So I have some real problems with making friends, but my biggest problem is keeping friends. I don't know if this is normal but I just have no interest in getting to know anybody that I meet. Sometimes I fake it to be a "good friend" since I'm really lonely, but I quickly get bored and go an try to make new friends only to have the same thing happen again. I just don't care about anyone else's life. I think that sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. I can't make myself care about something that I don't, or else I would. I have a generic feeling of care for humanity in general, I don't like to hear of people suffering or dying, but when it comes to specific people, the only reason I even pretend to care is for selfish reasons; I want attention. I don't want to be this way, I want to care about someone and have real feelings for them and actually want to get to know them, but I really just can't...help!
Quote from: Danielle Emmalee on November 08, 2014, 08:22:32 PM
So I have some real problems with making friends, but my biggest problem is keeping friends. I don't know if this is normal but I just have no interest in getting to know anybody that I meet. Sometimes I fake it to be a "good friend" since I'm really lonely, but I quickly get bored and go an try to make new friends only to have the same thing happen again. I just don't care about anyone else's life. I think that sounds bad, but I'm just being honest. I can't make myself care about something that I don't, or else I would. I have a generic feeling of care for humanity in general, I don't like to hear of people suffering or dying, but when it comes to specific people, the only reason I even pretend to care is for selfish reasons; I want attention. I don't want to be this way, I want to care about someone and have real feelings for them and actually want to get to know them, but I really just can't...help!
I have been like this for a while. I isolated myself for a really long time. I pushed away all my friends from high school and now I don't really have any really friends. its been like this for awhile now. its like I forgot how to make and be a friend.
But recently ive met people that I really do like. even though I am quite and whatever they are very warm and friendly towards me. So maybe both of us have been around the wrong people.
I meet lots of people that are nice and friendly to me. They're interested in my life and want to be my friend and I want to be their friend, but I just really could care less about the person specifically.
That's the exact reason I can't watch reality shows is because I could careless for those peoples lives, I mean most of those shows like wives of Atlanta or Jersey shore and the Kardashians and honey poop poop are just trash tv. Though but sometimes it carries over into meeting real people, I will meet people and will put up a front and act like I like them when I really don't but then with other people I can be different. Well good luck to you, well maybe...do I even care? Lol :)
I feel the same. Recently, I've been wondering about adopting the label A-social, since I have very little interest in people irl. Unless there's something specific that I need to talk to them about (ie work, studies, etc). I'm just barely hanging onto the few friends that I have, and neglect nurturing those relationships. I ask people how they are for the sake of keeping them as friends or out of principal (care about other people's just the right thing to do no?) and not because I genuinely care. I feel awful, but I cant make myself care when I dont. I try but it hasn't worked so far.
So, I think I understand where you're coming from. I don't know if this is normal to feel this way, but you aint alone.
I base my interactions entirely on the vibes I get. If the vibes are immediately compatible then I'm likely to be interested and active in socialising with that person. Otherwise, I just make brief, cordial interactions and go back to my little world. When you have trust issues you tend to hone your bullsh*t detector well.
Speaking of bullsh*t... I think it's pretty ridiculous that you have to replace a letter or two with an asterisk when using an expletive. The reader still knows what's being said unless they're maybe five years old. You're not protecting anyone. It's like how a photo where a woman's nipples that are blurred or hidden behind some piece of clipart is safer for kids, but take it away and it's pornographic (you know, once you've reached the age where you're no longer suckling).
Heh.. talk about not being able to make friends... If it doesn't make sense I make sure you know why... and then I'm left asking my own question: "Hey, where are you going?" :P
Maybe you just haven't found people you truly click with yet? I find that the less I have in common with someone, the less I care about them personally. I still care about them in the way I care about people in general, but I can feel so disconnected when we're talking... And there are plenty of times when I just want to shut out the entire world except for my SO. Just forget everything else exists. I have a pretty large anti-social streak, which is hidden under a friendly exterior. Sometimes I literally have to force myself to talk and interact with others. Sometimes it's the easiest thing in the world. It's odd.
your not alone in the lacking good friends department.
i have people im "friendly" with at work and online i talk to but dont actually do stuff with. then i have my friends i talk to on a regular basis... all 3? of them. and 1 is on other side of country, and 1 is in a different country.
it just feels like im not actually "me" when im around people. too hard to feel comfortable being myself. i used to have alot more friends and socializing used to be alot easier (in spite of being home schooled and isolated for 4 years when i was younger). depression, and transitioning, and alot of other things going on im peoples lives can really kill off their ability to make and keep friends.
I believe you may not click with just anybody and may be annoyed at their conversations of topic. I find that many times and find the topic quite boring and even asinine, like at work. Its like some doctors, lawyers and engineers may find some topics of conversation boring and slow or other intellectuals types. I know introverts find it triply hard to click with people, I know I do. You just have not found people you click with, thats all really.