Just wondering if clothes are as important for the alleviation of your dysphoria or could you remove your dysphoria with just the mental and physical changes of HRT. I love wearing dresses and the physical changes allow me to do that a lot easier in public, but the HRT by itself is healing me to the point of wanting to live so badly where before HRT it was the daily thought of the most painless method. personally , I don't feel I can be totally me with out the clothes, just curious if you feel clothes are as important as HRT. ( Disclaimer: in no way is this question intended to harm or cause conflict. it's just for information purpose and if the question is some how misinterpreted I'm truly sorry ).
Not a lot really. I still wear jeans and tshirts most of the time. Dresses tend to make me more anxious and uncomfortable.
A lot. Doesn't have to be dresses or skirts (although I do love to wear them) - now that I've worked out I can pass in pants and shorts too I often wear them more than I do dresses. Being able to wear jeans and a tee and pass as a woman was my holy grail the first time I tried to transition. My inability to get the look to work for me back then (usually resulted in misgendering so I was clearly doing something wrong) was part of the reason I crashed and burned.
Quote from: Jaime R D on November 08, 2014, 06:03:30 PM
Not a lot really. I still wear jeans and t-shirts most of the time.
So do I. I'm not into all of that dressy, girly crap.
HRT is kind of the tool for patience for me. I'm not full time despite being 14 months in, so I'm happy to just wear whatever I like (which is usually androgynous). If I get misgendered when I'm clearly too nervous to be trying then that actually makes me smile. It's weird, really. I like a lot of blazers and jeans and distressed looks, which is hard to pass with, but at the same time I have some days where nothing but wearing shorts/dresses privately at home can brighten my day.
It was at first, I needed to wear more feminine clothes to feel better with myself. No dresses cause they were looking odd on me at start.
Now that I can pass even naked (except for not having GRS yet), it doest not matter anymore. I'm more the type to wear a tanktop and jeans.
Everything that could make me look more like a woman was the welcome before. Now if I wear a man t-shirt (still use my old ones when going to sweat like hell), peoples tell me "ooh, you stole your boyfriend t-shirt?" so I care less about clothes I wear, I just try to be comfortable and like myself in the mirror.
I had to wear dresses in the last two months and I now look sexy in it (well that is what I've been told), but I still won't wear one on a casual day it's not my style.
Short answer :
It was damn important at start, it's not anymore.
I'm not sure. My first time in women's shoes, I was in my mid 20's. I definitely hated female clothes, but it wasn't like I ever owned much of them.
I went to Target and bought the dress I got on in my avatar. you can only see the top though. I'm definitely mentally happier in proper clothes
Clothing definitely helps. Outer not as much as under. I absolutely can not go without a camisole for some reason. But when I am wearing a skirt or dress its a total different feeling than with pants or shorts. Might be different if or when I go full time.
Not at all... hair is most important me besides the physical form.
I have short for job purposes but i try to keep it stylish.
Clothing doesn't do much for me, but I think not wearing female clothing is beginning to cause me stress. I suspect its the constant hiding that's doing it. I do like shopping for womens clothing a whole lot more than I ever did for mens though.
Hmm not really important. I'm quite content with a hoodie or sports jacket and tracksuit pants or just sportswear in general. Even if it isn't those I tend to like wearing skinny leg jeans and female flannel shirts. For shoes though I generally wear Vans or Converses and sometimes Macbeths :D
None. I wear what I like and never liked male clothes so there is no problem there. Men sort of disgust me.
Quote from: Natalie on November 09, 2014, 08:49:10 AM
Men sort of disgust me.
Tolerance works both ways, does it not?
Pre-HRT, clothes were very important. Post-transition, the importance is very little, indeed.
Quote from: Nicolette on November 09, 2014, 09:09:24 AM
Tolerance works both ways, does it not?
Pre-HRT, clothes were very important. Post-transition, the importance is very little, indeed.
I never claimed I couldn't tolerate them. They still disgust me.
Quote from: Natalie on November 09, 2014, 09:19:28 AM
I never claimed I couldn't tolerate them. They still disgust me.
Clothes are important to me for now at least. As far as men, though, I like certain styles (just not on me of course lol)... and my boyfriend wears the style I like and I wear the style he likes when in girl mode.. which is the leggings, skirt, long sweater jacket, shirt under, boots with heels, usually...... although, skirt not required all the time, just when want to feel extra girly at the moment.
Men gross? no way!! :)
They are very important to me but not the most important part, that would be my hair. I just wish it would hurry and grow :D
Quote from: Jenelle on November 09, 2014, 10:53:48 AM
They are very important to me but not the most important part, that would be my hair. I just wish it would hurry and grow :D
Hair is a pain in the butt... I want to get a wig but eh... not really want to shell out that much cash for one, could if I really got down and need to have it. I just style it short feminine like... with that, clothes, and make up, it's easy to pass for me. There are actually some women who are cute with short hair, I could easily get by with it, but I want a different style that requires much longer. I can probably have it next summer.
Wearing women's clothes mattered a LOT to me back when that was all I had; once I started HRT, the more I looked like a woman while naked the less I cared about the clothes. :) Now, at 5 years in, I can even wear men's clothes without any qualms; it took a while to get to that point, but so long as I see a woman in men's clothes in the mirror these days, it doesn't bother me.
Quote from: Jenna Marie on November 09, 2014, 03:50:56 PM
Wearing women's clothes mattered a LOT to me back when that was all I had; once I started HRT, the more I looked like a woman while naked the less I cared about the clothes. :) Now, at 5 years in, I can even wear men's clothes without any qualms; it took a while to get to that point, but so long as I see a woman in men's clothes in the mirror these days, it doesn't bother me.
That's how I feel
It's a little more complicated than just "put on this set of clothes and feel better". Clothes, in a social context, are a uniform whether conscious or not. For me dysphoria often comes from wearing the "wrong uniform" and has nothing to do with inherent curing/ailing properties of a garment. So sometimes dysphoria can come from nonconformity. The flip side of that coin, of course, is the liberating feeling that sometimes comes from "breaking out" of ones designated uniform.
Quote from: cathyrains on November 09, 2014, 04:20:06 PM
It's a little more complicated than just "put on this set of clothes and feel better". Clothes, in a social context, are a uniform whether conscious or not. For me dysphoria often comes from wearing the "wrong uniform" and has nothing to do with inherent curing/ailing properties of a garment. So sometimes dysphoria can come from nonconformity. The flip side of that coin, of course, is the liberating feeling that sometimes comes from "breaking out" of ones designated uniform.
This is how I feel.
Clothes aren't what make me a woman but they tell other people and reinforce that I am one.
They are important to me now as I haven't been on hormone therapy yet (not officially anyway) but when I start to look female naked then clothes won't matter much.
I will say this though, buying feminine clothing is definitely more exhilarating than buying guy clothes! In fact I have bought very few men's clothing myself. Mostly my wife bought them. I just didn't care at all and I found it so boring. But women's clothes? I'm having a blast shopping for my new wardrobe.
Clothes and all the other elements of presentation were not as important to my early transition as self acceptance. Once I was ok with who I am the rest has been wonderfully nice validation.
I now love shopping and looking more feminine and almost threw all my old boy clothes away. And then transition has some uncertainty and I appreciate those who have been out longer who find their clothes are just that; clothes that are functional but don't define them.
Giving up trying to look like or dress like a man was and is a huge relief for my dysphoria. I still squirm a little thinking about a suit and tie. I further admire those who have arrived at a comfort level with their body where clothes don't matter and are more for fun. I feel like I am getting there. Boy clothes never made me a man and girl clothes feel better but don't make me a woman.
For me it's the feeling I got from starting HRT, and seeing those changes. I'm starting to feel more complete , more like me! But I do like clothes too, not being full time, I still discarded all my male clothes and now just wear androgynous female clothes out. Work I still have male clothes :embarrassed:
Initially before the HRT, the wearing female clothes was very important to alleviating the stress and dysphoria. They hid the ugliness of my masculinity from view despite being ill fitting on the whole. The image I saw was that of a woman trying to emerge from the sorry excuse of a so called man.
The more I've travelled along this transitional journey, the wearing of female clothes has lessened as a relief mechanism. What has helped is that during this past year my body has changed from male to that of a more female one; in part due to diet and also thanks to HRT itself.
I am getting my reassurances and alleviation of dysphoria now more from my physical changes. Besides, wearing the old male clothes now just makes me look ridiculous. So from the practical point of view wearing male clothes they largely unflattering as they no longer fit right in any of the obvious places. Even not wearing a bra underneath my male tops I can still see the rounds of my breasts.
I have one suit and I'm trying to rationalize if I'll ever need it , every thing else is female, a dream come true. I hate suits love dresses. I've never ever felt good in a suit.
Quote from: stephaniec on November 11, 2014, 04:13:51 PM
I've never ever felt good in a suit.
Me neither. And don't get me started about tuxedos... It was like the opposite of that Men's Wearhouse TV ad. "You're going to hate the way you look. I guarantee it!"
Actually, early on and pre-HRT, the only thing I did to relieve dysphoria was dress the part for a few weeks. Honestly, the clothes did very little compared to the HRT.
For years and years, all I pretty much wore day-to-day were t-shirts and sweatpants. Gender neutral all the way.
Not very, honestly. I don't really care what I'm wearing as long as I can be a girl wearing those things. I've gone out in unisex t-shirts and jeans quite often, actually, since transitioning.
My only sticking point is that I still can't really wear "cute" things like other women can, because my shoulders are too big and my body is too square for them. That still causes me dysphoria, that I still can't really wear dresses or look even remotely decent in the "formal" clothes that cis girls love because it "makes them feel like a princess." Yeah... not happening here. I'm still stuck in dark colors, pants, and flats. Anything else and I'd either be too tall or too visibly-masculine in those feminine clothes.
But still, it's not really the clothes that I'm jealous of, it's the body underneath the clothes. I really just want a body shape that would look feminine enough to be able to wear them. I don't care if I actually do wear them or not, I just want to know that I could if I wanted to, rather than feeling alienated from those female experiences because I know I'll never be able to do them at all.
In the beginning before hrt wearing feminine clothes was a desire but once on I could not seem be around a mirror for too in depth of an examination. It made the contrast of me and the clothes glare back enough to cause big problems. I do have to give those experiences credit because it was the shock I needed to once and for all confront who I was on the inside. When that happened, it was the very first time that inner glimmer or spark of the real me came out through my eyes. Recognition of this for what it truly was was my aha moment, and from that moment on the unveiling began at the same time my old self began to unravel. Now I am completely comfortable in both womens casual and dressy. Not really cool with the few guy jeans and t-shirts that I saved for outdoor work but soon I'll even have feminine work clothes....yay. ;D Dani
They're my clothes, not the ones I've always had to wear. Even if it's just a T and shorts, they're mine. Mine, mine, mine. All mine. :laugh:
Very important.
I do however not have to dress very femininely, jeans and a t-shirt (and generally something to cover the scars on my arms; how I wish I had not decided to repress my wish to transition as a teenager) will do, but they have to be women's jeans and t-shirts. Some of the shirts may be androgynous, but even then I at least know I picked them out by myself, because I liked them, not because I had to fit some norm. As for jeans I always wear women's slim or skinny fit models, because I like how they feel (I like that they sit in place), and because I like how they show off my hips, which were broad/feminine to begin with. Before accepting myself, I always wore loose-fitting (sometimes even baggy) suit pants because I knew I looked feminine in tight-sitting jeans.
I'm wearing more (or even very) feminine tops increasingly often these days though, and I can see myself getting rid of most of my more androgynous wardrobe in a year or so. For once in life, I see the fact that clothes from outlets like H&M wear out quickly as a good thing, as it's a good excuse to not keep them for long while transitioning.
I truly belong in a dress, but for me the physical changes are like 90% of the solution, which could be mostly the mental affects but I've been very lucky with both mental and physical changes. I'm hoping for another good year.