So, yea......
I told my friend a few weeks ago about a trans boy named Nick because she said she knew trans people in her grade and she said she knew that Nick was trans. Weeks later, yesterday in fact, I get a text from each of them saying "hey, you remember Nick
" and "Why the f*** did you tell her I'm trans!?"
I didn't understand, so I asked the girl, "i thought you said you already knew!?"
And she responded "You shouldn't be outing people"
I was DONE
I said goodbye to them and refused to talk to them today, and probably until the new school year.
Not only that, people on this forum misunderstand me ALL the time.
Whatever, I'm just to here to say I'm seriously thinking abour deleting all my posts and giving up on all trans* people besides myself.Not only that, I refuse to attend the LGBT club at my school because they laughed at me when I outted myself to them.
I wanted to start an organization to HELP transexuals but I feel people just don't deserve it.
I'm sorry guys, if you want to ban me or something I kinda understand.
I think all of us misread things, especially online and in messages that aren't perfectly clear. I wouldn't cut out all contact with other trans people though, I tried it, but kept coming back. Just remember, we've all had problems with others and we can be sensitive about some things.
From my experience is that I have something in common with trans* people: I am/was trans. But that's about it. I found out that every trans* has a different story, and no one seems to experience it the same way. That is what I found to be disappointing in meeting trans* folks in real life.
Don't cut off the nose to spite the face. :)
Quote from: SilentRain on November 11, 2014, 06:50:40 PM
So, yea......
I told my friend a few weeks ago about a trans boy named Nick because she said she knew trans people in her grade and she said she knew that Nick was trans. Weeks later, yesterday in fact, I get a text from each of them saying "hey, you remember Nick
" and "Why the f*** did you tell her I'm trans!?"
I didn't understand, so I asked the girl, "i thought you said you already knew!?"
And she responded "You shouldn't be outing people"
I was DONE
I said goodbye to them and refused to talk to them today, and probably until the new school year.
Not only that, people on this forum misunderstand me ALL the time.
Whatever, I'm just to here to say I'm seriously thinking abour deleting all my posts and giving up on all trans* people besides myself.Not only that, I refuse to attend the LGBT club at my school because they laughed at me when I outted myself to them.
I wanted to start an organization to HELP transexuals but I feel people just don't deserve it.
I'm sorry guys, if you want to ban me or something I kinda understand.
Honestly I don't talk to other trans people either. I know a few acquaintance wise but I don't really consider them friends or like them because they have this certain way they act that annoys the crap out of me :p
Sounds like an ugly misunderstanding went down. Don't give up on all trans people because of something like that. You'll get past it and find trans people who'll understand and support you.
There are sucky people in every demographic.
If you know you haven't done anything wrong then don't sweat it. That support group sounds like a bunch of dicks though. If that seriously happened I would complain to whatever teacher is related to the organisation of it, or failing there being one an important teacher at your school, cause that aint cool.
Silent Rain,
People try to get information and use unethical means to obtain it. Sorry you experienced this because it can really damage friendships. Perhaps an apology could help to make it better for the offended person.
There are a lot of different cultures and age groups represented on Susan's. I am surprised there are not more misunderstandings. You may want to cut yourself some slack, we are family.
The student group needs some serious teacher interaction. Laughing at another person in a safe and supportive environment is just wrong.
I remember back when I first started interacting with other trans people. I assumed they all felt the same as me. That they all experienced and understood what I was going through. To some degree, they do, but I found out we're a community of very unique perspectives on gender and experiences with dysphoria. Just like any other group of people, we're all different. And yes, some are jerks. But there are TONS of awesome trans people, too. Don't give up on an entire group just because of some bad apples, sweetie. I know it's tempting when you've had nothing but bad experiences, but stick around. If you cut us out of your life now, there's so much good you'll miss out on. And eventually you'll find someone who shares a similar journey, and that feels pretty amazing when you do. Support of those who know what you're going through is a very powerful thing. And please don't give up on your desire to help others, sis.
*gives you a warm hug*
I think you're painting all trans people with a broad brush, just from a few bad experiences you've had..?
I don't know about the boyfriend thing, but as far as being misunderstood here, it happens to all of us, I've felt the same way before..
Maybe just sleep on things, and understand there are a ton of people here from all ages and backgrounds, all with different stories and ways of thinking,
so it's natural for you to feel that way, but it's just that everyone is different..
I hope you'll stay..
I think a good balance is neither seeking out nor deliberately ignoring other trans people. Everyone's story is so unique that we often have remarkably little in common - I've found that being trans really isn't enough of a glue to bind together a friendship, and there's many trans people who I just don't particularly enjoy being around (just like there's plenty of cis people who I don't particularly enjoy being around.)
I'm not one to make being trans my whole identity. (I personally think it's far easier for people to deal with if I approach it with a "yeah, I used to be a guy, no big deal, let's get on with something else" attitude, rather than making my whole life revolve around the transgender world and having trans friends and attending groups and reading only trans books etc.) This site is about as much of a connection with the trans community as I can put up with, to be honest. Shutting onesself off completely would be far too lonely; while we often have little in common, there are some shared experiences that offer support and shoulders to cry on once in a while, and it's a safe place to complain and let out some anger too. So please, SilentRain, even if you do withdraw from the trans community in the real world, stay here on Susan's; it's a perfect balance.
I have to say you literally just described a typical school drama issue but with trans being the topic...
We all were in school once we know the drama of being a teen, it gets better... seriously it does. Why not just do what I always do and take a break from the community for a few months. I have been here since 2010, I was 16 then and I fought with all the major community members back then which lead me to deleted my first account with over 1k (I made a topic that got over 200 posts and got everyone so emotional it was amazing :D but back to topic).
Anyways leave the community but don't deleted your account as one day when you want SRS ffs etc this is the best place for doctor advice at least. No one here is forcing you to get support from this community it is your choice to leave this behind but never say everyone misunderstands me that just screams drama queen :P, I have never ever responded to you before :o so how could I have misunderstood you already.
It definately sounds like a learning experience Silent Rain. Next time you will know. We all have two things in common 1 is we are trans 2 is that we are normal human beings and just as unique as anyone else. Best thing is just treat trans poeple like anyone else. Not because they're trans but because they are people.
Like I said, a learning experience. Next time you know if someone says something like that just play dumb even if you know for sure.
Oh you're in highschool? Theres your problem right there. Drama filled factories producing mass quantities of unnecessary verbal torture. Lose the sociopathic "friends" and you're life will be a little bit better.
To me, other trans people are just regular people in the end which happen to sorta know what you go/went through nothing more. And as just as you can hate or adore a non-trans person the same thing goes for trans people. :)
Also that 'support' group is kinda sad if it can't accomplish what it was intended for, it's like a soccer club with no soccer involved :(
Thank you guys for all the amazing support! Here's what I plan on doing:
1. Apologize to my trans friend for outing him without realizing it.
2. NEVER think that because some people are trans* they will be superior in generosity.
3. Understand highschool is full of drama and this was one of them.
Regarding Susans, I will take some time to myself byt also try to help others.
4. After transition, I will live in a castle until the end of my days.
6. Don't skip 5 again.
Okie, I'll work on my stuff now, thaks guys!
You are sooooooo sweet!
Pikachu: Omg you called me a sister omg!
I was going to say to everyone else everything, but I forgot everything I was goong to say. :/
Don't take it as me being rude, please don't.
Thanks guys (and gals)! I appreciate it!
Hehe~ Yeah, I tend to see everyone here as a sort-of family, so you're my adorable little sister. :)
So glad you're feeling better, sweetie. *hugs*
Quote from: Pikachu on November 12, 2014, 05:34:41 PM
Hehe~ Yeah, I tend to see everyone here as a sort-of family, so you're my adorable little sister. :)
So glad you're feeling better, sweetie. *hugs*
OMG OMG OMG THIS IS SO AWESOME I SAY THAT TO MY TWIN ALL THE TIME!!!
Sis,
We will try to help because that's what family does. However, we aren't perfect so don't get to serious if one of us says something a little off or short.
Hugs,
Jen
Hey, we all make mistakes, and we learn from them. Don't beat yourself up. Your response sounds perfect.
Now let me check my 'the mistakes I have made today diary' Mmm pretty full already.
Quote from: Cindy on November 13, 2014, 12:39:19 AM
Hey, we all make mistakes, and we learn from them. Don't beat yourself up. Your response sounds perfect.
Now let me check my 'the mistakes I have made today diary' Mmm pretty full already.
You ain't lyin'.
Quote from: SilentRain on November 12, 2014, 05:31:15 PM
Thank you guys for all the amazing support! Here's what I plan on doing:
1. Apologize to my trans friend for outing him without realizing it.
2. NEVER think that because some people are trans* they will be superior in generosity.
3. Understand highschool is full of drama and this was one of them.
Regarding Susans, I will take some time to myself byt also try to help others.
4. After transition, I will live in a castle until the end of my days.
6. Don't skip 5 again.
Oh the good ole days of being young and having dreams. Before life punches you in the boobs. ;)
But that sounds like a good plan to try to rectify the situation.
Quote from: Cindy on November 13, 2014, 12:39:19 AM
Hey, we all make mistakes, and we learn from them. Don't beat yourself up. Your response sounds perfect.
Now let me check my 'the mistakes I have made today diary' Mmm pretty full already.
I have never made a mistake, I made learning experiences.
You know we are all just humans and I have made more than my fair share of mistakes or Uh Ohs. But one thing I can honestly say is that I have never outed anyone. Sort of like the earlier advice I gave earlier, if someone came up talking about someone being lesbain, gay or trans in the school that I went to, I just played ignorant to the fact and let them talk, of course I knew though. Everyone knew each other in the LGBT spectrum. It was a pretty small group.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 13, 2014, 02:46:18 PM
life gives us the exam before the lesson
and we must learn the lesson
or
we'll have to repeat it...
Yep, that sounds like me. I've yet to learn my lesson so I keep on making mistakes and wrong choices. But some of us have really hard heads. ;D That's me.
When I first began, I thot.. hey, there are quite a few other transgirls around here, and in Group, and (etc) so we're all trans and we are going thru the same thing, right?
I realized, the only thing we are ALL going thru, is pain, and torment, and anguish and fear and excitement.. everyone has different levels of it, some, its raised to an order of Magnitude.. it's like football fans... they are all fans, but they have levels of crazy that others can not understand...
Biggest lesson, never assume transgirls and transguys, know each other.. I have about 18 trans friends.. few know each other, and I -never- tell one about another. If I think someone might benefit from knowing another, I will ask one, without -ever- mentioning any names, if they would like to meet/get to know others.. i will never, ever, confirm or verify someone with someone else.
What that person did, was the oldest trick in the Police interrogation book..
"Yeah, Mugsy, we know ya did it, One-Thumb Lousie tol' us.. we jus' let him go fer rattin' on ya.. now jus' 'fess up an' it'll go easier on ya!"
..... "dat dirty rat.. bu' I dint do it alone, see, it was Lousie, he's da one dat did th' job! I was jus' drivin', see..."
case, closed...
Quote from: Hanazono on November 13, 2014, 02:46:18 PM
life gives us the exam before the lesson
and we must learn the lesson
or
we'll have to repeat it...
Please do not reply to this topic again or I will lock this topic. I already reported you for your rudeness. This is about me, not a chat forum.
As for the other people, who were not rude, thank you for your nice comments, some of your comments made my day.
Quote from: SilentRain on November 14, 2014, 08:19:16 PM
Please do not reply to this topic again or I will lock this topic. I already reported you for your rudeness. This is about me, not a chat forum.
As for the other people, who were not rude, thank you for your nice comments, some of your comments made my day.
Really SilentRain? This is all about you and it is and we are trying to help. I thought Hanazono was right in the lesson and learning department. Much like myself. I haven't learned my lesson yet so I am destined to repeat the circumstances.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 13, 2014, 02:46:18 PM
life gives us the exam before the lesson
and we must learn the lesson
or
we'll have to repeat it...
Sorry hon, but that is life. C'est la vie.
Sometimes we are tested before the lessons are given. I am so sorry if that is insulting or hurt your feelings but after 47 years that is my experiences and probably many other's too.
Quote from: Jess42 on November 14, 2014, 11:56:19 PM
Really SilentRain? This is all about you and it is and we are trying to help. I thought Hanazono was right in the lesson and learning department. Much like myself. I haven't learned my lesson yet so I am destined to repeat the circumstances.
Sorry hon, but that is life. C'est la vie.
Sometimes we are tested before the lessons are given. I am so sorry if that is insulting or hurt your feelings but after 47 years that is my experiences and probably many other's too.
It is not about her saying it is a lesson learned, it's her saying I'm a kid and all I did was wrong.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 12, 2014, 09:52:46 PM
I'll give it to you straight, kid.
What you did was wrong
Let this be a good lesson for you, really. I'm glad the steps you outlined to rectify this situation, show your maturity.
The Chinese have a saying: "Consider thrice before taking action. "
This topic shall now be locked.