Ok, so this is sort of a "can I please" combined with a "What/when did you"?
I've been playing around with several aspects of being FtM trans and can't get them off my mind, so I want to post and see what people think and maybe get some advice or comparison.
First, name. I settled on a name earlier this week. I wanted to stay close to my original name because really, I'm not adverse to is as a name, it's just feminine and not masculine. So change Lori Theresa (I actually had trouble writing that...) for Lorenz Theodor. I really like it, and wonder what you all think? (also, no matter what you think... can ya use Lorenz please?) I'm happy to hear all comers, just reasons would be awesome.
Second, When and where did you start asking people to use the opposite pronouns? Was it a gradual thing or did you start blurting it all the time? I only have one good friend who knows and she even asked what I'd prefer.
Well I still haven't figured stuff out and "decided" whether I'm FtM or not, but I've had a couple of my friends ask me whether I'd like them to refer to me as a guy when I told them I'd noticed that female pronouns seem to bother me, and my answer about two weeks ago was "well, I don't know, I don't think so, not yet at least." Still not sure, but sometimes I feel like I just want to try it out with a few of my friends and see how I feel about it. Just to experiment with it I suppose.
As for the name, Lorenz is cool :). Makes me think of physics and special relativity.. but maybe that's just because I'm supposed to be doing my homework right now. I don't even know if I want to change my name, I like it and it isn't really feminine, but it's still a female name (was actually male name in the long gone past, makes me like it even more xD) so maybe I should..
Lorenz! I like it, no correct that I love it. :laugh:
Then again my whole family have people named as the abrivated versions of names, gender neutral names, surnames, letters and islands, and if one was a girl he would of been named Rose Thorn :P. So anything that is against the English sounding norm I love
In answer to your second question Lorenz. Female friends of mine pretty much started using female pronouns once I started seeing the psych to get approval for hormones. This was is regardless how I present, this shocked me but I loved it.
Male friends well while they are accepting but they either don't gender me at all and just call me by name, (bearable) yet when I say "the girl has skill" when bowling or something similar they don't comment. Or worse still use male pronouns (bad and soon just might be dangerous) no matter what. Soon it is going to be time for a very serious heart-to-hockey stick conversation with them.
Pronouns in my opinion really come down to what you feel comfortable with, how you identify yourself and when you're ready. Some people do need more patience then others thou sadly.
I've given very gentle nudges to my parents about pronouns. For me, getting my name right is much more important, and they've done pretty well with that.
I'm really very lax about pronouns in general. I understand that it's tough for people who haven't been educated in trans issues to really know the affect that this has, and I've just gotten to a point where I refuse to let it bother me. I know I'm a guy. Despite referring to me as 'she', they treat me as a guy and use my male name. As long as it isn't done in an outwardly disrespectful way, I'll let it slide until I'm much further along in my physical transition.