I don't have to 'pass' as male or female, I just have to be myself.
People ask me "Are you a man or a woman?"
"Do I have to be one or the other?" I reply.
Whichever pronoun they like is fine with me, I'm officially over the whole issue of gender identity. [emoji4]
All I have to do is be myself. All I have to do is know that i'm beautiful no matter how I present myself.
Anybody feel the same?
You have found the truth. Just be you!
:icon_yes:
Yup. At this point in my life it's way more about how I identify, not how others want to label me. I don't care about pronouns, though I'm shifting my more neutral middle name. And, I'll always be 'mommy' to my son; well, except maybe if I become 'mom.' ;-) I want to present as more gender neutral, but I just can't get worked up over language and other people's errors. For years I've been "sirred" every now and again. I finally figured out that what bothers me isn't being perceived as male, but people' lack of attention to the world around them! ::)
I have a friend who has what is now called dissociative identity disorder. They were horribly abused as a young child and simply split the pain off into separate personalities, for a three year old a brilliant solution. They are very much different people in the same physical space. Some male, some female and a very playful young boy. It is quite charming really. It is through that friendship that I began to explore the richness of life that was available to people who refused to fit into a sealed box. That I am both the union and intersection of male and female is for me not only reality, but way of understanding my emotional and intellectual proclivities in an inclusive and deeper way. It was the non-binary forum that gave expression to what I think I already knew or suspected. There is richness and absolute acceptance here that is less prevalent in some of the other boards.
If we become constrained by our limits to understanding there is a danger that a barrier to growth will develop rather than a rich medium for seeking enlightenment. That is why I am so grateful for a mind-space where I can explore, learn and grow with fellow pilgrims on the path to who we are. A few days ago I wrote "All this is predicated on making choices. To be accepting rather than confrontational. To recognize the limits of knowledge and to respect the absolute necessity of allowing everyone to seek their own path and to find their own way. When choice is denied., when authenticity is challenged, it doesn't work and the magic is lost." To the extent that there is a lack of acceptance the magic and the power of growth is lost. It is ours to pick up and to expand understanding without fear of offending, without rancor, and with gentleness and decorum.
Welcome to the discovery of yourself,
Peace,
Julie
Quote from: brianna1016 on November 21, 2014, 08:52:42 AM
I don't have to 'pass' as male or female, I just have to be myself...
.... Whichever pronoun they like is fine with me, I'm officially over the whole issue of gender identity. [emoji4]
All I have to do is be myself. All I have to do is know that i'm beautiful no matter how I present myself.
Anybody feel the same?
Brianna
Such a simple yet such a powerful learning. It has taken me many years to know, understand and accept what, in hindsight, appears so obvious. On occasion I still need to remind myself of this maxim. This applies to all folk. Living an authentic life, a life which best expresses your core, is my definition of beautiful.
Safe travels
Aisla
Succinct and well stated Brianna. The last time a group of guys offered that taunt of "are you a ...." My reply was that it "doesn't matter." They were't even going to get close with that attitude anyway.
The vast majority of people don't care or are way more interested in their own life IMO. People in my life are almost always nice and so am i.
I like your way of thinking Brianna. :) I hope one day I can learn to adopt you sentiment instead of always getting stuck over-thinking things like I tend to do. >.<
Short and simple, but words of great wisdom. Thank you for that!
Quote from: brianna1016 on November 21, 2014, 08:52:42 AM
All I have to do is be myself. All I have to do is know that i'm beautiful no matter how I present myself.
Anybody feel the same?
I definitely want to feel the same!!!
Quote from: VeronicaLynn on November 24, 2014, 12:01:20 AM
I definitely want to feel the same!!!
Acceptance is the tool which will get you there, even in the company of the unenlightened.
Passing, imho, is either a necessary evil in certain situations or a personal need to help with dysphoria for some people. Outside of that passing is unnecessary and pointless. Being yourself is all that matters in the end.
Quote from: brianna1016 on November 21, 2014, 08:52:42 AM
I don't have to 'pass' as male or female, I just have to be myself.
People ask me "Are you a man or a woman?"
"Do I have to be one or the other?" I reply.
Whichever pronoun they like is fine with me, I'm officially over the whole issue of gender identity. [emoji4]
All I have to do is be myself. All I have to do is know that i'm beautiful no matter how I present myself.
Anybody feel the same?
I'm not there yet, but that's my ideal. (I WAS there for a time, but am having a very confusing and distressing week :( )
I needed to start going to transgender support groups to really understand how unimportant passing is. The overall way they present themselves makes it clear to me that they know who they are and just don't give a crap about pretending to be overly prissy or macho to match their clothes and hair.
Quote from: Ptero on December 03, 2014, 03:18:56 PM
If only I could...
Why can't you?
I said earlier that I wanted to feel the same. I'm closer to that reality now, I may not ever be able to present myself the way I want to in some situations, but I really am myself now always, however I might be presenting.
Timeless wisdom. yet deep and profound.