As a transguy, I've noticed quite a bit of awkwardness about certain topics, many of which I've chatted about, but one's been troubling me recently: Periods. Yeah, that's right, the thing that I know almost all of my buddies feel like a blushing daisy for talking about. I don't know how to feel about them, honestly, considering that I generally take the fact that having blood coming out of my genitalia is A: A little gross for me, and B: Annoying to handle in male underwear. But, I've been especially embarrassed by it recently, considering that I've had a medical issue with my periods that's been causing them to happen more often.
Because the bleeding was so bad one day, I had to go to the nurse's office to change my pants, and she gave me this huge talk about periods. About how it's a natural, womanly thing, and that I shouldn't be worried, as it's a part of becoming an adult woman. Now, I'm no stranger to this, considering I live in Texas, for better or for worse, but it was pretty awful having "lady" talk when I don't really think of myself as a lady. Not to mention I've been having periods since I was 10, so I clearly understood what was going on anyway.
It's been bugging me, in shot. I'm kind of curious what other transguys out there think about it, or have had ways to deal with it, any experiences to share.
I think periods are funny to talk about mainly because they're so gross. The blood, the poop, the other ill effects. I tease a lot of my friends about their periods. But that being said, I don't have them and they only know me as a guy, I imagine if I had them and someone was talking to me about it like I was in on some female-only little secret it would be a different story.
I can completely relate. I haven't had a shark week in over a year, but when I did have them I was so, very, very, very much ashamed of them.
You already mentioned the reason. Having periods is considered to be a womanly thing. Males don't bleed from their genitals, period (yes, I went there. Smite me!). It's funny, but even writing this post makes me feel uneasy. 'Ladytalks' certainly never helped me. They made me feel very dysphoric. When they happened I sort of zoned out, thinking that all those silly 'woman things' didn't apply to me.
When I still had the dreaded bleeding I went to great lengths to hide they were happening. For some reason, I wanted the world to think I was periodless because it would make me less of a woman, and thus in my mind more of a man. Odd way of thinking, I know.
I can't deal with them, talk about them, or oddly smell the fragrance they put on the products without wanting to vomit and getting very dysphoric. I only voice that they exist when I have to, i.e. if I need someone to go and get some products for me because I can't handle buying them, and even then I do it in a roundabout way.
It's more than just "gross" for me. It nearly destroys me each time. It takes me all my strength to go to work and not try and find some way to escape it through abusing substances etc. It's made worse by the fact that I'm stealth at work and I can't reveal how I'm feeling, or that I need to change stuff either. I work outside the majority of the time, so there's no access to toilets either, I've just got to pray that I don't leak. I had a nightmare last night where it had happened and I wasn't prepared, and it was utterly terrifying.
SpaceMutie,
There is a thread around here, I believe right in this section (only other place it might be is the Testosterone section) where there was a good discussion around how guys felt about their periods and how they dealt with having them. You might want to do a search for that thread. I don't remember the title, but "period" was probably in it.
Quote from: lxndr on November 23, 2014, 07:23:59 AM
I can't deal with them, talk about them, or oddly smell the fragrance they put on the products without wanting to vomit and getting very dysphoric. I only voice that they exist when I have to, i.e. if I need someone to go and get some products for me because I can't handle buying them, and even then I do it in a roundabout way.
It's more than just "gross" for me. It nearly destroys me each time. It takes me all my strength to go to work and not try and find some way to escape it through abusing substances etc. It's made worse by the fact that I'm stealth at work and I can't reveal how I'm feeling, or that I need to change stuff either. I work outside the majority of the time, so there's no access to toilets either, I've just got to pray that I don't leak. I had a nightmare last night where it had happened and I wasn't prepared, and it was utterly terrifying.
Yes, I feel the same way. I mostly can't stand the smell and I can always tell if someone is on their period whenever I use a public bathroom....Ewwww!!!!
I've always suffered from bad, irregular periods. They were so bad that I was on birth control when I was 13...It made me weak and I have to take iron pills or else I feel nauseous and weak. I tell people all the time how lucky they are that their periods aren't as bad as mine. No one has any idea how painful and gross periods are for me...I absolutely despise them
I don't have periods right now since I'm on Depo-Provera (not for everyone), but when I did I found Lunapads to be a blessing. They're definitely not for every trans guy since they involve more contact with the fluids and such, but they don't crinkle/make noise since they're cloth, they eliminate the need to go to the store to get supplies, they last most or all of a day without needing changed (at least for me), they're different than modern mainstream supplies so depending on your headspace they might trigger less dysphoria than the scented plasticky stuff, and as long as you can deal with taking them off when they're dirty, they're easy enough to just toss in the washer for cleaning.
As an added bonus, the company acknowledges that trans and nonbinary folks are among their userbase (http://lunapads.com/blog/2011/12/all-genders-all-bodies/ (http://lunapads.com/blog/2011/12/all-genders-all-bodies/)) and is generally pretty ethical, as compared to most companies nowadays.
Like I said, they're not for everyone since I know dealing with the aftermath could trigger dysphoria, but maybe worth looking into depending how your dysphoria plays out. Best of luck!
I know this may seem stupid and insensitive, but I actually wish I had periods so I could have kids one day and relate to my female friends better. So I hope I'm not minimizing the pain of having a period, but I think I'd rather have the pain so I could be a mom one day. :( But I don't mind adopting anyway.
They really messed with me, made me feel like a freak show. I didn't get it until late (16), but thankfully I got on T at 23... So that really helped once that was axed. And the cramps, oh man, horrible. I disassociated with it.
Reason #5,748 why I thought I couldn't be trans: I don't experience dysphoria when menstruating. Even when I was young, I have always been indifferent at best and annoyed at worst about it. I don't even think it's gross. I just see it as biology: this is just something my body does to stay healthy. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day when I don't have to deal with it. However, I pretty sure the average person regardless of who they are has that general sentiment.
What really grinds my gears is when people make value judgments around it, like menstruation=woman, and that it somehow impairs my mental capabilities. I feel you, SpaceMutie: when someone refers to my biology and the healthcare pertaining to it as "womanly things,"
that's when I get distressed.
Quote from: Aewin on November 23, 2014, 09:03:53 AM
I don't have periods right now since I'm on Depo-Provera (not for everyone), but when I did I found Lunapads to be a blessing. They're definitely not for every trans guy since they involve more contact with the fluids and such, but they don't crinkle/make noise since they're cloth, they eliminate the need to go to the store to get supplies, they last most or all of a day without needing changed (at least for me), they're different than modern mainstream supplies so depending on your headspace they might trigger less dysphoria than the scented plasticky stuff, and as long as you can deal with taking them off when they're dirty, they're easy enough to just toss in the washer for cleaning.
As an added bonus, the company acknowledges that trans and nonbinary folks are among their userbase (http://lunapads.com/blog/2011/12/all-genders-all-bodies/ (http://lunapads.com/blog/2011/12/all-genders-all-bodies/)) and is generally pretty ethical, as compared to most companies nowadays.
Like I said, they're not for everyone since I know dealing with the aftermath could trigger dysphoria, but maybe worth looking into depending how your dysphoria plays out. Best of luck!
Okay, since were on the topic now of menstruation products, I'll tell y'all my strategy in the hopes that can help someone out. I like to party its the 10th century, and use rags.
Step 1) Cut a strip of a T-shirt you don't want anymore so its a loop of fabric.
Step 2) Take a washcloth you're not going to miss, and shove it in the loop. (Fold any left over loop for extra padding.)
Step 3) Go tell the feminine hygiene industry to go screw itself as you strut your stuff with a pad that is cheap, homemade, washable, reusable, doesn't irritate your skin, and doesn't have to be up close and personal with some very delicate equipment.
Quote from: Auroramarianna on November 23, 2014, 09:36:05 AM
I know this may seem stupid and insensitive, but I actually wish I had periods so I could have kids one day and relate to my female friends better. So I hope I'm not minimizing the pain of having a period, but I think I'd rather have the pain so I could be a mom one day. :( But I don't mind adopting anyway.
I think I get what you're saying. Menstruation is an health indicator, especially pertaining to fertility, and I can respect someone wanting to have them in hopes of having children.
I felt indifferent with my period for the longest time. I wasn't sexual active and it was just easier to just pretend it didn't exist while quietly managing it. It sucked as I had to use pads (low cervix) so the blood in my drawers was like an insult but couldn't be helped so I just grumbled and moved on. With now being married, my period was kinda nice in that it's nature's way of saying " you're not knocked up!". Now that I'm done with kids and the thought of being pregnant makes me hyperventilate, I'm DONE with periods especially since I bleed pretty heavily. More like overdone but I don't want to be dramatic.
Quote from: Auroramarianna on November 23, 2014, 09:36:05 AM
I know this may seem stupid and insensitive, but I actually wish I had periods so I could have kids one day and relate to my female friends better. So I hope I'm not minimizing the pain of having a period, but I think I'd rather have the pain so I could be a mom one day. :( But I don't mind adopting anyway.
You're welcome to take mine off my hands. I don't want it lol
Quote from: BlaineGame on November 23, 2014, 10:34:26 AM
You're welcome to take mine off my hands. I don't want it lol
Lol, I probably don't know what I am getting into, but I would gladly take it, eheheh, maybe I would regret it? Lol.
I'll shortly summarize my experience by saying that I always pretended that I didn't know what the doctors were talking about when they asked me 'when my last period was' because I was THAT unaccepting about the fact that such repulsive thing was happening to me.
Quote from: Satyrane on November 23, 2014, 09:50:20 AM
Reason #5,748 why I thought I couldn't be trans: I don't experience dysphoria when menstruating. Even when I was young, I have always been indifferent at best and annoyed at worst about it. I don't even think it's gross. I just see it as biology: this is just something my body does to stay healthy. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day when I don't have to deal with it. However, I pretty sure the average person regardless of who they are has that general sentiment.
Pretty much the same way for me too. I'm pretty much indifferent to it. I don't get cramps or mood swings or any of that stuff most females seem to get though. I don't keep track of it either, and it's pretty irregular to it surprises me every time anyways. It doesn't really cause me any discomfort, but I wouldn't care the least if my reproductive system decided to malfunction one day and just stop working. I just don't care either way. But that might change if/once I start presenting as a guy? Don't know.
Since I am now living as a guy, I don't hear the girls talking about there anymore and all the problems. I did hear it all the time when I was living as a girl, which was just a another reminder that I had those girl parts that made me bleed every month. No guy bleeds from below and can't control it, if he did he would be at the dr's office or ER ASAP. I do get cramps about a day before I start which at least lets me know I will start soon. I use tampons which work best for me only need to change a few time a day and no pads to see and feel between your legs. It will be great to start t and then some day get the parts all removed.
My solution? Menopause! :laugh:
Hope that gave someone a smile...!
Jak, I like your solution but I am only 23 so don't want to wait 25-30 yrs for it to get here for me, also I don't even want to think about all those periods I would get in that time.
Quote from: Satyrane on November 23, 2014, 09:50:20 AM
Reason #5,748 why I thought I couldn't be trans: I don't experience dysphoria when menstruating. Even when I was young, I have always been indifferent at best and annoyed at worst about it. I don't even think it's gross. I just see it as biology: this is just something my body does to stay healthy. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to the day when I don't have to deal with it. However, I pretty sure the average person regardless of who they are has that general sentiment.
What really grinds my gears is when people make value judgments around it, like menstruation=woman, and that it somehow impairs my mental capabilities. I feel you, SpaceMutie: when someone refers to my biology and the healthcare pertaining to it as "womanly things," that's when I get distressed.
Okay, since were on the topic now of menstruation products, I'll tell y'all my strategy in the hopes that can help someone out. I like to party its the 10th century, and use rags.
Step 1) Cut a strip of a T-shirt you don't want anymore so its a loop of fabric.
Step 2) Take a washcloth you're not going to miss, and shove it in the loop. (Fold any left over loop for extra padding.)
Step 3) Go tell the feminine hygiene industry to go screw itself as you strut your stuff with a pad that is cheap, homemade, washable, reusable, doesn't irritate your skin, and doesn't have to be up close and personal with some very delicate equipment.
I think I get what you're saying. Menstruation is an health indicator, especially pertaining to fertility, and I can respect someone wanting to have them in hopes of having children.
Thank god, there's someone who really relates to me a little. While I really dislike periods because of the unnecessary mess/physical pain that it causes me-- I'm fairly weak in terms of pain, so it
killsme every time-- I really don't worry about it most of the time. However, I sometimes get so fed up with it and that any time someone talks about it, it has to be some pointed reminder that I have female parts. So, I guess, it's not the process, but what comes along with all the nonsense. I'm happy someone relates, and it must really feel awful for others to hate it constantly. I'm in the weird median section of that.
Also, thanks for the tip. I have the misfortune of having really long, drawn-out periods of death every few weeks, so it's nice to have something that's sturdy enough for me to wear and doesn't require me to wear the frilly, girly nonsense my mother buys me frequently. I also really appreciate all of the answers, it's interesting to see all the different opinions.
Quote from: mm on November 24, 2014, 04:58:20 PM
Jak, I like your solution but I am only 23 so don't want to wait 25-30 yrs for it to get here for me, also I don't even want to think about all those periods I would get in that time.
;) ;) ;)
for me the dysphoria isnt the worst part, i suffer from the worst cramps, leaving me sick to my stomach and writhing in pain, it makes my week hard to function.