And also making my first post here! Hello ladies! :)
I've always known to some degree that I was meant to be a girl. I tried living as a gay male, and eventually realized I was going to self destruct if I didn't transition. Today has been a long time coming. I've taken all the necessary steps as far as therapy and labs etc. So here I am, taking this major step toward becoming who I am meant to be.
I have been lurking on Susans and ->-bleeped-<- forums for a long time as I worked my way through waiting for dr. appointments and therapy sessions, and laser hair removal, until I was approved for HRT. One thing that keeps coming back to me that I see in the forums a lot (more so on ->-bleeped-<-) is that "starting n your middle or late 30's you'll never pass, so you better save for FFS". I am not sure people realize, especially girls in their 20s with big boobs and long hair and glowing skin, how cruel and destructive this mantra is. It's so easy to just rattle that off and scare women out of transitioning, or cause them to put it off even longer until they finally cave in their 40's/50's, robbing them of years of happiness.
It's left me feeling really depressed on what I thought was going to be one of the happiest days of my life. So... I hope to buck that trend and be a trans woman in her late 30's that transitions beautifully. I want to inspire others to not be afraid and to listen to their hearts. Please, if you want to feel special for starting young, then just say something like "the younger you start the faster you get results" or "it will take longer to get you where you want to be in your 30's/40's/50's but you'll get there" and then pat yourself on the back for starting at 18 or whatever. But please stop discouraging people by saying they'll never pass. It's destructive language.
Anyway, sorry for rambling... any helpful/hopeful advice you can give would be appreciated as I start down this road finally. Your posts have mostly been a wealth of encouragement and information, so thank you for that over the past several months.
The simple truth is, they are full of crap.. Age isn't really a huge factor.
Hi Brandi,
Welcome to Susan's Place and congratulations for finding us.
Here's some quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
I started at 43, and the results really amazed me. I thought I'd look like a shaven ape in a dress, but I think I did just fine. Anyway, congrats on finding yourself and being proactive.
Hugs,
~Jill
Welcome Brandi to Susan's family.
Never a bad time to transition.
Life is a valuable commodity to waste not being happy.
Walk your path. Be happy.
Congrats on the HRT step, its a big one in the scheme of things.
Hugs
hi brandy I just started HRT 3 days ago myself at 40 congratulations
I'm 36 years old and not on HRT yet but did self med in the past for a short time. My avatar has no makeup on and I'm wearing boy clothes because I'm not fully out at work. And I have short hair because I just started growing it.
Some people are full of crap I found. In your 30s you can get good results. You just need to work at it. Sure you won't be like Kim Petras or Jazz who started as adolescents but you can be passable.
I STARTED HRT at age 47. Do you think it has worked for me. Before picture was 1 year ago. My current avatar is me now.
There is a whole thread on women who started in their 30s, including lots of pics of beautiful women. :) I think that idea is not only destructive, but it's a myth; it sure doesn't look to me like the *vast majority* of those who started HRT in the 30s are having problems blending in, as is claimed.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=86568.0
(I started at 32; I haven't been misgendered since some jackass did it one last time at six months in. I've had excellent results, and I'm content to look like a boring mid-30s woman, which I am.)
hi Brandi,
i started in my 50's and do pass most often, it is more about attitude and actions that anything else.
congrats on getting started for me it has been the best thing I have ever done in my life
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 21, 2014, 07:50:28 AM
I STARTED HRT at age 47. Do you think it has worked for me. Before picture was 1 year ago. My current avatar is me now.
Jessica,
Every time I see that picture I am absolutely blown away... no way that is you.
I started today!! I took my first doses at 2:45pm (CT)!!
Starting late... let me tell you about starting late... I am 55 right now, Tuesday, I turn 56 (thank you) I started hormones, first, herbals Oct '13 ago at age 54, switched to drug hormones June, '14.. Look at my avatar.. Do I pass? Sure, 'long as its a dark room.. :p
You, starting at 37? 'piece of cake!
Thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies!! What a kind, considerate, and BEAUTIFUL group of ladies. Yay! I found a place with good people! :) I appreciate the feedback, encouragement, links, etc. I feel better today, happy and excited again, so thank you!! Now can the next two weeks fly by while I am on low dose??
Currently just on Spiro twice a day E once a day. E doubles in two weeks, and in a month I go in for labs to see how things are going. I want to be on the max!! I mean, i am 37 and all... no time to waste! Hahaha. Jk. Seriously, thank you!! ;)
Quote from: ImagineKate on November 21, 2014, 10:13:27 AM
Jessica,
Every time I see that picture I am absolutely blown away... no way that is you.
My hand to G-D sweetie! Ask anyone here who has met me in real life! :)
Hi Brandi,
I was started hormones at 45 and i do pass here and there but not always because of the hight 5.8'' ... btw .. if you can than start with electrolysis it is way better than laser hair removal ... i did laser but it is not so good as it is electrolysis ... I wish you all the best and don't worry you will be all right!!
btw that's me ...
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs29.postimg.org%2Fz89qa6ek7%2Fimage.jpg&hash=3303852509af38f3e163a22303b46cf43782dad7)
You will be fine ^^. Passing is 70% attitude, and it seems you got plenty of that.
Brandi and Illuminess, congratulation on starting hormones.
I started 3 days prior to my 51 birthday. I will need another year then maybe I will pass sometimes. I am 6'3" so that will be an issue. So I am going for pretty trans woman (with a beautiful body :) ). FFS, I would love to but I need to be me fully first then I will see.
Ok, seriousl, this thinking you will not pass because you are over 5' 2" has got to stop! I fly for a living, & I see women from all around the country, a lot of them way taller than my 5 foot 10. You would not believe the number of women taller than 6 foot. So stop your whining that you are over five foot three, and you cannot pass because of that!! That's just so wrong thinking!
Very true :P. All those tiny countries anyway.. in the Netherlands a native Dutch girl shorter than 6ft is, well, normal if not short =/.
Hi Brandi.
I started HRT 1 month ago and I'm 34. I wasn't too worried about not passing eventually, but I was under the impression that HRT would start working at a glacial pace, and that I wouldn't see even minimal changes until 3 to 5 months in. In one month, I've noticed a lot of changes. At this point, I'm actually starting to wonder how I'm going to get a bunch of clothing, because I suspect I'm going to need a new wardrobe much sooner than I was thinking. I was originally thinking it would be 2 years or so, so I'd be gradually picking up an outfit here and there a month, and that I'd just replace a few things as I continue to develop. But now, if things keep developing, I'm probably going to need the whole shooting match in 6 to 8 months ... and that's a conservative estimate.
My only other worry is, like most women, that I feel I could stand to loose about 20 to 30 more pounds.
I should add, I've worked extremely hard. I don't use recreational drugs, nor do I smoke or drink (I've given up drinking entirely). I've done 4 rounds of laser. I need a little more, but I've done enough to where what I still have to deal with is easily covered up with foundation. I've lost 80 pounds (and am still working to lose weight). I've grown my hair for nearly 2 years (college helped with this!). I've also come out to nearly everyone who matters in my life. The last people I need to tell are my daughter, who's young enough and open minded enough that i'm not worried about her reaction, and my mother in law, which is why I haven't told her and that last one is up to my wife. There's a whole lot more to transition than HRT. People aren't kidding when they say confidence is a big part of it. And with all this other stuff out of the way, even with some things I still need to work on, that's going to be easier for me.
37 is still just a baby when it comes to transitioning. Given that 99% of the testosterone damage is done by your early twenties, it really matters very little whether you're 30, 40, or even 50. Or older. What does matter, as you rightly point out, is that nobody is discouraged by rumors that success becomes more and more unlikely as one gets older. Sure, there are additional challenges, but many older girls are better-equipped to handle transition because they are financially secure, in strong relationships etc.
I'd even go so far as to say that transitioning in your 30s is the best time to do it. You don't have to put up with the BS that comes with being a girl in her twenties, but you're young enough to have many, many years of living life as a woman.
Enjoy the HRT - it's amazing stuff!
It is really good to read your posts because it shows me that we all have our own paths and challenges, but that ultimately we get where we need to be. I am 5'7'' so not super tall, and pretty muscle-bound weighing in at 170 lbs. Before I quit smoking 5 years ago I weighed like 135 so hopefully HRT will help shave off the thick build I've developed and I can get back to that smaller frame. I started laser hair removal like ten years ago on my face so at this point I have very little hair left at all, because I have very dark hair and fair skin. Removing my facial hair so long ago was sort of a band-aid, keeping me from having to transition, as I felt like I still looked feminine without a beard. As time has passed, however, and my hairline began to recede (slight, but that definite male hair pattern M shape), I went from being very thin to "thick" and stocky, with fat around my middle in a very male way, and started getting more body hair (had always been very smooth) on my stomach etc... the dysphoria became stronger and stronger. To where my little band-aids were no longer keeping me together. Thankfully I relocated to a city (Boston) with great resources and protections for us girls, and I began seeing a therapist... and here I am, 3 full days on HRT. After reading your posts I am almost more afraid that I will be like Amy the Bookworm and things will happen too quickly!! I can't really afford a stylish new wardrobe!! There are lots of thrift stores in my neighborhood so that will help. Basically, I am just thankful for you all for sharing your stories and for being positive and encouraging. I've been lurking here for a while, and you have helped me more than you know.
Hi Brandi, I started HRT when I was 38. I've seen some amazing results from girls in their thirties, I hope I'm one of them in the future!
Quote from: Jessica Merriman on November 21, 2014, 05:37:35 PM
My hand to G-D sweetie! Ask anyone here who has met me in real life! :)
I must definitely do that one day.
Quote from: Jill F on November 20, 2014, 09:45:23 PM
I started at 43, and the results really amazed me. I thought I'd look like a shaven ape in a dress, but I think I did just fine. Anyway, congrats on finding yourself and being proactive.
Hugs,
~Jill
That made me LOL!
You don't look that way at all, you look amazing!!
I started HRT at 43 as well. While I have no wardrobe yet (it's complicated) the psychological benefits have been amazing to say the least. I've never smiled so much, felt like myself (even in the transition stress) nor felt so even-keel, ever. It's wonderful. My family can complain all they want and cherry pick the Bible to me all say long, I don't care. I'm finally me. The me that God already knew since the beginning of time.
To say it's freeing is a complete understatement. 43 is a great time to start!
whats the effect of hrt does the body change lots
Quote from: danieljonasson34 on November 24, 2014, 10:05:05 AM
whats the effect of hrt does the body change lots
Well, hopefully! I will keep you all posted! 6 days in, I haven't noticed anything different beyond being really tired.... maaaaaaybe some softer skin but that's about it.
Brandi:
Congratulations so much on starting!
I just started 3 weeks ago myself at 32.
Thank you so much for starting this thread and sharing your thoughts.
I couldn't agree more about that stigma! I find one of my biggest challenges is to keep focus on looking back and not get caught up in what could have happen if I transitioned earlier, and threads like this are really a saving grace for me to help me remember that we all tend to start at exactly the right time for each of us.
On that note, thank you to everyone else to replied as well!
Wishing you the best!
Giselle Marie
Quote from: Giselle.Marie on November 26, 2014, 01:38:51 AM
Brandi:
Congratulations so much on starting!
I just started 3 weeks ago myself at 32.
Thank you so much for starting this thread and sharing your thoughts.
I couldn't agree more about that stigma! I find one of my biggest challenges is to keep focus on looking back and not get caught up in what could have happen if I transitioned earlier, and threads like this are really a saving grace for me to help me remember that we all tend to start at exactly the right time for each of us.
On that note, thank you to everyone else to replied as well!
Wishing you the best!
Giselle Marie
Thank YOU Giselle for sharing, and congratulations on beginning your journey too! Have you noticed any changes in 3 weeks? So far I am just exhausted, and HUNGRY!! I think it's my hormone levels, as I am on 100 mg spiro a day but just 2 mg E currently. I go up higher next week.... Just curious what your experience has been...
Brandi:
I can't remember for sure, but I think we're discouraged from sharing specific dose amounts, so, just in case, I'll stay away from that, suffice it to stay, that I'm on a similarly, what I'll call... hmm.. "entry level" dose :)
Oh! I guess it would be useful to say what though! I'm on Finasteride, Spiro, and Estradiol.
As far as my experience so far, things have been pretty quiet, as my doctor warned me they would be until we made sure there were no negative side effects and could step up the doses.
That said, I know I've certainly started to lose weight since I started, and have a substantially decreased appetite (which, I won't really complain about). People who touch me say my skin is softer, but I'm not sure how much that's psychosomatic. One really weird thing that I didn't expect at all, but since then have found a few people on here that have had a similar change, is that my sense of smell got totally amplified, which sounds great, but the smell I really notice has become overpowering is actually perspiration. I'm a little sporty, and play a couple of nights a week, and before starting would finish a game and be changing or whatever and not notice anything. Now I have to go change somewhere else the smell is so awful!
Oh well... You have to take the good with the bad, I suppose!
Anyway, that's about it for now. Hopefully, soon enough I'll see some changes that are more meaningful and less quirky. :)
But... It will all happen as its meant to, so I'm in no big rush.
Hope to see you around!
Giselle