What would you say if you had a chance to go back and speak to yourself when you were nine or 10 years old? Knowing what you know now. For myself, knowing what I know now, I believe I would encourage my younger self to be myself be who you are not what you are and to search out happiness, I would've told him that things would turn out okay. I would've told him there are good people in this world that care about you. I would tell him he is good enough, he is worth it. And I would tell him that I love him. What would you say?
Hugs,
Melissa Ann
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 13, 2014, 03:32:24 PM
What would you say?
Exactly what you did, but I would bring a baseball bat in case I didn't listen! ;D
Serious though, I would mess him up and drag his unconscious carcass to the Endo. :)
I would have told her that she's going to go through a lot of hard times but that she's strong enough to get through them, even if she thinks she's not. I'd tell her that mom would be hard on her but in the end she would surprise her. I'd tell her not to argue with mom so much because she loves you no matter what. I'd tell her to work hard in school and don't let your friends get you down.
I'd tell myself the lottery numbers for the next forty years...
But seriously I don't think I'd talk about trans issues at all, I was 8-9 in 1974-75 what good would telling myself anything do then? Besides it wasn't that I wanted to be a girl all that badly, I just hated being a boy and hated being lumped in with them. I guess I'd just say don't pay attention to what people think about you. Most of them are judgemental idiots anyway.
*steps in front of younger self, with that evil smile on my face and bat in hand :icon_bat: >:-)*
"Yes gypsy dear I'm you. Now listen, they KNEW! Save yourself the pain and hassle. So we can do this our way, or the boring way. BUT you are going to the doctors right NOW. Even if I have to carry you unconscious body. So how do you want to do this"
If my younger self choose the boring way I would of replied.
"Good girl ;D"
I would explain why I feel the way I do, and tell myself to not be afraid. Follow your heart and everything will work out fine.
I would have told myself that I was ok and things get better
That´s easy for me to answer.
Don´t try to live up to your fathers expectations, you won´t succeed, a better life awaits you.
Then again perhaps i would not tell myself anything. i believe that some things happen to me
for a reason, that i need to go through difficulty in order to grow.
No pain no gain as they say.
I would tell my younger self, when I tried to tell Mom/Dad when I was 12, I would have pushed harder for them to really listen...
oh, and buy Google, Microsoft, and Intel, as soon as I read those names :P
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 13, 2014, 03:32:24 PM
What would you say if you had a chance to go back and speak to yourself when you were nine or 10 years old?
Interesting question Melissa Ann. I've often pondered what I would do with my current knowledge if I was 10 or just before puberty. I had many opportunities to actually do something in my life about this but always chickened out. Would I say be brave and go for it?
The thing is I have two lovely children. If I had transitioned early in my life, I would never have had children with my wife, I just can't imagine that. Perhaps I would suggest transitioning as soon as my children were born.
Paige :)
I probably wouldn't say anything of that sort. I'd probably just go back and play pretend with myself.
Slap myself in the face and tell her to be strong for whats about to come.
Not sure what I would tell myself.
I mean I would have loved to have transitioned earlier but then I wouldn't have my kids, and I absolutely love my kids.
If anything I would have told myself to choose medicine as a career. I certainly had/have the smarts for it, I just chose engineering because I thought it was fun. But as time went on, I wanted more out of life, and I wanted to improve life for people. What I do right now I feel is not really doing much... I mean I work in the media and we keep the Government and evildoers in check (supposedly) and bring people entertainment but I feel it's not important as saving lives and improving health.
You're in for a rough ride, but it will all be ok because you're incredibly bad@$$.
carefull about taking that baseball bat to your younger self. dont want to break something you might still need now. :P
i honestly dont know if i could tell my younger self anything. depends on how you view the outcome... would telling my younger self change something happening right now?
when i was younger i was smart, but lacked certain knowledge. alot of the things that i went through, made me who i am. while it took me alot longer to figure out why things happened the way they did i think they all happened for a reason. think id tell my younger self... fail all your classes in 8th grade instead of 9th grade to get kicked out of homeschool so it doesnt show up on your transcript the rest of your life. but... perhaps i wouldnt have met my first girlfriend, tried to masculinize myself, joined the military. perhaps i wouldnt have discovered where my hate for myself came from. or discovered the meaning behind what i was thinking.
sure you could just tell your younger self... this is what you are! ! ! but your younger self may have no ~beep~ing clue what the hell your talking about.
so id have to say something simple. :) "dont worry about the bad thing so much. everything will works itself out in the end. there will be alot of ups and downs but you will make it to discovering who and what you are eventually..."
..
"now to run along to your mommy and tell her how badly you want to be, and how much you dream of being a girl" :P
Idk how I could address this whole issue to a 9 year old me... I'd try to make it not painful but hopeful and informative. Tell myself this is how I look so far in my 20's and that I was gonna be OK :) I'd tell myself to talk to my psychologist and my mom about this issue and not give up, be persistent. Tell myself everything was gonna happen and lead to this point. I'm pretty sure that, once little me knew about everything, she'd not suffer nearly as much and I'd want to make her feel secure about her future self :) also I'd tell my little self to never beat myself up because we were strong enough to deal with everything and that I'd get where I wanted :)
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 13, 2014, 03:32:24 PM
What would you say if you had a chance to go back and speak to yourself when you were nine or 10 years old? Knowing what you know now. For myself, knowing what I know now, I believe I would encourage my younger self to be myself be who you are not what you are and to search out happiness, I would've told him that things would turn out okay. I would've told him there are good people in this world that care about you. I would tell him he is good enough, he is worth it. And I would tell him that I love him. What would you say?
Hugs,
Melissa Ann
Invest heavily in Microsoft. Start a social media web page and call it face book. Create an online auction site and call it eBay.
Man up and tell your counselor while in high school that you want to be a girl instead of beating around the bush and using drugs and alcohol to hide the truth from yourself.
I would say 'you are female' I think just those three words would be enough, I'd always felt genderless from birth (from as far as I can remember) until earlier this year
Knowing myself well enough I strongly doubt I had listened to anything at my 9th xD. If it could be around my 14th I would just give a hug and say everything will be fine, not too worry too much about what is right or wrong and that everything will be fine.
Back in the 1960's it wouldn't matter. In fact, the outcome might have been FAR from ideal in those dark days. By the time 1978 came along and I was out of uni maybe... But even then when I twice experimented with transitioning it is hard to say what to say beyond "Work on your self-esteem kid" "Loose the shame" "Stop drinking like a fish"
Between a somewhat dysfunctional family, the pressures being a second generation immigrant kid in a blue collar town of other mainly Eastern European immigrants with either a church, bank, or bar on every street corner so much was far out of my control.
Oof. Honestly, I'd tell him to sit down and shut up. To learn a little faster how to close his damn mouth, because ain't no one on god's green earth that's impressed with his Precocious TV Child bs. Adults don't think you're cute, kiddo. Adults want to run your hyperlingual little butt through the pasta maker. Not that I blame 'em. I was born annoying. :D
But I'd also tell him to feel less guilty about all those stories he loved so dearly, the ones with women/girls living as men. Sure, they all did it because of female oppression and he just kind of ... wanted it ... but of all the many things that made him selfish, this wasn't the thing to fixate one. Then I'd tell him that his dog shirt was wicked.
Oh, and reading Joanne's post reminded me: I'd tell him to embrace his first generation life! He was gonna like those little thing that made his family different once he was in college.
..."Don't join the army"
I grew up in very dark times for transgenders. Did you ever see the movie ' One flew over the cuckoo's nest '.
When I was that age, had a great deal of Faith. I still do; maybe even more so.
I would simply tell my self to keep the Faith. All will be as it should be. Oh. And BTW, this was the mid 1950's.
I would say to be true to yourself and not care so much about what other people think or how they would react (although I don't think this would have sunk in until a few years later). Also that simply getting good grades is not enough, learn how to learn and challenge yourself.
You aren't the only person in the world with these thoughts, hopes, or desires, and you're not a horrible person for having them.
Your day is gonna come. Until then, it's okay to be afraid. Things get better, and one day you'll look back at all this and you'll smile and say "I made it".
I would also add, as an afterthought, to lay off the junk food because I'm still working that off, and to stop thinking that the world owes you. The only person in the world that owes you anything is you.
Interesting question.
I'm not sure if I should post this but I'm in a place at the moment that I think I want to.
I was born in the 50's. Being homosexual meant you were locked up in a male prison. Trans* was a myth. "Sex change" was published in lurid newspapers. Doctors and parents had not a clue. Loneliness and fear was life.
What would I tell Cindy from my journey?
Don't do drugs, don't give up, never accept lifts from strangers, don't trust men who say they love you.
Never say never; never give up, never fall into despair. Keep telling her that she is the strongest woman that ever existed and by sheer force of will she can overcome anything.
Tell her that happiness is not a myth, that life does change.
That when she has reached the bottom of despair, when her life is so awful that she can't even kill herself, crawling through the gutters is still moving forward.
Tell her; yes, your name is Cindy.
Be proud young lady.
I might take this down :(
If I knew what I would have to endure from the age of 9 to now I would have wanted to die in the accident that year. I came so close.
Truly horrible things have faced me every 5 years or so of my life. It has been dreadful to say the least.
Deaths, abuse, grave sickness, betrayal, life changing trauma and the list goes on and on. :'(
Life has not been fun.
Cindy, no shame so don't feel the need to take it down, they were very good words. :icon_hug:
Make them listen, face your fears and do not be ashamed.
I do not think I would have had my addictions if I was able to face my fears then. Then again there were other issues when I was younger that may have had me self medicating.
I have wondered many times how my life would have turned out, what I would have looked like would I have had friends, would I have been happy, and would I have found love.
Don't try to fight it,you will be a girl sooner or later.The longer you leave it the harder it will be.No need to be a brat with a bad attitude because you will fool no one and they saw right through you,try harder at school and get some better exam results.Don't take the first crap job you see just so you have enough for gas,drugs and booze.Spend more time with your parents as one day they won't be there.Buy that 69 Plymouth Roadrunner for £1500 because today a rough one will cost 10 times as much!
Quote from: Cindy on November 30, 2014, 02:38:23 AM
Interesting question.
I'm not sure if I should post this but I'm in a place at the moment that I think I want to.
I was born in the 50's. Being homosexual meant you were locked up in a male prison. Trans* was a myth. "Sex change" was published in lurid newspapers. Doctors and parents had not a clue. Loneliness and fear was life.
What would I tell Cindy from my journey?
Don't do drugs, don't give up, never accept lifts from strangers, don't trust men who say they love you.
Never say never; never give up, never fall into despair. Keep telling her that she is the strongest woman that ever existed and by sheer force of will she can overcome anything.
Tell her that happiness is not a myth, that life does change.
That when she has reached the bottom of despair, when her life is so awful that she can't even kill herself, crawling through the gutters is still moving forward.
Tell her; yes, your name is Cindy.
Be proud young lady.
I might take this down :(
Why would you take this down? This is your history. This how you got to where you are now. This was your journey. Own it.
DON'T listen to your mom no matter what is what I'd have told myself. ->-bleeped-<-, I wish time travel did exist. :-\ I would also have trsnsitioned in my early 20s when I had a real chance, instead of being heavy in denial and trying to fight myself.
Take the annoying brat I was on my lap, slap him and tell him to listen and then hug 'him' tightly.
And tell him to allow yourself to be different. That I don't know how things will go work out,but pressure the fact that life will give him a ton of lessons in self-acceptance..., and that he's an adorable girl.
To then vannish :D
"You're not a girl. Skip the whole girly phase in an attempt to fit in. Tell your parents you don't feel like a girl so that they take you seriously later; don't keep it a secret. I know it sucks that you weren't just born a boy, but modern technology can turn you into one. I also know that it's scary, but get a head start; stop trying to be girly to make people happy. Stop posing as a boy on the internet and daydreaming about being a boy and start actually being one."
I'm sure that would have been enough for 12 or 13 year old me, and it would've helped a lot with where I am now.
I wouldn't only talk about being trans, though. I would also talk a lot about emotions and belief systems and making it through high school and all of that.
I would have definitely told the 10-year-old (=5th grade) me to get out of that @#$% private school. Do whatever it takes, and don't listen to anything the adults say. Because the supposed "educational advantages" are just BS, but the damage it's going to do to you is real. And permanent.
As for the rest: I would want to take the 10-year-old me in my arms and tell him, "you're all right, it's everyone else who is wrong." But it might have just made it harder to hang in there for the 5 or so years until my life turned from hell into mere agony. And if the 10-year-old me had repeated it to the adults around me, because I never could keep my mouth shut, they would probably have made me suffer even more than they already were doing. The result might have been that I would have actually put my suicidal fantasies into practice.
There are days, even now, when I think that might have been better for all concerned.