something that i believe quite a few people might know a bit about. when you have already gotten past your teens and are in your 20's and higher and have already lived the first part of your life being trapped as one gender, but then switching your body to that of the other. how do you go about dealing with the missing things from your past that you didnt gain the experience from growing up. such as having sleepovers, or dates, or going shopping with mom or friends, learning general life and social skills.
trying to figure out where to start and am completely lost.
so for my situation, i didnt really get to learn the male side growing up either as i ended up being home schooled for 6th-9th grade. and from 11/12 years old till i was 19 lived in the mountains with noone my own age and pretty much no friends. so i didnt get to socialize with other childeren and teenagers my own age except on rare occasions and lacking basic social knowledge i think has affected me greatly after trying to move on with life.
how does one handle not having such memories and experiences gendered, or not, after transitioning, that you can refer to?
i guess i feel largely that i have lost my childhood, from having grown up as male, as well as being isolated for a good portion of my teen years.
Yes, you are not alone in feeling as you do. I am still carrying a lot of anger and sadness with me about those years I wasn't able to live as myself. It's a very big part of what brings a lot of us down in my opinion.
I think we sometimes try to catch up on those lost years by doing things that isn't always suitable for our age like how we dress , what makeup we use and how we style our hair.
I think we should just be happy that we are able to be ourselves now, and not waste any more time thinking of how it could have been if you transitioned earlier. It's not always easy, I'm still getting there myself.
There have been more than a few of us who have explored the idea of a lost childhood. I appreciate how difficult it is to be physically or emotionally isolated and how awkward many of us feel in trying on styles and behaviors that cis people jettisoned decades ago.
It really is OK to feel our transitions are a second chance puberty. Cut yourself plenty of slack as life is a learning experience and there is always more to learn and experience.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda??? Doesn't help me either and moving forward feels best.