Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: FTMKyle on November 21, 2014, 05:08:03 PM

Title: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: FTMKyle on November 21, 2014, 05:08:03 PM
...And it wasn't too bad. They apparently already knew. I figured that one of them had it figured out a while back ago because we've had some discussions about trans issues, and I know I come off as knowing too much about a subject that most people know little to nothing about. The other one said he observed certain things about me that made him wonder, like how small my hands are, and both of them had talked about it. My heart was pounding when I found out they knew I was ftm. I really didn't get awkward questions that most people ask. One coworker did ask a few, and he asked about the mysterious surgery I had back in June. I told him about my top surgery, and that was another thing he had observed about me from before my top surgery. He mentioned me always hiding in my hoodie, but when I came back the hoodie was gone, and I seemed more confident. That made me feel kind of good that he said that. And he was right, I was always hiding in my hoodie. Both of them said they didn't have a problem with it, and the other coworker kept insisting that they still love me.

But tomorrow is another day and I will see the one coworker with the questions bright and early, and there will be no one around to overhear, so I am fairly certain   I will get bombarded with all those awkward questions.
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: King Malachite on November 21, 2014, 05:15:20 PM
I'm glad they seem supportive as it could have gone MUCH worse.  However, in my personal opinion, I find it creepy that they would observe you that closely.  I'm curious as to how the whole conversation went about. Did they bomb rush you and go "I know you're trans....." etc.?
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: Headsupbuddy on November 21, 2014, 09:26:43 PM
I'm happy things went pretty well!
It's a little disheartening to hear they picked up on such little things though, makes me wonder what tells I have that could potentially clue someone in...
Remember not to be afraid to simply tell the curious coworker if you'd rather not talk about anything they ask!
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: Adam (birkin) on November 21, 2014, 09:36:42 PM
I am glad they were accepting, but yeah, it is a little weird that they picked up on stuff like that.
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: Contravene on November 21, 2014, 10:30:42 PM
I agree with King Malachite, it's pretty creepy for them to observe and discuss things like your hands being small. I mean, how the heck does something like that even come up in conversation? I know a few cis-guys with small hands, small feet and a guy who has to buy youth sized hats because his head is so small, but I never once noticed those things until they pointed them out themselves.
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: Beth Andrea on November 21, 2014, 10:43:52 PM
Quote from: birkin on November 21, 2014, 09:36:42 PM
I am glad they were accepting, but yeah, it is a little weird that they picked up on stuff like that.

If I had a friend who "knew a little too much" about an issue, I'd wonder if they were associated with that to one degree or another.

And if I had another friend who noticed something obvious (like my friend who had more confidence after a surgery) and, in the way of casual conversation, mentioned the "more confidence" event...it wouldn't be too hard to put 2 and 2 together...

But instead of confronting him immediately, they started observing and noting things that suggest a trans background. That's when they felt confident enough to ask. After all, someone's feelings might be hurt if they said (to a woman), "hey, we think you look like a dude!"

Sounds to me like they were considerate and respectful, given the newness of the whole TS/TG presence.
Title: Re: Two coworkers found out...
Post by: PucksWaywardSon on November 21, 2014, 10:48:01 PM
good to hear they were so supportive :) Hope they continue to be so.

I was dreading the "inevitable" questions I thought I'd get in my drama classes and... really I only had one (from an unreasonably hot Irishman, ofc) which was how the hell I chose my name because he thought that'd be a really hard thing to do. (answer: it's from a First Clue moment when I was about 7 or 8 years old)