just curious whether anyone who transitions or completes their transition to whatever level has any sense no matter how huge or small or miniscule of helping others transition through the many obstacles we as transgenders encounter . I try to think that I'm helping even if only in a miniscule way by being here on Susan's. (disclaimer: this question is not intended to harm in any way, if said question unintentionally causes any degree of harm I am truly sorry. )also, there is no obligation implied , just curious.
As much as I am an eager to help person, I am an even more I want to end, or least lessen, your pain person. I help out wherever and however I can. My TG Support group is like my real family. A couple of angels there make it even more special as they helped me through my darkest of times. The moderator of the group told me when I was interviewed that there is only one thing she asks for in return, to give what you can. Even if it is just to show up.
My involvement will probably be about the same...I haven't yet had any TS people come up to me, but I have had several friends/relatives ask me, "Umm...what the heck is it, and what can I do to help my son/daughter in this process?" Apparently many times the transitioner him/herself is so involved in "the process" that they are unable to explain it to their nearest and dearest in terms they can understand.
So far, I've been able to translate the words they caught, and (using plain English) describe what a "typical" trans*person might want, in terms of support.
Being safe and accepted (which includes using correct pronouns; I've had to correct everyone who's come up to me) is really important.
But I don't go out and actively advertise. This is one of the perks of "not passing" LOL...people feel free to come up and assume that I know something! Which I do know a little, and any advice is always followed with, "Be sure to ask your friend/relative about this, too."
In the last 6 years I had been very active in a local chapter, and eventually a national chapter. Until I realized I was only giving, and forgetting myself in the process. So I quit, and became stealth in some way. It is also the reason why I do not post pictures or anything which can identify me, and if some people do recognize me, please do not reveal. I have chosen anonymity for multiple reasons. One, I became a target for stalking which eventually made me retreat from the chapters. I have given a great deal, and never asked anything in return. It was repaid with making my life more problematic than it was before.
I am relatively new to the transgender community as I have only been active for about a year. I do attend a support group even though they only meet once a month and I also chat online via either Facebook or other social mediums with others in the community. I have found many trans* people always willing to give helpful advice and even a supportive pat on the back. I personally want to be just as supportive and helpful as I progress down my own path.
I suppose the fact that I'm here answers the question. ;) I also agreed to be part of a diversity committee at my employer, and to appear on panels for them.
I do my best. I go to our support group every month and try to connect with newcomers. I also answer posts when I think I have answers that others might not.
Am I helping? Can't say for sure. Better to ask those people whose posts I've answered.
I'm not sure how far I'll take it, but I do like being here on Susan's and any road backwards has been totally obliterated for all eternity.
I want to.... long term from now... be a plastic surgeon for TG.
A part of me wants to help my community & be an avid supporter, but the other part is telling me not to get involved because one day I want to go stealth. Not sure if that's even possible for me, but it'd be a dream. Also, not sure if I really care enough, honestly.
Hi,
I help inter-sexed individuals with complicated endocrine systems. The computer models I work with at my job are very sophisticated.
I do LGBT+ High School visits
I speak in public every time I can. Seeing a transgender research scientist really unnerves some. I'm not a stereotype and I speak very well. (Way better than I write.)
I'm here..my home.
Hugs,
Jennifer
that's very enriching
I have not got there yet in fully transitioning, let alone moving onto surgery etc... if?
When I get there, I am more than willing to help others through my long years of trying to get there... My inner self sort of compels me, am I right; maybe not, but experience of all that I did or didn't do is maybe of help to someone, even if its just one person.
L Katy
I want to be semi stealth one day but I will always be there in the background. I feel that as trans woman of color and with my ethnicity and national origin we are under represented and it would be helpful to share my experiences.
I literally don't have any support groups locally I can go to. The nearest one is just too far to drive to at 2 hrs one way. I have toyed around with the idea of starting one here in my area tho. And, of course I'm here on Susan's. Here I'd like to think I have helped through answering posts and pm's. I've also made a few good friends here, and I'll continue to be a member here as long as y'all will have me.
@Jen; As one of those intersex girls with complicated Endocrine systems, I'd like to thank you for the help you have given, and continue to give me. I just hope one day I'll be knowledgeable enough to pay it forward. :icon_bunch:
Ally :icon_flower:
I work for a large non-profit that employs people across the borders of many states here in the US. I have worked pretty hard to put some things in place at my place of employment. Granted, I am still in transition and these things also benefit me, I did make sure that those benefits would be available to all employees of my employer.
*Transitioning openly and being very open with people at my work so they might better understand the trans* struggle (At least from my perspective).
*Convinced my workplace to adopt a trans-friendly health insurance policy (There is currently no coverage for trans* things including HRT and therapy).
*Wrote a small part about pronouns and why they are so important for the HR department to use in quarterly reports.
I am a very skilled part of the IT team so I used their dependence on my skill set to gain leverage (I threatened to quit and go to the media/civil rights groups). Those two things hit hard as immediately they implemented the thing about pronouns in the HR newsletter. As for the health care coverage, that begins when we change to this coming year's plan :)
This feels like small feats compared to the efforts other people have made towards the advancement of equality, however I can rest assured that my efforts at least have helped the ~1000 employees of my workplace. I would love to try and figure out some larger scale stuff.
My contribution hopefully would be helping getting change to policy in my country of birth, Trinidad and Tobago. I used to be politically active and I am connected to many political circles. My former MP when I lived there was close to me and I helped him in his constituency office and also to win reelection. I also helped out in other constituencies gathering exit polls and the like and working a computerized GOTV operation. The Prime Minister knows me as well and I want to go talk to her and I've met former presidents of that country too. They had a gender policy formulated but it stalled due to pressure from religious organizations. It is a tough hill to climb but I want to get it done.
Here in NJ/NYC area I will support those just starting out and offer guidance to those who ask but there is no shortage of resources here. Of course I always plan to be a part of Susan's and other places.
I definitely feel a need to "pay it forward." The trans community has been extraordinarily helpful to me, unquestionably welcoming and friendly, and I feel it's my obligation to give something back. Time, money, expertise, whatever I can afford. And while I never plan on being stealth and hiding my trans background, if for whatever reason in the future I do end up stealth and living a completely female life, I'll still make damn sure I contribute to the trans community rather than considering it a part of my past that I don't want to associate with.
Very few people transition in a bubble. We all have had help in the past, and there are going to be countless new transgender people following in our footsteps who'll need us to help them when the time comes. I look forward to the time I'm able to make a difference in someone else's life.
I was mostly stealth throughout High School (especially when I turned 18, and the hormones did all they can do), Came out in college and was an advocate, I'm stealth again, but will continue helping in the background. My goal is to be a big time advocate for LGBT issues in the Catholic Church.
I don't like being a burden to others so don't expect me to ask for help in a straight manner. I don't like to expose my inner feelings but joining this forum has been of great help with that. Now I feel like I could talk about that subject with an open heart.
Just hope I can help others. While I'm not sure I'm doing any good to the community I'm trying my best to. Soon will be posting photos... Just waiting a bit to get more passable lol
By the way there are support groups in a building near office but I've read in a blog they're just awful. I pass.
Although my transition is far from finished, I'm far enough in the process that I cannot be considered a newbie and I think I learned a lot of things over the years. I've read lot about trans* issues in the last 10 years or so. From my experience I know more about trans* related issues than most trans* people who finished the transition process by their definition. I work closely with the local trans* organization, helping them where I can, professionally and personally as well. I try to help newcomers with the right information when I can and try to clean their head from the large amounts of misinformation circulating endlessly. I really hope I can make a difference, however small.
I'm working with HR in my company to at least get them to respond to the HRC's Corporate Equality Survey when they receive it. They're a high-tech company in the valley yet don't seem to get it that people look at this stuff, and the good karma you get from getting the 100% rating or even a respectable score requires an incredibly small investment. Hopefully they'll get ahead of this issue before the 2016 guidelines go into effect and they get calls from the many customers on the 100% list who will now be asking their suppliers to demonstrate a commitment in this area.
I'm being open about it, using my name instead of an anonymous submission to HR, even though I'm totally still presenting as male, so there may be some speculation as to which letter or letters in the acronym I am. :)
I'm finding that the farther into transition I get and the more I present as my true self the more I feel the need to reach out in some way.