I showered this morning and once again looked in the mirror...
I saw a woman, a figure that is becoming more feminine daily (breasts, waist, hips, clear soft hairless flesh), so what was wrong...?
I saw a male head (despite facial changes and finer eyebrows, faded facial hair shadowing) and a male organ! Devastated (again) I felt disappointed in myself and my ability to take that next step, magic, religion and myself have all let me down again :'(
Once again a "wannabe" female
So just, as I was thinking about this today, I decided to see how others see themselves when they look in the mirror, naked and just showered! Probably aimed more at those that have not fully transgendered, for whatever reason.
L Katy
I'm lucky in that my bathroom mirror doesn't show below my belly button because of a rather high bench top :p
So I don't have to worry about 'it' in my reflection :D
Honestly I'm starting to like how I look :D
Body hair though *Shudder*
I saw me. And I am awesome!!! ;D
Dysphoria is something we all experience as members of the transgender community but to different degrees. It seems many trans people hate their genitalia so much the sight of it makes them depressed. Personally, I only dislike having it because it gets in the way. When I visually see it though, I don't get any sort of dysphoria. Anyways, that's off topic.
I see a guy when I look in the mirror but a woman's body as well with a penis. Maybe it can be classified as a rounded out chubbier female deposited male body? Not sure honestly. It makes me want to get my boobs done. & work out lol
Love it Grace...
TSJasmine... yup know where you are coming from... gets in the way :laugh:
L Katy
It took an hour but I found her...
A guy came into the office and said it smell nice. I hope it was me because i tried hard to be as fem as possible.
Im tired though.
Quote from: Wild Flower on November 18, 2014, 01:37:55 AM
It took an hour but I found her...
A guy came into the office and said it smell nice. I hope it was me because i tried hard to be as fem as possible.
Im tired though.
Haa love it :-*
I mostly see "her" now, even in the morning straight outta bed, as well as after having washed my hair. Having soaking wet hair used to be one of triggers cause it tended to frame my face differently and expose my sligthly receded hairline, but now it has smoothened out and I see her even with my hair pulled back.
Then, an odd lighting might fall here and there and I start to see some male-ish features and stress about them...
But mostly those are bewbs.. You cant go wrong when having them :D :D :D.
Quote from: katrinaw on November 18, 2014, 02:01:34 AM
Haa love it :-*
I still look like a guy. But I dont have to be as ugly as i really am.
Without makeup, in "snuggle Bunny" jammies and bed head I saw the ME I knew has been hidden for over 40 years! The feeling was indescribable. I have finally gotten there! :) :) :)
I don't really know, but I don't like it.
Hi Jessica, so happy for you .... Aiming for that day myself, not too far away I hope
L Katy
Quote from: katrinaw on November 18, 2014, 07:46:51 AM
Hi Jessica, so happy for you .... Aiming for that day myself, not too far away I hope
L Katy
To be honest it took into my 9th month of RLE to see me in the mirror. :)
Quote from: Jaime R D on November 18, 2014, 07:37:25 AM
I don't really know, but I don't like it.
Same some mornings, especially when I feel more sadder than others
L Katy
I keep seeing this rather strange woman who seems a bit flirty but is actually rather hot for such an old cow
She's always fussing about with her hair and touching up her lipstick and such and adjusting her outfit
Yesterday morning before she jumped in the shower she coloured her hair and waxed her armpits
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 18, 2014, 01:20:07 AM
I saw me. And I am awesome!!! ;D
I love it!
Over the past few weeks more and more when I look in the mirror I see ME. It doesn't matter what my presentation is, clothes, or naked, hair or none, full length or top (though panties do help), I simply see me and feel joy.
This is why I dont look in mirrors :x you look nice though. I will say that seeing so many before me come out on the other side has provided inspiration and hope. I focus on what I can do now to be able to see what will be in the future.
I am seeing more and more "woman" in the mirror now.
The wild thing is that I am NOT on HRT of any kind but I am taking small steps to transition such as skin care, electro and clothes until I get my endo/GP appointment in December.
Even my wife is seeing more and more of the real me, and to be honest she isn't too happy with it, but I am me and I can't pretend anymore.
Honestly...
I saw an indifferent guy,
wherein his eyes I saw another person
she was broken
and shattered like glass.
The regular morning for me I'm afraid. :-\
I saw somebody really sexy and went to hug but then I hit my head on the mirror. LOL...!
Quote from: Ms Grace on November 18, 2014, 01:20:07 AM
I saw me. And I am awesome!!! ;D
What Grace said! It's positivity like this that makes the world brighter. Love it 100 times over.
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 18, 2014, 10:13:27 AM
I saw somebody really sexy and went to hug but then I hit my head on the mirror. LOL...!
*giggle* We just HAVE to be related somehow!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Quote from: Jill F on November 18, 2014, 12:04:48 PM
You too? ;D
Sweetie, we just HAVE to get you some self esteem and confidence! ;D ;D ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdevilsfoe.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2Fmirror-flame.jpg&hash=c6d399a4469d8fca4c3db5c3bb27bb24d0c73327)
Do you mean before or after make-up? After make-up, a fabulous babe! Before make-up, a babe getting ready to be fabulous!
I could have sworn I saw a creature from the black lagoon this morning. But on second look it was just me.! I love the way I look these days. No matter how rough I appear in the mornings., I am woman and proud.
I need to learn makeup. My avatar without makeup has some "virtual" makeup via photoshop, and it genders F very well.
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 18, 2014, 10:13:27 AM
I saw somebody really sexy and went 8) to hug but then I hit my head on the mirror. LOL...!
That is sooo good, love it 8)
L Katy
Quote from: MelissaAnn on November 18, 2014, 10:13:27 AM
I saw somebody really sexy and went to hug but then I hit my head on the mirror. LOL...!
Gosh, life is sooo complicated :(. First, You hit Your head on the mirror... next, You will whack Your bewbs against doorframe :D.
<---- HER
Quote from: Luna Star on November 18, 2014, 04:30:25 PM
Looking great :D
Thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere! :-*
Quote from: ♡ Emily ♡ on November 18, 2014, 04:03:05 PM
Gosh, life is sooo complicated :(. First, You hit Your head on the mirror... next, You will whack Your bewbs against doorframe :D.
With my luck I'll slam the the door on my bewbs....! ::) ::) ::) ::)
Quote from: Jill F on November 18, 2014, 04:41:58 PM
Thank you. Flattery will get you everywhere! :-*
It's not flattery, it's the honest truth ;)
I saw someone that's for sure. Mostly a male unfortunately.
Myself, an amalgam of experience and change with some resemblance to my mother, my sisters and gratefully less of that man i once acted as.
Some moderately ditzy blonde bird called Rosie. She's an exasperating mix of intelligence, silliness and downright forgetfulness. It's just as well she has a brain and a charming way about her, she won't be winning Miss World anytime soon.
Rosie
I see a badass beautiful woman..Seeing myself naked is a whole different story since I'm pre-op. It feels really weird, basically my dysphoria comes back.
What I saw was somewhat confounding. Note I caught myself in the mirror after my shower.
Having recently gotten breast augmentation my face to my lovely new ladies looked great. I saw a thirty something woman with a nice smile, kind eyes and a bit more self esteem than I am used to. Her dreadlocks were needing of some tidying and could use a recolour but all in all she was pleasant to behold.
But then my eyes fell south.
Belly hair still needing removal, hairy legs still needing attention, and my dangly bits all came into focus and played hell on my dysphoria.
Thankfully these are all things I am doing something about.
Kami.
I am several posts away from being able to post pictures, but honestly everyone who has answered to this topic should be able to see a beautiful feminine presence in the mirror, because it is there. These days, I FEEL like a woman, but it is not until I put on make-up and a wig that I feel incredible. That is the best feeling in the world, like coming home after a long, long trip. One thing that I have been really happy about; I dreamed this week that I was Sheila Grace. In the dream I was talking with others and they were calling me Sheila. It seemed so natural. When I woke up, I thought about it and realized that at some level, at the deepest level I am seeing myself in these terms. What a good thing. Blessings, Sheila Grace
Well certainly seen some interesting responses and some very funnee ones... love'em :laugh:
I think we agree that we see who we are or want to be; for those of us, unfortunately still transitioning or without nice feminine hair, or with male organs dangling awkwardly, we have a mix of emotions but then again we take in what we see... like wow I'm nearly there, or wow looking better, or wish I had/could...
The main thing is that we see ourselves as women, in different stages of our lives and journey's.
Despite my negative thoughts when I look closely, I am becoming what I want to be, feeling wholly female (despite focusing on the issues) my skin condition is so much better than my age would suggest it should be, I have female form and love the fact that when I am me I look OK, I am commited now one way or another to follow through (just need to work out the detail :-\)... and, of course, as all us women say we could do with or improve with??? But maybe that's another thread >:-)
I just need to get over the coming out bit, so I can finally wake up and shower as fully me.... aahhhh
Love to all, Katy
I leave the light off so that I can't see in the mirror and avoid it at all costs during the day. The last time I really looked In the mirror I broke down and missed two days of work and cried for three days. I have a small six inch mirror that I use to shave so that I do not have to really see myself as I can turn it so that I only see what I need to see to shave.
Hi Davida, sorry didn't mean to raise sad thoughts...
I learnt many years ago to shave while under the shower, just under the nice warm ~ hot water.... I know my way around my face... had it for many years now (too many :-X)... so works well, really well, get a real smooth finish, just right for the moisturizers and other lovely preps I put on my face... don't use face makeup very much at all, just eyes and lips when I really want to glam up.
L Katy
It is ok, as I am still dealing with this issue in therapy and the more I talk about it the better I will be. I also shave in the shower but I still have a thin beard that I am slowly thin I g and making go away. Trying not to shock the family with just poof here I am like it or not. Every time
I make a change my wife and I argue and she gets really depressed because she says that she feels like a failure as she was not all the woman I needed. I can't get her to see that this is not about her, but she is bullheaded as am I. Well it what it is and I know that someday I will be me and nobody can stop that from happening.
Davida
I see my face I'm usually disappointed to see a guy again.
I saw Me. There I am, that silly girl who sings opera to her kittycat in the morning. Hair- fresh outta bed - check. Skin - looking good for a girl my age - check. Body - hmm, need to to do more ab exercises - check. Throw some clothes on, brush hair, rush out door and take car to mechanic. Ill shower when I get back- check. Thats what I see.
Having read some of the latest posts, I thought I'd say something that may or may not be somewhat off-topic. I have a trans friend who I see fairly often. We attend meetings of an LGBT group in a town not too far from me, and it just so happens that I'm on her way, so it's easy for her to collect me on the way up and drop me off on the way back.
Now I think she's the type who's just naturally insecure, but I know that when we first started attending these meetings, she was terrified. Especially when, at the end of the meeting, we'd all head for the local pub. She was extremely uneasy being out in the open world like that, partly because she didn't have a lot of experience at it.
But I noted that she badly under-rated herself. She looked and carried herself much better than she thought she did. She's the type that if you study her closely, you might have some questions about her. But given that people don't study each other closely like that, she's really fine. And I was constantly telling her that, and I was having a hard time getting her to listen to me.
One thing I told her about was the night we were in the pub when she got up to go to the loo. On her way back, I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye, but paid no attention to her since I was talking to somebody at the time. I didn't even recognize her because I didn't give her any thought. I just noted "a woman" and went on with my conversation. And that's the way people often see us: a glance our way and they carry on with what they're doing without even thinking about it. I'm trans and she's a close friend, and yet I was exactly the same way. It wasn't until she actually sat down beside me that I realized, "Oh, right, that was [my friend]!"
And I was also telling her something else just recently: I've noticed how much more relaxed she is in public now. Whether consciously or sub-consciously, I think she's realized that she actually looks a lot better than she thinks she does, and so she's much more at ease.
All of this is to say that what you see in the mirror isn't necessarily what is to be seen. Perceptions are subjective, and you may not be seeing yourself objectively. You might actually look a lot different to others than you do to your own prejudiced eye. I say prejudiced because you are prejudiced: you know you're trans so you're inclined to see things that other people, who don't know you're trans, won't see because they're not looking for those things. So give yourself a break, don't be too critical.
What people see is "a package". They see you as a whole, not as a collection of details. This is one reason I tell my friend not to worry about one thing that she's particularly worried about--her voice. True, it is a bit low, but I'm convinced that that alone won't give her away. It's not nearly as bad as she thinks it is. People will take it as a low female voice--the reason being that, as "a package", she comes across as very female.
So, what you see in your mirror may well not be the real story. It's hard to be objective about others, but it's equally hard to be objective about ourselves. We will see what we're trying to see. You're not just a face. You're "vibes". And those vibes will go a long way towards determining what people see in your face. At least, I myself am convinced of this. Maybe others disagree.
This tread actually inspired me to draw an art piece, might post it on here later when it is finished :)
when I looked in the mirror this morning I saw my new avatar and to tell you the truth I didn't hardly recognize the girl in the mirror! I've lost 50 pounds in the last 9 weeks, and after a little makeup am i close I can hardly even see my old self in me! makes me happy and sad at the same time! :) :( ??? :embarrassed:
My dog. Silly thing stood next of me while brushing my teeth so I thought of picking her up and making her take a good look at her furry self :D!
It had better have been me, I live alone. Dani
Foxglove, your post is very inspiring, It's certainly true that you are your own worst critic.
Thanks :-* Katy
Quote from: Kirey on November 21, 2014, 11:27:02 AM
My dog. Silly thing stood next of me while brushing my teeth so I thought of picking her up and making her take a good look at her furry self :D!
That's funny :laugh:
Katy
Quote from: Newgirl Dani on November 21, 2014, 03:25:41 PM
It had better have been me, I live alone. Dani
Well, you know, Dani, just yesterday I saw the film "Solaris" with George Clooney. Not a film I'd really recommend to anybody. I found it very average myself.
But it did get me worried. It turned out at the end of the film one guy wasn't really who you thought he was. He was actually "his double", so to speak.
I've always wondered about myself. Am I really me? Maybe I'm just a changeling. Maybe I'm a foundling my parents took in. It's hard to believe that somebody could really be like me. And now another question has arisen in my mind: maybe I'm just a double of the real me. In which case, who and where is the real me?
Not saying you should be worried. I'm most emphatically not trying to plant any seeds of doubt in your mind. A sweet little thing like me wouldn't be so wicked, now would I? I'm just saying what's gone on inside me all my life.
Quote from: Sheila Grace on November 18, 2014, 08:20:22 PM
I am several posts away from being able to post pictures, but honestly everyone who has answered to this topic should be able to see a beautiful feminine presence in the mirror, because it is there. These days, I FEEL like a woman, but it is not until I put on make-up and a wig that I feel incredible. That is the best feeling in the world, like coming home after a long, long trip. One thing that I have been really happy about; I dreamed this week that I was Sheila Grace. In the dream I was talking with others and they were calling me Sheila. It seemed so natural. When I woke up, I thought about it and realized that at some level, at the deepest level I am seeing myself in these terms. What a good thing. Blessings, Sheila Grace
Hi Sheila, Sorry to have missed your post :embarrassed:
I have been on HRT for well over 10 years... started late (late forties), still in married family life today, been trying to keep me hidden... about to make that all change.
However, I have used makeup in the past, but due to age and HRT I find my facial hair shadowing is not quite so prevalent now... and I ensure that selfies I take have some favourable angle and / or light... But I funnily now, I can be wandering around or dreaming in sleep etc. and picture myself with nicely styled hair, looking as I should be.... the pictures I take and maybe my drive now are impressing real "me" images into my mind... absolutely Luv it :eusa_dance:
Who I see after a shower first thing is a balding head, but a womanly figure and skin tones, even more so after I apply all my facial nourishments. Its not about not seeing the beautiful you, its about the final image not being there, from the very moment you get up...
Now when I spent time away in the Aussie snowfields this year, alone, I lived fully as a woman, woke up in the morning and there she was... was living in heaven.
So agreed :laugh:
Love Katy :-*
An Italian Peter Pan.
With the eyes of a woman.
Quote from: katrinaw on November 18, 2014, 01:10:55 AM
I decided to see how others see themselves when they look in the mirror, naked and just showered!
I tend to avoid my reflection.
Just saw myself, I do not really see a man of a woman I just see me o.o.
Quote from: Hanazono on November 26, 2014, 07:56:39 AM
I can't see anything in the mirror in the morning until I've had a cup of coffee. #Asian #eyes and not enough sleep...
I didnt know that happens. How did you manage to type?