Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: JJones on November 27, 2014, 05:22:10 PM

Title: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: JJones on November 27, 2014, 05:22:10 PM
So I'm pretty down and feeling so over dysphoric this evening. As expected word of my "coming out" has spread around my home town. Which is fine. Expected and everyone will end up knowing in the end.

However I was badly bullied at school for being a "bloke" (they knew before I did) they made my life hell and are part of the reason I found it hard accepting I was truly male.
Well tonight a few of these fools tried adding me on Facebook of course I rejected but it's just brought back all that anxiety and negative feelings

I hate that those feelings can still be so raw. Why is this so hard? Cis gendered people will never understand the heartache being transgender gives you. For so long.

Arrrgh. Sorry for the rant.
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: Devlyn on November 27, 2014, 05:49:36 PM
Big hug! Rant handling is our specialty! Overcoming hurdles makes us stronger people than most everyone else. Look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself of that.

Hugs, Devlyn
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: Trillium on November 27, 2014, 06:06:10 PM
'hugs' and more 'hugs' x
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: PinkCloud on November 27, 2014, 06:51:09 PM
Maybe they jealous? don't know... I quit facebook a long time ago, especially around the time "parents" started adding me... so childish and stalkerish. Best be aware of that place. It ruined my life in a strange way. No more social media for me.

Btw, you look great! :icon_yes: 
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: Orangaline on November 27, 2014, 09:47:12 PM
im sure we all can relate to the suckiness of bad dysphoria, lotsa support from this dude.
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: Athena on November 27, 2014, 09:49:31 PM
If it helps rant away
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: adrian on November 28, 2014, 03:37:57 AM
Hey man, I'm sorry. I can relate -- I was bullied at school for the same reason and I sometimes get really angry at these people for the power they still have over me and my feelings so many years later.

Walk away from them with your head held high! You're much stronger now for knowing who you are. That's something to take pride in!

Accept a bro-hug from me :)
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: JJones on November 28, 2014, 04:52:05 PM
Thanks for all your messages made me smile after another tough day (I'm now single) yay to all the fun of coming out.

Thanks pink ya made a guy smile today.

Adrian...I know bro they are ->-bleeped-<-s right. Wish I could wipe these people out my life. And thanks for the bro hug
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: Athena on November 28, 2014, 05:23:01 PM
One way to look at coming out, you get to be who you were meant to be. Those who bullied you are stuck in the mold society forced on them.
Title: Re: Not feeling too great tonight
Post by: PucksWaywardSon on November 28, 2014, 06:46:11 PM
I had one of my school bullies try to add me on facebook years ago (nothing to do with being trans, this was waaay before I figured that out, but it was over a decade after I'd left that school) and it threw me off for days - I couldn't figure out why she'd even WANT to. I can only imagine it's worse when the scars are specific to coming out.

Best advice, ignore the request and don't feel you owe ANYONE an explanation if you don't want to give it.

Childhood bullies do so much more damage to their victims than anyone ever talks about, the scars run so deep they can be hard to even recognise for what they are - you cope with what few tools your brain has available that young. (Things I'm learning now about how bullying shaped everything about how I deal - or don't - with emotions).