I was just wondering what peoples thoughts are on this if possible? I feel like this is me but other then my closest friends anyone I have told has not understood what I have meant when I say I feel this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Thank you :)
Of course. Inversely, there are plenty of butch mtf lesbians too.
I'm wondering how people might take it if I tell them. My friends and boyfriend are supportive, but I have a rather 'old fashioned' family and I'm not sure exactly what to do about them. Reading about others who have gone through the same thing on here is a big help.
Sexuality, gender, gender expression, gender identity, these are all so fluid. You define yourself however you like, and if you want to define yourself. Or you can just say "->-bleeped-<- it" and be yourself, and not give a sh*t what anyone else thinks.
Now, if you try to explain this to other people, especially those who like to categorise people into little boxes with clear, concise labels, you're going to get some weird looks and a few "But I thought that X means you're Y, and that Alphas are never Betas, and blah blah blah." There will even be, "No, that's not right. If you're X, then you act like Y. End of. And I know this because I know a guy whose friend's cousin's college roommate's sister was X, and she acted like Y."
Ugh.
Just do what makes you happy and harms no one.
I don't subscribe to the "born in X body" philosophy personally, but as a relatively effeminate gay trans man, I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
I have a southern family and I just explained it them as "I'm transitioning to male, yes I still like men, no my husband and I are not getting a divorce." Aside from a few people I haven't had much flak for it. If anything they think its cute that I still knit.
Quote from: VivianK on November 29, 2014, 10:55:29 PM
Of course. Inversely, there are plenty of butch mtf lesbians too.
I know this to be absolutely true. My ex wife from 20 years ago started out in life to be a masculine man and fought in Vietnam before transitioning to becoming a woman.
I don't subscribe to the wrong body theory either. But I do think it is quite possible to be gay and effeminate and be a trans guy. Or a tough masculine butch lesbian and be a trans woman.
You are what you are.
--Jay
Of course! Gender identity =| gender presentation =| sexual orientation. "Effeminate" gay men are still men. It's a stereotype of trans folks that they have to be hyperfemme or hypermasculine in their target gender presentation. Some do that for a while, but we're on the same spectrum of gender expression as cis people.
Quote from: Kit.the.Kat on November 29, 2014, 10:31:25 PM
I was just wondering what peoples thoughts are on this if possible? I feel like this is me but other then my closest friends anyone I have told has not understood what I have meant when I say I feel this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Thank you :)
effeminate gay man.... can you elaborate a bit more?
Well, when you're born you're out of a woman's* body...
*unless your birthing parent is trans
Quote from: Kit.the.Kat on November 29, 2014, 10:31:25 PM
I was just wondering what peoples thoughts are on this if possible? I feel like this is me but other then my closest friends anyone I have told has not understood what I have meant when I say I feel this way. Has anyone had an experience like this? Thank you :)
This is probably me. "Probably" if I'm not bi, and on days when I'm certain that I'm a man. Recent days have taken me on a mind trip, but that's another topic.
I had a gay FTM friend in high school, long before I ever considered that I might be trans, and ironically I thought he was just confused. I didn't know anything about transgender issues or the myriad ways one can express their gender identity. Most people think that if you're trans, it means you want to be the exact opposite sex (nothing in between), and that you want to be straight in the end (so they would assume that an FTM wants to date girls). A common belief is that if you're female and you like men, you'd be making your life harder by transitioning to male, so why bother? I hope this offers some insight as to why your friends may be confused.