In Australia it is fairly common for men to call each other "mate", regardless of how well they know each other or not (it's the equivalent of "buddy" or "pal" in the US). It's not common for men to refer to other women that way but they might, usually where there is friendship involved. It's even less common for women to call men mate unless the woman is a bit blokey, very familiar with the man or she is using it sarcastically. Women can, but rarely use it to address each other.
Generally I always loathed men calling me mate and could never use it myself, except dripping with sarcasm. I was generally OK with close friends, male or female, calling me mate. Transition has pretty much taken care of that though!
That is also what my mother has called me for as long as I can remember and it has never really bothered me much. When I transitioned she said she'd still always call me mate, probably acknowledging it wasn't something women used amongst each other and she certainly never called my sister "mate". I told her I was fine with that. Phone calls usually wound up with, "OK, mate, it's been nice talking..."
Last week and today though she used "my dear" instead.
:icon_joy:
That's wonderful Grace :D :D :D :D :D
Im so happy for you
I can't wait until my parents do that as well !!!!(Im so sick of "mate" & "son", although they seem to have cut down on the "son" a lot :P )
I may not really understand how it feels to be called "mate," but "my dear" sounds incredibly lovely and sweet. :)
You said it best yourself Grace :icon_joy:
Congratulations. It can be amazing sometimes how small simple things like that can really brighten our day
Is it okay to be called "A Sleila"..?
(Remembering Crocodile Dundee)..
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 07, 2014, 10:08:32 PM
In Australia it is fairly common for men to call each other "mate", regardless of how well they know each other or not (it's the equivalent of "buddy" or "pal" in the US). It's not common for men to refer to other women that way but they might, usually where there is friendship involved. It's even less common for women to call men mate unless the woman is a bit blokey, very familiar with the man or she is using it sarcastically. Women can, but rarely use it to address each other.
Generally I always loathed men calling me mate and could never use it myself, except dripping with sarcasm. I was generally OK with close friends, male or female, calling me mate. Transition has pretty much taken care of that though!
That is also what my mother has called me for as long as I can remember and it has never really bothered me much. When I transitioned she said she'd still always call me mate, probably acknowledging it wasn't something women used amongst each other and she certainly never called my sister "mate". I told her I was fine with that. Phone calls usually wound up with, "OK, mate, it's been nice talking..."
Last week and today though she used "my dear" instead.
:icon_joy:
my friends & I have a theory that when a guy calls a female mate it ends all hope of him sleeping with her ever.
wow grace, thats really cool.
My mother calls me.. "my girl".. i love it as it shows she has accepted me as her daughter... she did not at first.. it was years before she came round..
Maybe grace,. in your mothers head,.. she has now fully accepted you as her daughter...
Hey Grace, this is good news ma...er, miss! :D
I think it's very hard for family to get their heads around the terms of endearment they use for us. Even if we're fully supported, these mental shortcuts represent a lifetime of comfortable use, and it's hard to consistently change them.
Hugs
Julia
congrats
Grats Grace! That's great to hear! :D ♥︎
We have the "mate" thing over here in the UK too, so I know exactly what you mean. I use it myself just to fit in but it's always felt extremely uncomfortable and awkward to me. "hunni" / "hun" and "sweetheart" / "sweetie" are more my pace :) We also have "my duck" where I live (it's a Home Counties thing lol :P ) which I've always thought was cute lol :P I can't wait to be in a position where I can start using those phrases instead lol :) ♥︎
My dad loathed the word "mate" because he said it sounded too cockney! And we were all of 60km away from the place! I have no idea what he might have called me now, were he still alive.
"My dear" is perfectly good, Grace, but I thought she'd be calling you Gracie now?! :)
Hi Mark;
A woman can be called a "Sheila" but its very much a derogatory /tongue in cheek name for a woman. A lot of Aussie blokes talk about having a couple of tininess and time with the Sheilas, not forgetting to pack the sunnies. Of course we all need to wear our cosies and if your a bloke - your budgie smugglers!
JudithLynn
That must be such a nice feeling :') My mom's the same way. She still calls me a 'he' & says her 'son' when referring to me. It's annoying & I always correct her. I think I'll cry of happiness the day she actually acknowledges me as her daughter
Quote from: ♥︎ SarahD ♥︎ on November 08, 2014, 05:24:43 AM
Grats Grace! That's great to hear! :D ♥︎
We have the "mate" thing over here in the UK too, so I know exactly what you mean. I use it myself just to fit in but it's always felt extremely uncomfortable and awkward to me. "hunni" / "hun" and "sweetheart" / "sweetie" are more my pace :) We also have "my duck" where I live (it's a Home Counties thing lol :P ) which I've always thought was cute lol :P I can't wait to be in a position where I can start using those phrases instead lol :) ♥︎
Oh my gosh, I remember hearing that on TV and thinking it was the cutest thing! <3
Quote from: Mark3 on November 07, 2014, 10:36:29 PM(Remembering Crocodile Dundee)...
Wonderful movie, and I kinda feel guilty when I laugh at Mick Dundee "testing" the trans-girl in the bar. (She's pretty though, and it's a bit of a trigger for me because it was one of the first guy-being-a-girl things I ever saw.)
But not as big a trigger as the party scene (with the cocaine): there's a girl wearing a dress covered in alphabet print walking down the stairs, just an extra. That was one of the first times in my life when I was utterly jealous that I wasn't female. I remember leaving the movie theater feeling utterly desolate inside because I thought it would never happen.
:) That must feel lovely, Grace. It's great when the people that thought of us as male for so long start showing that they now think of us as female. I felt relieved and accepted when my parents started referring to me as their daughter. They still get pronouns wrong on occasion which always stings a little after a few seconds when my initial "he who?" turns to "oh... you mean me." :/ I've found that even conservative parents get better over time though as long as you're lucky enough to have parents who care more about you than about gender politics.
As a side note; where I grew up, in Brighton, England, everyone was mate and everyone called each other mate regardless of gender. It's the City of Mates. So, my hometown friends still call me mate, both the men and women, but coming from them it just means "friend" and nothing more... I think... it'd better!
Lol I play Eve online it gets to the point where even Americans start calling everyone mate lol
Good for you grace!
What a lovely story. ^^ These little linguistic shifts in the speech of those around you always bring such happiness~!
Congratulations! It sounds like you have a wonderful Mom.
Sure beats what i get from my mother.
That ummm ah person.... she cant say son or daughter and its been hmm 5 years now hahah.
Congrats either way :D.
Quote from: Nicole on November 08, 2014, 01:06:54 AM
my friends & I have a theory that when a guy calls a female mate it ends all hope of him sleeping with her ever.
Haha, probably true!
Quote from: Mark3 on November 07, 2014, 10:36:29 PM
Is it okay to be called "A Sleila"..?
(Remembering Crocodile Dundee)..
"Sheila" is pretty outdated these days, and was more of a third person reference ("check out that sheila") or as part of an insult ("you crazy sheila!")... unlike "mate" it doesn't get used as a term denoting interrelation.
There was a woman at my uni many years ago named Sheila Shaver...and yeah, the juvenile in me couldn't help but be boggled by that combination of words.