So my heterosexual cis male partner just reminded me of one of the most horrible aspects of my life as a non-binary trans person.
There are mean people out there, as much as I want to believe in the spark of spirit and love within us all, some people are sick and terrible and plagued by negative energy (and entities too), and some people want to "prove" to transpeople "what they really are" by raping us. Some people want to murder us. Let's be honest, most of these crimes are committed by "straight" cismen. I am about the furthest thing from hating cis men (they make up the majority of my friends), but it's a simple fact.
MtFs and FtMs are both in danger, as well as non binary people, especially those of us who make people question their sexual identities. That's quite often a motivator for these crimes. A lot of close minded, brainwashed and thoroughly programmed straight men become homicidal if there is any shred of a questioning regarding their heterosexuality. In the case of MtF/MtA folks, men become furious because they have been "tricked", they thought she was a cis woman, and now she will die for this horrible deception. For FtM/FtA people, the thought is to "teach her she's a woman".
And sometimes, they get away with it.
Thinking about this makes me sick and furious, but it's true, so very heartwrenchingly true. RIP Brandon Teena, Islan Nettles, and the other countless transpeople across the world who have been murdered, raped, abused or ostracized for nothing more than being themselves.
I feel your fury at being robbed of your lives. You anger courses through my blood and intensifies.
We need to travel together, never let our guards down, and we need to hone our bodies, be trained and ready to kill to defend ourselves and our tribe. It's brutal, but so is what they do when they get one of us alone.
In my case, I am a nomad, a wanderer, a gypsy, a bard, I cannot stay in one place for too long....it's against my nature. And in the lifestyle I lead, I run a very good chance of being attacked if I present openly as genderqueer or trans/masc and get outed. Like, a hundred times more likely than someone working and living indoors has of being jumped.
->-bleeped-<-, travelin kids get jumped for just bein dirty, then add trans to it? I'm a goner, man. If I ever wanna be myself, I may pay for it dearly. I know now that I must never travel alone, never in a group of less than 5 or 6 kids with several dogs.
And so goes life!
This leads me to begin to think transitioning almost completely to male visually may be my best option. I don't want top surgery, but I don't want to be raped, beaten, and/or murdered either. I'm so saddened, frustrated and pissed off at this point I just needed to vent.
Transmute those feelings into methodical determination.
Breathe.
this reminds me of this website
depending on the place you live, there are better solutions
http://www.pinkpistols.org/
Armed queers don't get bashed! They are right about that one.
Traveling with a gun is really tricky though when you don't have a car and live out of a backpack.
Cops tend to get a little uppity about it for some reason.
:laugh:
It's one of the main reasons I am considering taking up martial arts again. I also looked at some Womens Self Defence against rape for Women online, and how to do them. I actually practiced as well.
The problem is I'd like to take one of these classes, but "Transgenders and Men aren't allowed"....great.
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I've just kinda accepted that people by nature suck.
Works both ways.
I would not want to mess with a trans*, especially a trans who already walked through the corridors of fire in Dante's Inferno. I won't be a victim, to say it politely.
I cannot recommend Krav Maga enough as a martial art of choice. It teaches fighting to survive within an urban environment. Its brutal, but it is precise and it is effective and can clinically effective regardless of the size of the attacker.
Self defense, martial arts, it's all good, but remember one thing. If you're a 30 year old woman and decide to learn it, you're probably assuming you'll be defending yourself from a 30 year old man.......who's been taking lessons since he was 8. Seriously, drive by a martial arts studio after school some day.
http://www.rad-systems.com/rad_package.html
When I was a police officer, this is the course we offered to the community. It's super simple, very effective, and easy to pick up. You may be able to find some videos of it online. We had a female officer teach the course, and for practical demonstrations/tests we'd call in the two biggest (height/weight) guys on shift and have them come in to get beat up repeatedly. Not sure if every place does it that way, but it seemed to get a good response from participants.
I don't think we ever said our courses were strictly for women? I can't remember, it's been a minute. I'm sure many people probably felt that they were since it was specifically touted as rape defense and of course "men can't be raped" ::) But I'm positive that we wouldn't have turned away anyone that felt they needed to learn. If you ever call to inquire and get told no due to the fact that you're trans, express your concerns and explain why the course would benefit you. Offer to speak with the class prior to starting, and agree that if your presence makes people uncomfortable, you'll leave. Don't give up at an initial no.
People have a right to defend themselves. Whatever precautions you need to take, do so. As far as carrying a pistol, much depends upon your state. In New York City, citizens cannot own or possess a pistol (don't agree with this). I'm out and about all day, much of the time alone. I've never had any trouble thus far.
:)
As with most rights in the eyes of society, the right to bear arms is meant for the powerful, not the marginalized. Could you imagine if a trans group or people of color went around brandishing weapons like the white male open carry fanatics? They'd be put down in the street, while everyone made excuses for it.
Quote from: JulieL on December 17, 2014, 07:35:53 AM
As with most rights in the eyes of society, the right to bear arms is meant for the powerful, not the marginalized. Could you imagine if a trans group or people of color went around brandishing weapons like the white male open carry fanatics? They'd be put down in the street, while everyone made excuses for it.
Quote from: gennee on December 16, 2014, 11:08:45 AM
People have a right to defend themselves. Whatever precautions you need to take, do so. As far as carrying a pistol, much depends upon your state. In New York City, citizens cannot own or possess a pistol (don't agree with this). I'm out and about all day, much of the time alone. I've never had any trouble thus far.
:)
much as i want to say it aint so, it is.
take ElioAyla's original post, and add in the prussian-style public fool system, general economic warfare against both america and the middle class of the world, and other problems and issues, and i tend to come away with the impression that society/ the world at large has all but overtly declared war upon me, as part of the populace, as a matter of SOP.... and its very tempting to re/act accordingly, suit up in Molle gear and go all Red Dawn.... (As appropriate as such a response might be, from a certain point of view, it would, from the general mundane point of view, still be perceived as completely whackadoo.)
at the end of the day, the only thing that matters in society, for good or for ill, is the ability to project and inflict force and violence at a split-nano-seconds notice. Most of society is driven by the taxation, financial penalizing, and otherwise overt free-range exploitation of the poor (working or otherwise), on the premise of 'Give me your money..... Or Else.'
and the 'or else' can be anything from.... even more taxes and fines, eviction, forced confiscation of property, harassment and interference of work and career, and yes, including 4 to 12 big men, with guns and armor, rolling up in a truck at 2 am, and doing very barbaric and psychotic things to you, your family, your pets, ect ect - and all of it being as legal as apple pie, with ice cream, whipped cream, and a cherry on top.
Sad to say, but im inclined to not lie to myself, when i say that even though america is (thusfar still) a fairly decent country, it is not a nice and bright world we live in. Liberty is far more fragile and short-lived than we would like to think it is, and the world is far darker than it is presented to us as.
one possible solution, i think, may be to start advocating the mindset of situational awareness, and (to quote Firefly) 'if someone tries to kill you, you try to kill them right back', and to not stop at mace/pepper spray, but extend trans-peoples defenses to.... knives, collapsible batons (weather or not they're legal for civilian use ?), and possibly small guns ?
I feel your sadness and anger, but I'm not entirely sure I would be here If I had a small gun. For me I've decided i should avoid having guns after I was very sad and depressed and drove with lights off on the wrong side of a country road. I think more guns would mean more sucessful suicides by trans people. Bear spray might be a good option though, and if that doesn't work, maybe ballistic knives >:-)
I'm definitely getting a gun in the near future. Not because I've had any issues being trans but because I'm a woman. I'm going to be driving a scooter soon and well... no doors to lock. If I have to drive through a shady area, especially at night, I want to be able to protect myself at a stoplight.
The way that human beings treat everything around them is really deplorable at times. I honestly have not witnessed an extreme amount of it personally, but knowing that it happens makes me sick to my stomach. Almost more so because the idea of it baffles me. I can understand psychologically why people do the things they do, but I can't truly understand it in my heart.
I'm a fighter, always have been, so physical confrontation is something I enjoy. I'm not going to lie, I really love a good fight down to the pain and the heat after a solid punch. I. Love. It. But I've never started a physical confrontation with anyone. I use my powers for good (mostly), and the idea of getting into a fight with someone for no reason or simply because 'I don't like them.' is just insane. "Hey! You're not like me and make me insecure! Now I have to prove I'm not insecure!" What? D:
Your protection is important. And using any means necessary to defend yourself is important too. If you have to use physical violence, just remember that the person you're fighting is only human. Regardless of whether they are the scum of the earth, or some bottom feeding low life, murder is murder. So aim for their knees, shoulders or hands. :3
If you learn martial arts you should never need to use martial arts.
I know a mix of jujitsu and the kwon do, 2 men I knew decades ago taught me at work, they would walk up to me at random times and say "have I shown you this move?", a split second later I'd either have blocked a move or be pinned/in pain. They would then show me what they did and then id get to practice on them, they believed that it was better than traditional methods as an attacker rarely gives warning.
Once you are confident people sense that and will back down, if they have any brains :-)
In 20yrs only one person hasd gone so one so far as to swing for me, hm and his friends then ran for 15min. does anyone know of a martial art that will give me eyes in the back of my head?
Instantly reminded me of "Boys don't cry" about the life of Brandon Teena who was a transman and got murdered as well after they (his 'friends') found out (Actually based on true events)
Gosh, that movie made me cry, anyway, yah, it's my mom's biggest fear to be honest and what makes her reluctant of me transitioning.