I'll start by saying that I didn't so much come out, as I was fount out. From many of the stories on this site I was scarred that coming out to my wife would destroy my family (the most important thing in my life). Here is what happened:
My wife found some of my girl jewelry and her first reaction was "Are you cheating on me?" (not an unreasonable reaction for finding women's jewelry that isn't her's). Well anyway I put the jewelry on and told her about my "hobby". She was understandably confused, but not really upset. I think she was relieved that there was another explanation besides infidelity. I was relieved that she didn't explode with rage at me.
Anyway, to make a long story short, after the initial phase of confusion and curiosity, she has come to accept it about me and in some ways it has brought us closer together because it has opened a whole new side to our relationship that we can explore. (Did I mention my wife is an awesome woman).
There are only three rules that we agreed on (which are basically things I decided for myself when I accepted my transgendered nature).
1. I'm not allowed to fully transition. I promised to be her husband, and I still need to be able to fill that role when necessary.
2. My son is not going to be associated with my gender dysphoria issues. I am still his father and need to remain so.
3. I am not allowed to let this break up our family.
My wife even jokes that she now has a "girlfriend" and a husband rolled into one. And she even said that she thinks I look prettier as a woman than I look as a man <blush>.
J.