Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: Ms Grace on October 28, 2014, 06:02:10 AM

Title: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Ms Grace on October 28, 2014, 06:02:10 AM
Most people at my workplace knew me as a dude for many years. I've now been full time as Grace for seven months and my colleagues have all been supportive, although some of them struggled with the right pronouns when they weren't thinking and would slip up. The last few misgendering were about four to six weeks ago - knock on wood it has settled down.

And now it seems many of them are at the point they aren't even trying to remember to "get it right" it's just second nature.

For example today a couple of the women were talking about the artwork done by the daughters of one of them...

Woman 1: Did you show Grace?
Woman 2: No, I'll show her now.

Made my day. (And the art was great too!)
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: MelanieH74 on October 28, 2014, 06:15:37 AM
That must have felt awesome. Can't wait for that day myself !
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: V M on October 28, 2014, 06:46:06 AM
That's great Grace  :icon_chick:
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: rosinstraya on October 28, 2014, 07:28:04 AM
Very nice to hear!
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Olivia-Anne on October 28, 2014, 04:09:28 PM
For me, it took about 6 months for the slip ups to become infrequent.  Im about 10 months full-time now and it has been a couple months since anyone has said a boy pronoun. Thankfully my colleagues have been really good with it.

Liv
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Pikachu on October 28, 2014, 04:25:34 PM
Thanks for sharing that, Grace. It made me smile, thinking of how happy you must have felt in that moment. :)
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Jill F on October 28, 2014, 04:31:15 PM
I am still blown away every time someone calls me "miss". 

There's no planet on which I am young enough to warrant that.
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: MelissaAnn on October 28, 2014, 04:38:26 PM
That's super exciting, I bet you were all smiles for the rest of the day....!
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Just Shelly on October 29, 2014, 11:03:07 AM
I will admit it did take about 3-5months to get used to it at work. Now its just natural. I've had many moments of people making gender jokes that make me want to laugh more than them. Just last week I had a young man tell me "just be a man, Shelly" when trying to help him with something physical LOL I told him, I'm trying hehehe

When I started my first job as a woman, on my second day someone paged an employee of my former name....I was about 2 seconds away from returning the page!! That would of been freaky!!

The only times it is a bit strange to hear, is when my children gender me correctly. I only recently after 3 years of being legally Shelly told them they need to use the proper pronouns at home. I have given them enough time....even though I still realize it is hard for them. Many times they still mess up but when they want something its always her or she....

There are other times where I would just like to tell someone the truth! Like yesterday when I received a phone call wanting to talk to who's in charge of the business (its a manly job) when I told him I was......he proceeded to tell me "oh, well I guess I'm talking to the hardest working lady in town" and other gender degrading bs....I hung up on the ->-bleeped-<-.....
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Nicole on October 29, 2014, 11:58:56 PM
It took a few of the older family members a while to not think about it, but the younger ones were great, right from day dot.
Mum one day I remember said to another family member when I was out of the room but over heard that it was hard, now I guess even thinking back to that time she'll see me as a female
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: Eva Marie on October 30, 2014, 01:12:15 AM
I still have one guy that can't get it right..... he and my boss were talking in a hallway right in front of me and after he used "he" (referring to me) for the 3rd consecutive time in the conversation I loudly cleared my throat and said "......she?....." and he immediately corrected himself. I don't think it's done in malice, but it is an ongoing issue with him and it's not the first time he's slipped up.

I'm still in my grace period and i'm going to give him and everyone else more time before I get firm about people gendering me correctly. I've only been full time for about 5 weeks and most people are getting it right by now...... but not this guy  :eusa_doh:

Congrats on rounding the corner Grace!
Title: Re: When correct gendering becomes natural
Post by: April Lee on October 30, 2014, 01:54:08 AM
I have found people who have known me as male have a lot of trouble with seeing me as female. New people, who have known me only as April,  are a whole lot easier in this regard. Even though my sister has achieved some level of comfort with this, she still invariably refers to me by my male name, or as her "bro". I have noticed that when this happens, I tend to unconsciously act more male in their presence to accommodate. I don't like that about me at all.