bodied cousins have the same shadow! It's just a fact of life. I was even offered electrolysis as a 16th birthday present (which, thankfully, I did not go through with).  :D

Yes I'm of East Indian descent.
Title: Re: I Feel Strange!
Post by: ImagineKate on October 26, 2014, 06:13:35 PM
Camera angle and things like glasses alter your look a lot I found. I need new glasses but I was considering laser surgery as I'm doing a whole transition of myself anyway.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1368.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fag176%2Fkimberlykatej%2F5A6F66A2-C1DE-488C-BEE7-9D3DC14B87E8_zpsryeakgk9.jpg&hash=c0208283aa40d148f32f3af0b034f8c040c69a75) (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/kimberlykatej/media/5A6F66A2-C1DE-488C-BEE7-9D3DC14B87E8_zpsryeakgk9.jpg.html)

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1368.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fag176%2Fkimberlykatej%2F7D77B718-72A4-4DC3-B40A-19A4D32D2F41_zpszslamqr5.jpg&hash=b1d735dbc84cfc9ce3f83985796918a1a53b2933) (http://s1368.photobucket.com/user/kimberlykatej/media/7D77B718-72A4-4DC3-B40A-19A4D32D2F41_zpszslamqr5.jpg.html)