I liked the topic about whether you're comfortable with same birth gender people in you life, but I wanted to post broader than that, and ask:
Do you have many CIS friends outside of your family that you're close to, that are you're trusted friends, that you share everything with.?
Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts or experiences..
I have many and they accept me without question. It is nice when people see you for what you are instead of what you were declared as. Still trying to get used to cis girl subjects of talk though. ;D
My bestie's cis, and we get along really well :)
My trans*ness is a non issue in our friendship and it doesn't feature that significantly tbh. :)
It's amazing cause she's named Jo as well, and we both drive blue 1997 Toyota camry's. So it's very easy to annoy our friends ;)
Quotethat you're close to, that are you're trusted friends, that you share everything with.
Nope, but no trans friends in that description either.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 10, 2014, 12:03:37 AM
Nope, but no trans friends in that description either.
That is sad Kitty! :(
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 10, 2014, 12:06:41 AM
That is sad Kitty! :(
Is it really? I don't really see the need to share my inner thoughts with anyone. Safer too.
Quote from: LordKAT on November 10, 2014, 12:36:53 AM
Is it really? I don't really see the need to share my inner thoughts with anyone. Safer too.
:'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(
I have one cisfriend that matches that description and maybe one trans'mentor'friendtype that would match that. I don't get that close to peope so easily.
But my cisfriend has been my friend since she decided that she wasn't going to let me be bullied when I was 2.5 years old :p We're 3 weeks apart and secretely I think we're twins ;) (joking).
She was the first person I actually talked to about genderstuff, back when I had no idea what it all meant. And she was there all the way from: maybe I'm not really a girl to I'm probably nonbinary to I want to transition and I was a boy. It wasn't an issue for her. She's still way tougher then me though :p She's tiny but she's a black belt in Judo and she can takeguys twice her size! She's badass :p We sometimes joke that if you would've told some teacher back in the day one of us was transgender, every single one would've thought it was her :p Breaking stereotypes since we were tiny :p
people i can share everything with...
well, there are a few whom i'm not afraid to talk to about whatever.
one is trans, but trapped in cis by family. one is cis identified nb, one is cis gay, another cis hetero.
within family, my oldest brother is probably the only one i'll ever feel like sharing things with.
the younger siblings are people i'll inform about myself rather than share of my inner being with.
Most of my friends are cis, but I have a number of trans friends too. Doesn't worry me either way as long as they're great people to spend time, laughs and conversation with. I probably have more cis female friends than cis male though.
I have many cis friends who treat me like any other guy. I don't trust anyone for reasons that have nothing to do with being trans.
I have several cis friends, one that I have known for years, who has been a prayer partner and deep friend.
When I hit the wall hard, on that night of crisis, the first of many, I called him and confessed that I was trans, and asked him if that ended our friendship.
Far from it. And when i want to feel better living among the cis, I call him, we pray together, we share our deep feelings, and we laugh about his moobs and my t-ts. The friendship is deeper, and he finally understood, getting that it is a birth anomoly. He is a normy, one born without these challenges, yet just as deeply challenged in the daily walk he faces.
There are other AA friends not as close, but i can tell them most anything now.
And my transgender friends? So very close. So very special, my dear ones, you know who you are, and my eyes are suddenly full of tears of gratitude for having you part of my life.
Quote from: Mark3 on November 09, 2014, 11:42:19 PM
I liked the topic about whether you're comfortable with same birth gender people in you life, but I wanted to post broader than that, and ask:
Do you have many CIS friends outside of your family that you're close to, that are you're trusted friends, that you share everything with.?
Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts or experiences..
I don't have many close friends, but the ones I have are cis. The transwomen I've wanted to be friends with seem to keep their distance.
One of the things that alienates me about having to be male is that (with exceptions, I suppose) men aren't supposed to actually be close friends, only pretend-close, in the sense that they're supposed to bond over their adherence to male stereotypes. Just about every time I've tried to share anything about myself that doesn't fit in with the ISO male standard, I've gotten slapped down (or had it pointedly ignored.)
It's a little better with women, but there's always a distance, I assume because they don't want to give me any occasion to hit on them or expect anything sexual from them. (Sort of the way I'm on guard with anyone who asks me anything on the streets of NYC. There, it's "hitting me up" rather than "hitting on me.")
i prefer to only keep good close friends. as such i dont actually have very many people i consider to truely be friends. but quite a few that i am friendly towards.
id say i currently sit at 3 or 4 that i am close friends with and talk to on a regular basis, and only 1 of them is within 1500 miles (used to be 2 but. some women don't really seem to want to be close friends with a "guy" from what i learned a couple months ago)
No, I keep most friends at a distance, just the way I've dealt with things all my life and I never share everything with anyone. No need to make them nuts too.
Well, I dont have any trans friends (not that I know any trans people :D), so my friends are cis only. But honestly with friends You do not need many, because (my humble opinion), if You have tons of friends then they are actually more like acquaintances. Friends need to be just a few, but those are closest and most trusted ones :).
This seems like a strange question, how people interact with their gender has very little baring on whether we'll be friends (and to be truthful I am suspicious of anyone who wears being trans as a badge, I tend to think that's the only interesting thing about them).
I get bored easily see.
It's more important to me that I feel a connection to a person, and if I do I can and do open up. I have a high degree of empathy, almost too much at times, and trust on instinct. I'm not usually wrong which is why it hurts when I am. Some of the people closest to me are trans, but I only knew after we became close, but many if my best friends aren't.
yes, i have one cis friend, and i share everything with her. she's so nice :D
Well, in some other forums here there have been some very negative topics made about CIS gender people, some seemed almost to the point of phobia or hate.. I for one, was just curious how we felt as a group.?
Its awesome to read such positive comments..
My friends in real life are awesome, yet superficial.. I can have dinner at they're house anytime, but we don't talk about very deep personal things.
I guess I honestly only have one close CIS friend, actually, she's my best friend in the world right now. Her name is Lindsay, she lives 3-4 states away, and we chat for hours sometimes about things.. The way I know who my best friend(s) is, is that its as comfortable being with them, as being alone. Ya know what I mean??
I don't have any close friends who are non binary.? I'd like to, but just never have bonded with anyone. I think its important to me to be able to talk about personal stuff with someone who's hopefully experiencing the same things.???
I adore more than I can say two friends I met here though, Jess42 and Suzanne..
So that's me, for what its worth.?
Quote from: LordKAT on November 10, 2014, 12:03:37 AM
Nope, but no trans friends in that description either.
I'm hurt, I thought we were friends Ken! :'(
Quote from: Mark3 on November 10, 2014, 12:46:40 PM
Well, in some other forums here there have been some very negative topics made about CIS gender people, some seemed almost to the point of phobia or hate.. I for one, was just curious how we felt as a group.
Given what many people endure at the hands of cis folk, a certain mistrust is to be expected.
I've narrowed my cis male friends down to just a few, the rest are no longer around or are just acquaintances. Then there is my Bro-in-law and his SO, two GQ gay guys that I love who are most trustworthy. I have several cis female friends that I trust, of course my SO and some of her friends then my hair stylist, she knows all about me and we are close. Generally I don't put a lot of personal information out there for the gossips, you'd think a hair stylist would cover those bases for me anyway. :D Then there's my newest TG friend Julie, I expect we will become long term friends, she is a real keeper!
I agree about Julie..! She's a peach.!! <3
Oh, and you're not bad yourself Shanny..!!!
Sorry I didn't add you above.. :)
I have lots of friends, both cis and trans. Good people are just that, and I tend to surround myself with them.
I basically purged all of the a*holes from my life, but I did it without burning any bridges. If any of them ever come across a rectocranial extractor tool, they can come back.
Quote from: Mark3 on November 10, 2014, 03:03:01 PM
I agree about Julie..! She's a peach.!! <3
Oh, and you're not bad yourself Shanny..!!!
Sorry I didn't add you above.. :)
:D :laugh:
Many people I value, but they are more of acquaintance or they are friends but not what I would call close friends. I keep my most personal things to myself.
i share different things with different friends. got most of my issues covered, but only one or two by the same friend.
it works pretty well, but it would be nice to have someone who just knows me, without anything having to even be said or talked about.
there are a couple who are close to that, and it's both nice and frustrating.
I've got a couple of close friends, and my boyfriend, who is as cis as cis can be. :)
I know cis people who probably would be understanding of my situation, but I choose not to tell them. I guess I just don't want to find out if they would reject me.
Hm, so I guess my answer is ultimately no.
EDIT: Nix that. I know one other cis person who has similar feelings that I do and would listen to what I tell her. I just lost touch with her.