pre HRT it was an infinite 24/7 bottomless pit , now I'm glade too say its a blue moon event. Luckily for me HRT has been like the effect of antibiotics on bacteria
I think I feel dysphoric over something at least every few days, but it's 10x better than before & I'm able to come out of it very quickly. Also, it's not as intense. I feel the least dysphoric when I have my makeup on, but if I'm not going anywhere I won't bother putting it on. If I'm just home though I don't feel it all that great. HRT is just amazing & has helped many of us so much lol :)
Pretty much every single day right now, especially after surgery which boosted my confidence a lot. Still the paranoia creeps in when people start staring and I question myself again. I can't seem to get over the staring thing. Last week it was intense. Almost everyone was looking at me the whole day, even craning their necks. At one point I said with a loud voice: WTF is going on today? just out of frustration... sometimes I have certain days that everyone looks at me. It is strange...
I deal a lot with this right now...When i finally admitted to myself i a was transgender I started to realize how unhappy i was with my body...It comes in waves and it varies...Many times when i see a girl in an outfit i like something inside me screams out and throws a tantrum because It wants to bring that female side out so bad...I actually had to clench my fist today when i started to feel it because i was talking with my boss. Then i get really depressed because the thought of continuing as a man becomes unbearable...It has even gotten to the point where my genitals make me uncomfortable when if feel them against my leg...and the feeling of my chest feeling flat makes me uncomfortable at times too...I have to wait a month before i can see the therapist....and it has been challenging.
Basically 99.99% of the time post-op. Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of myself I don't like or someone says something... but it's rare.
the problem really is between my legs, the changing toward that goal is what's keeping me afloat and the reality and experiences of those posting about their GRS experience has enlightened me quantumly
I'm at peace most of the time :) But I'm Full Time and I know I pass most of the time. When random boys start flirting with you, and you look in the mirror and think, "Well I'm cute but I wish I had an upturned nose." You know. :) There are still some times. But most of the time I'm happy with me. Getting my Implants was the last big stepp I needed. No needed to pad my bra, and all. I couldn'te imagine going back. Hell I can't even really rember what it was like. I jsut know it was flat and I was not happy. you know?
Sites like these help a lot, but when I do get dysphoric it's terrible, I cry for ages until I fall to sleep, but as long as I'm doing something it keeps my mind off of it.
I'm still only at about 70%-ish... even though I'm passing to the point of apparent stealth, I still don't feel like I'm feminine enough. I'm still not unquestionably seeing a girl in the mirror until I'm dressed in my work clothes, with my hair pulled back, and with makeup on. I'm still having issues with how big my body is, and the masculine features of my face. Plus I'm still dealing with genital dysphoria on a lot of days.
I still have a ways to go.
funny, I keep saying that to my self , ' I have a ways to go '.
My dysphoria is almost always present but for the most part it is only at one or two rather than jammed up to eleven like it used to be.
Quote from: stephaniec on November 21, 2014, 06:29:29 PM
pre HRT it was an infinite 24/7 bottomless pit , now I'm glade too say its a blue moon event. Luckily for me HRT has been like the effect of antibiotics on bacteria
HRT is definately the antidote for the poison! ;) Knowing that I'm almost near the top of the mountain instead of on the ground floor keeps me going. I used to think I have
no chance of transitioning, now I think
I'm so damn close I can feel it.
I am dyphoric free about 50% of the time. HRT has helped a lot.
My dreams and free time thoughts are dysphoric.
When I wake up in the middle of the night I can not get to fall asleep and it is dysphoric.
About all the time lately...but am still very closted with few outlets or ability to be "me." I try to push it into it's box but it seems to pop right out...