I'm going to die probably because I want to, and I might just run until i'm nowhere to be found then ill starve to death it will be painful but it's okay it can not be worse than this.I hate everyone I know anyways and incapable of loving there's nothing more to do. I might not post for a while feeling suicidal and depressed
Woah, woah, woah.
You might've already seen it, but in case you didn't, there's a list of hotlines here.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,112671.0.html
And of course everyone at Susans is here if there's something you need/want to talk about. If you don't want to talk, that's ok too. But please don't rush into anything drastic and permanent.
Quote from: Dandy Dunker on October 31, 2014, 09:43:54 PM
I'm going to die probably because I want to, and I might just run until i'm nowhere to be found then ill starve to death it will be painful but it's okay it can not be worse than this.I hate everyone I know anyways and incapable of loving there's nothing more to do. I might not post for a while feeling suicidal and depressed
Please slow down. Take a deep breath and think a little. You are among friends here, some of which have felt exactly the way you do right now.
Oh yeah, it is worst than this. Starving to death is painful. The act of dying is painful and not pretty. It is in no way glamorous and it is kind of degrading even. Take a breath and think. You have friends here. So take a little bit and get to know us. Oh yeah we are just normal people just like you are a normal person. You may not like some of us, you may like some of us. You may even call some of us friends even. Running don't work. Been there done that. Hiding? been there done that. Disappeared, been there done that and was found halfway around the world. Just be who you are and proud of who you are. I and others here will accept you. All you have to do is accept yourself. You are way more normal than you think. Hell we are all more normal than maybe 80% of the population of the world.
So call a hotline. Talk to some of us. You are important. You just need to see that for yourself.
Please, don't. :(
If you think things can't get any worse, well that means they can only get better! And they will.
The things you're worrying about now will seem really small in a few years. If your badass future self could tell you this, he would. ;)
I gather you worry a lot about having to take hormones for the rest of your life - well, it's really not that bad! And there's lots of different types that mean taking it more or less often.
For example I get just 4 injections a year now. I go to my local GP, and the nurses are always really lovely - no prejudice whatsoever. Last time we were even chatting about how maybe soon they'll invent some little implant to slow release the T, and you'd just change it every few years (like girls can get)!
And honestly, you can have a really, really great life as a transperson. You just need to keep your chin up and get through the hard parts first. And by the end of it, you'll be a much stronger person than most cis-guys. They've not been through what you have..
Big hug! Call a hotline if these thoughts are overwhelming you. They can help. Never throw a permanent solution at a temporary problem.
Hugs, Devlyn
No pressure, man, but if you need an ear, hit me up, ok?
And stick around. I recognize your username. This is a better place for you in it.
Internet hugs, bro. Please give one of those hotlines a call, if ya can, and if you can't, hit me up via PM if you want. I can't promise anything but sympathy and a listening ear, but I can give those well.
I'm so sorry you feel so down, dude. I hope you can feel at least a little better, soon. Nobody deserves to feel so terrible, and you do deserve help. <3
OK. He posted this last night. Is anyone else kind of worried?
Hey man please PM if you need to talk. I know what it's like to feel like there's nothing for you. I've spent years alone. I've been addicted to heroin because I wanted to die but I wasn't willing to kill myself. Sometimes it feels like the future doesn't exist. Like there's no chance. Nothing worth waiting for. But there always is. Find something that fascinates you. Something that has you itching, craving for what's next. And hold on. There's always something worth waiting for. I've been on the losing end of suicide. I have a constant reminder on my forearm of the girl that I'll never get to see again. and everyday I miss her. I still cry for her 6 years later. Just hold on bro. We are here and we love you. We want you to have everything you want and deserve in life. Please hold out.