What was your reaction when you first realizes, saw, or felt your breast buds present?? Did you freak out? Where you happy? Worried? How big were they? Did you consider stopping hormones?
Quotedid you freak out?
A little, it kinda struck me by surprise, i mean, I'm actually growing boobs!!!!! :D
Quotewhere you happy/Worried?
I was ecstatic right up until the point where I first bumped them...then not so much, it hurts a lot
Quotehow big were they?
About the size of an Australian 20 cent piece...so however big that is :D
Now they are much, much bigger and I love them very, very much :)
I wasn't really freaked out, but I definitely was surprised, amazed and happy :icon_chick: I remember thinking "Damn Dang, this ->-bleeped-<- stuff really works!!!"
Quote from: Jo-is-amazing on October 27, 2014, 01:06:15 AM
I was ecstatic right up until the point where I first bumped them...then not so much
This sums it up for me as well! ;)
Pretty much the same as the above too. Not surprised, but more of a realization that things were getting serious (in an exciting way). It caused me to take a step back and re-reevaluate whether I was still on the right path, because it's one thing to become comfortable with being trans in your head, but a whole nother thing to start to make actual changes to your body.
That took about ten seconds. Then I just prodded them non-stop for a few weeks when people weren't looking to make sure they still hurt when I touched them and I wasn't just dreaming.
"Awesome!!!"
Until the first time you bump into something with them.
Quote from: V M on October 27, 2014, 02:17:01 AM
I wasn't really freaked out, but I definitely was surprised, amazed and happy :icon_chick: I remember thinking "Damn Dang, this ->-bleeped-<- stuff really works!!!"
Same here! Mine are about 2 inches in diameter, no more bear hugs for me for a while!
I was thrilled, but shocked (it was on day 5 of HRT). Never considered quitting.
At the beginning they were maybe the size of a small marble; at the biggest, I'd say a 1" ball.
I was thinking, is that what I think it is. I knew it was going to happen but finally happening was sweet.
(:
followed by
D;
because they hurt. bad.
Elation that I'm having boobs and that things are *really* happening. Finally. Waited 40 years, the change seems soooo fast these days!
Then, like others have stated, slamming them into something is PAINFUL. AVOID!!
And the daily pain, which isn't fun, but is a constant reminder that my body is catching up to my brain and that I'm headed in the right direction. Finally.
Thought about stopping hormones? No way. More like "holy sheeeeeeet. this is actually working!!!!".
Freak out? no i didnt, i was very happy when i found them which was before they became visible as i was forever checking for them lol, never considered stopping hormones although currently considering cutting my dosage back but this is due to me being stupid and self medicating before i was taken on by the nhs, im now worried i may harm my chances before i see their doctor (feb next year) so want to cut back to low dose until then
Here's the post that I wrote in my journal about a month and a half into hormones when I really started being able to call them breast buds for the first time:
"Oh, yeah, and I LOVE what I am now officially calling my boobs. Just having even that tiny bit of fatty tissue is just awesome to think about. Welcome to my body! Hope you like it here! I love you, my budding girls! :D "
I started hrt for a few days. Then started thinking i'm not transgender and quit. If something permanent were to happen like breast budding i would absolutely happy. BUT, the idea of beginning a permanent change freaks me out. I'm trying a partial transition where i continue to present as male, since i can never pass in an honest world, but see what hrt does for me. I feel a lot better about it now and am going to go back on hrt right away. I want boobs so freaking bad I can taste it!
Quote from: bridget on October 29, 2014, 01:06:44 PM
I started hrt for a few days. Then started thinking i'm not transgender and quit.
This is interesting. Did HRT make you feel worse, have no effect, or did it make you feel better but you just got cold feet and quit?
"Then started thinking i'm not transgender and quit."
If through some magic act I could wake up tomorrow with the body of a biological female I would be VERY happy without question. Nearly all of the time, I want to get rid of this male body. The big big problem i have in thinking i am not transgendered is that for the hour or so after I masturbate I COMPLETELY lose all desire to transition and feel as if i could live the rest of my life in this body contented. But, then time passes and my transgender feelings return.Plus, i dont hate my penis. I really really wish it was a vagina and other lady parts, but I dont hate what i have now. It could be improved. These feelings have gone on what seems like forever now. What if i grow boobs and regret it? What if i love it so much, i get SRS then end up regretting that.
I stopped hrt because I thought I am not doing a full transition, then why do permanent changes. I am going to always live in guy mode, so if i can keep doing what i have been for so long now, why not just keep doing it? That way i dont have to bind my boobs, explain things to people, etc.... But now i am planning to start hrt again in April after i lose like 40lbs. Same cycle continues.
Quote from: bridget on October 29, 2014, 11:45:19 PM
"Then started thinking i'm not transgender and quit."
If through some magic act I could wake up tomorrow with the body of a biological female I would be VERY happy without question. Nearly all of the time, I want to get rid of this male body. The big big problem i have in thinking i am not transgendered is that for the hour or so after I masturbate I COMPLETELY lose all desire to transition and feel as if i could live the rest of my life in this body contented. But, then time passes and my transgender feelings return.Plus, i dont hate my penis. I really really wish it was a vagina and other lady parts, but I dont hate what i have now. It could be improved. These feelings have gone on what seems like forever now. What if i grow boobs and regret it? What if i love it so much, i get SRS then end up regretting that.
I stopped hrt because I thought I am not doing a full transition, then why do permanent changes. I am going to always live in guy mode, so if i can keep doing what i have been for so long now, why not just keep doing it? That way i dont have to bind my boobs, explain things to people, etc.... But now i am planning to start hrt again in April after i lose like 40lbs. Same cycle continues.
I used to lose the feelings after masturbation, but that can be attributed to endorphins making you feel good, then wearing off. I don't hate my penis, either. I used to be scared about boobs and trying to hide them. I never EVER stopped or regretted HRT, though, so that's where our stories split. It's a good idea to lose weight before starting HRT. Good luck :)
Excitement, elation, wonder, worry, and...oh crap, they hurt!
My twice a month massages have been...interesting. Getting the girls drilled into the massage table as my therapist does deep pressure on my back for an hour is...special.
I walked around feeling myself up and marveling at what was happening lol..... It has taken awhile to get used to seeing myself naked with boobs but they are slowly becoming just another part of my anatomy at this point.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Quote from: Eva Marie on October 31, 2014, 05:24:27 PMIt has taken awhile to get used to seeing myself naked with boobs . . .
^ This ^
Just utterly weird still - in a really ->-bleeped-<-ing awesome way.
Yeah, drunk posting while waiting for Halloween kids to take my candy.
I remember reading peoples accounts of bumping into thinks and thinking yeah right just how likely are you to keep knocking your breasts, well it does happen and it hurts! in fact i could tell you where i was and what i was doing for a lot of the times it has happend, changes in tempature is another thing that hurts, well does for me anyway just getting out of bed into a cold room does it
Quote from: Wynternight on October 31, 2014, 01:53:32 PM
Excitement, elation, wonder, worry, and...oh crap, they hurt!
My twice a month massages have been...interesting. Getting the girls drilled into the massage table as my therapist does deep pressure on my back for an hour is...special.
I LOL'd at your comment...it's a right of passage for us MtF gals....because I have my first massage app't this coming week with my budding little girls now showing and I've been thinking how awkward this may all be for the massage therapist as I use the same one each time.
And how painful it may also be for me lying on my stomach for a good portion of time.
Quote from: bridget on October 27, 2014, 12:38:43 AM
What was your reaction when you first realizes, saw, or felt your breast buds present?? Did you freak out? Where you happy? Worried? How big were they? Did you consider stopping hormones?
I was a little freaked out when i first got mine. My wife didn't remember having breast buds during puberty, so she kind of fueled the concern. Plus, my buds grew in separately. So we weren't entirely sure what was happening. My left breast's bud grew first (pre-E); I was just on Spiro & later Spiro + Finasteride. I brought up the concern with my nipple at my first Endo appt. She said it was normal & they can grow at different paces. My right one came in after about a week into being on my Estradiol patch. When i actually realized they were breast buds I was excited.. they were painful though.
As far as the size, they were each about the size of a nickel at the beginning. They grow though. Later they got to be big and disk-like. Now they're shaped more like my breasts, with fatty tissue surrounding them..
I've never considered stopping hormones, even with having to hide my breasts for work. We have a casual dress code, so i just wear an unpadded sports-bra, t-shirt, and an oversized sweatshirt.
Quote from: bridget on October 27, 2014, 12:38:43 AM
What was your reaction when you first realizes, saw, or felt your breast buds present?? Did you freak out? Where you happy? Worried? How big were they? Did you consider stopping hormones?
Mine just started to really come in, and I was personally very very happy to see that, like it made my day :) But yes like others stated, bumping into or hitting them or brushing them HURTS!!! I have never considered stopping hormones, I am in this for the long haul. :)
Quote from: bridget on October 27, 2014, 12:38:43 AM
What was your reaction when you first realizes, saw, or felt your breast buds present?? Did you freak out? Where you happy? Worried? How big were they? Did you consider stopping hormones?
I was very happy even though it hurts a lot. It was painful for a while but I did freak out - in a happy way. :)
Quote from: michelle1 on November 01, 2014, 09:39:05 AM
I LOL'd at your comment...it's a right of passage for us MtF gals....because I have my first massage app't this coming week with my budding little girls now showing and I've been thinking how awkward this may all be for the massage therapist as I use the same one each time.
And how painful it may also be for me lying on my stomach for a good portion of time.
Pain and chafing. I have to resettle myself a few times to get off the headlights else they become raw.
A big sigh of relief and then excitment.
A little worried of others reactions. But now so proud on their rapid development.
I already had slight gynecomastia and very weird hormone levels before starting Spiro recently, and my doctor thinks I might have some mild intersex condition.
I noticed changes after less than two weeks, and the initial reaction was simply an "oh, it's starting already", followed by jumping with excitement, then some combined fear and relief, since it's finally getting serious, meaning I will have to come out to the "public" within a year or so (only close friends, a few random acquaintances and immediate family know as of now). But then that's also what I've been waiting for, even if it's scary!
After a few days, the itching started, then soreness. I jumped with excitement at that too, followed by the realization that I was supposed to go to a martial arts seminar a few hours later, and that a weekend of being tossed around would probably hurt a lot, combined with the less than soft fabric of my t-shirts and keikogi. A bit later, I found myself in a clothing store paying for a sports bra with a tortured look on my face, and then in the male wardrobe (I truly hate still having to use it) putting it on. The culture I live in emphasises politeness and watching one's own business, so I didn't receive any comments, but I sure did get some sideways glances... The bra worked at least, I survived the weekend. My recently-lowered blood pressure and the diuretic effects of Spiro were a bigger problem.
To sum up, I loved and love it, even the painful parts. I actually found the seminar part a bit entertaining (and the female friends of mine who I told couldn't stop laughing), despite the part about the male wardrobe being humiliating. But I guess that's something everyone has to go through, at least if they use gyms, dojos or anything similar without private or gender neutral wardrobes. The only thing that annoys me now is that I can't stop touching them, and that kind of makes the itching and soreness worse.
Rina : I also had gynecomastia plus super low T (below the minimum male range), and then breast buds in the first week... so I'm suggesting you might want to have your fallback coming-out plan ready soon. :) I ended up being outed by breast development by the fourth month on HRT.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on November 04, 2014, 04:41:41 PM
Rina : I also had gynecomastia plus super low T (below the minimum male range), and then breast buds in the first week... so I'm suggesting you might want to have your fallback coming-out plan ready soon. :) I ended up being outed by breast development by the fourth month on HRT.
I'm having the same issue. Being intersexed I guess my body was starving for estrogen since I started having growth about a week and a half into starting HRT. I may have to accelerate things as well. **gulp**
Quote from: Jenna Marie on November 04, 2014, 04:41:41 PM
Rina : I also had gynecomastia plus super low T (below the minimum male range), and then breast buds in the first week... so I'm suggesting you might want to have your fallback coming-out plan ready soon. :) I ended up being outed by breast development by the fourth month on HRT.
I had total T way below the minimum male range (almost within female range), but SHBG was also extremely low, which according to my doctor was very weird. It also causes T to be less low than it looks, if that makes sense, since little of it was bound to SHBG.
I have been thinking a lot about having a fallback coming-out plan, but I increasingly like the idea of not bothering at all until I change my name, since obviously at that point I'd prefer if people used it and changed pronouns. Of course, if rumors start going rampant in my extended circles, I'd have to take control and explain what's going on. That said, since I dress and style my hair female full time, plus wear varying amounts of makeup, I do suspect most people who meet me regularly may already have guessed. They just don't comment, except random compliments about things like some of my ear rings. It's getting kind of absurd, but I like it.
That said, acquaintances and family that I meet rarely would probably be shocked if they saw me in my current version. And of course, physiological changes would make it impossible for me to present in my former expression if I had to meet them. Additionally, I barely have male clothes left anyways, as I got rid of most of it a few months ago. So I will indeed have to give up being semi-closeted soon.
What the heck, when they started becoming more obvious, it was padded pushups for me.
I love them, wish they get to a decent/acceptable size, and don't hide em...
Quote from: Wynternight on November 03, 2014, 10:17:26 AM
Pain and chafing. I have to resettle myself a few times to get off the headlights else they become raw.
Had the massage this morning. Yeah, discomfort after lying on my stomach for more than a couple minutes.
Quote from: michelle1 on November 05, 2014, 10:32:48 AM
Had the massage this morning. Yeah, discomfort after lying on my stomach for more than a couple minutes.
Kind of hard to concentrate on enjoying the massage with the chafing and discomfort. Needs must find a solution to this issue.
Huh, I thought stuff was happening for me, but the fact there's no outright hurting or anything of the sort makes me think maybe it's just my imagination.
Am I supposed to be feeling stuff going on? Or do they just magically appear some day?
Quote from: FairyHime on November 06, 2014, 07:49:24 AM
Huh, I thought stuff was happening for me, but the fact there's no outright hurting or anything of the sort makes me think maybe it's just my imagination.
Am I supposed to be feeling stuff going on? Or do they just magically appear some day?
Things were kinda happening with me, then I started to think they were tender, some of the time. This week it's a full on ache. I think it sneaks up on us.
Lol, pretty much this... "Excitement, elation, wonder, worry, and...oh crap, they hurt!"
Day 18 - Notice small bump under nipples, assumed to be just my imagination
Day 20 - There is something there and the feel a bit different
Day 26 - Ok my breasts are sore... a bit nervous
Day 30 - Did I get in a car accident while i was sleeping? Who's been pounding on my chest at night?!
Day 33 - Definitely can't sleep on my stomach for now. How long is this going to last?
I'm only like day 36... so i'm still nervous about it. Am i doing the right thing? But, i can talk my self out of anything, so i'm going with my feelings/gut because my analytical side is looking for perfect answers and they don't necessarily exist.
My therapist thinks I'm on the "Holy ->-bleeped-<-!" (her words) end of the slow/fast development scale.
HRT week 1 was me poking them and wondering if I was imagining things. By week 3, I got a comment from a co-worker that I should be wearing a tshirt. Right now (Week 6), no layering works anymore. I have to use hoodies/thick clothing and avoid running/jumping to stay under the radar. Terrifying and exhilarating all at once!
Quote from: VikingArchangel on November 09, 2014, 12:35:56 AM
My therapist thinks I'm on the "Holy ->-bleeped-<-!" (her words) end of the slow/fast development scale.
HRT week 1 was me poking them and wondering if I was imagining things. By week 3, I got a comment from a co-worker that I should be wearing a tshirt. Right now (Week 6), no layering works anymore. I have to use hoodies/thick clothing and avoid running/jumping to stay under the radar. Terrifying and exhilarating all at once!
;D I've been tenting my shirts for weeks now. I layer and keep my shoulders rotated forward but that's not going to work for much longer. I get double takes all the time now.
VikingArchangel : You sound like me! I also thought I was making it up in the first week, until I jogged down a flight of stairs; after the first month I was already filling an A cup. So, fair warning, I was also 42C at 4 months and 42DDD by the end of three years or so (and still growing, very slowly). :) Brace yourself for a wild ride!
I felt tingling before the end of the first week I think. I mean, I don't think it was just in my head? Either way I was sure by the end of the week. By the second or third week I could feel buds. Now I'm between month three and four and hoping they continue developing at a reasonable pace. I'm super thin so I just worry that I get enough food to support their growth. That and those glands had better form properly and not give me "toobie boobies!!" They aren't big enough yet for people to really notice with a shirt on (that means my size women's small hollister tshirt) or at least no one has mentioned it yet. I check in the mirror every day primarily because of my fear of being hypoplastic. I've also had very little of the soreness everyone describes. Only a couple times I got bumped it hurt and kinda surprised me in the moment but not nearly to the point of tears. That actually worries me because I'd better be developing dammit!!
since i always have a shirt on[even when i sleep] except for when i shower because obvious reasons i only got to see them while i shower
so lets put it this way "[holds both of them in my hands[they werent so big so it hadnt been a problem] and just started crying tears of joy and started mumbling "i love you two soooooooo much!!]
this pretty much sums up all of my female experiences reaction wise