Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Real-Life Experience => Topic started by: Judge Yourself on August 13, 2007, 04:35:32 AM

Title: Not really sure how to approach this...
Post by: Judge Yourself on August 13, 2007, 04:35:32 AM
I don't really know how to approach this - so I'd value your opinion.

I have to tell the social work soon when I change my name and that Paul (my younger brother currently in 24/7 care in a unit for severe autism) would need to be like 'brother' and not 'sister' and 'nick' and not 'Karen' *sigh* I don't know how well he'd adapt to that if at all and I feel guilty about it. He's only just now learning all this and i need to go changing it...

As well as that I'm sure if they might try to stop me seeing him because he gets angry/frustrated/upset at the change/routine... so they might pull the 'youre causing him distress' card and not let me see him. This said, I need to say *something*. The doc at the GIC says I need to inform social work as he is a family member.. blah blah...

Look forward to your replies

- Nick
Title: Re: Not really sure how to approach this...
Post by: beckster on August 13, 2007, 05:28:29 AM
Heya Nick,

Personally I feel that getting your social worker on your side would be a great place to start, explain to them what you are going through and make it clear that you are concerned about how your brother will cope with the change but more importantly get the point across that you still want to see him and have contact.  Just take things slow and try and work with the social worker to get what you want.

I really hope it wouldn't come to this but there may well be a chance that he does struggle with the change, but its worth keeping in mind that people can react that way even when they are not in care.  Have you talked about things with anyone else in your family, is there anyone who can give you support or advice there ?

Becky
xx
Title: Re: Not really sure how to approach this...
Post by: J.T. on August 17, 2007, 01:54:48 AM
That's really tough, Nick.  You said that your brother is just starting to learn your name and everything... so switching it should be pretty easy, don't you think?  Better to be sooner than later.

They won't restrict you... i bet that's just your anxiety popping up.

Is there one social worker your family works with... if you've got a longstanding relationship it could really help.  Regardless, I still think everything will go well.  No doubt that they've had a similar thing come up at some point in the history of the agency.
Title: Re: Not really sure how to approach this...
Post by: Jay on August 17, 2007, 06:55:34 AM
Hey Nick, I would inform them of this change... then the Social workers should know who he might be with this name change..However if they think it might upset him etc. Then can't you still use Karen just for him?? Instead of not being about to see him?? Just a suggestion
Title: Re: Not really sure how to approach this...
Post by: metal angel on August 25, 2009, 08:24:59 AM
How did this all turn out?

I just have Asperger's syndrome (a very mild variant of autism) and i loose track of people's identities at the best of times. I think one person is two different people (not quite literally, hard to explain), or confuse their thought with my own.

Hope it all went ok?