When I'm feeling dysphoric, I like to get my hair cut. I find it therapeutic or something.
What do you guys do to ease your gender dysphoria?
Hair cut is definitely helping me, although I can't afford to do it as often as I like.
I take pictures in angles that my body can appear more masculine and muscular.
Frequently I just dress up in nice shirt, pants and tie for no special occasion.
Sometimes having other people loving my body makes me feel better, so I only have sex/ intimate behaviors with people who understand and respect limits.
Wearing stuff you like seems to me like it help a lot. For some reason I've always felt like the surest way to make me feel better when I'm feeling low is for me to get a haircut. Ever since I cut it (relatively) short the first time, it's been something I want to get done all the time. My hair is really bothering me these days though..
I'm not quite sure how dysphoria works for me though or if I even ever feel it..
Think about all the positives. Dysphoria is generally nonexistent these days.
Haircut for sure. What is it about a trim that somehow feels like a fresh start every time?
Cameron's Super Weird But Tried-And-True Dysphoria Busters:
- Work out. My number one. 100 push ups and/or running 'til I can't no more. For me, muscle tired is brain chill.
- If I'm not packing, I start. Dick in the pants, a stupid thing that makes a world of difference.
- Stand just right in front of the mirror. This one's hard, but awesome. If I stand (feet shoulder width apart) in front of a mirror so that about half my body is visible, then cover my chest with one hand and my visible hip/thigh with the other, my brain autofills the half I can't see "correctly." It's almost like I can see the body I'm supposed to have. I don't know if this works for everyone, or hell, ANYONE, but it's so profoundly relieving on the rare occasion that I can pull it off that I thought I'd share.
- Loud music.
- "White dad" all my food: aka, order everything way spicier than I should out of some misplaced bravado. Cry my way through my Thai food. But with pride and the assurance that everyone in the world SURELY MUST know I'm tough.
- Admit that my masculinity is fragile and buy/use some unnecessarily gendered crap. Manly yogurt. Dude soap. Intellectually, I know that there's no reason my bodywash needs to tell it's for Powerful Men, but you know what, f**k it, I'll take it.
- Trans youtube, which I just discovered.
- Giant blanket. Can't see me, can't touch me, invincible under the covers.
- Pet a dog. Pet it again.
- Go for a longass walk with my ipod in.
- Booze. Can't be recommended in good faith, but if I'm being honest. My go-to.
- Watch an episode some terrible TV show full of pretty dudes crying. Imagine myself growing up to look like Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Pretend to be handsome and sad, instead of just sad. This usually happens after the aforementioned boozing.
- ... And If I'm really desperate, I'll try and coax a "he," "him," "brother," or "sir" out of someone online.
That list made me chuckle. Very nice.
Honestly.. my way isn't one that's outwardly available or one to rely on permanently since it involves me utilizing my PMDD medication.
What I did prior to my depression going into overdrive though was to do something with my girlfriend whether it was watch a movie or something way more intimate. it helped because I knew I was her man. but since losing her I just kind of drink vodka and watch Futurama or take a pill and sleep it off.
Not.. great ways.. but I'm dealing with everything without much support now so i've kind of turned into that guy. After everything is moving though I think Ill feel better. It'll help when I have distractions.
Quote from: captains on November 30, 2014, 09:08:43 PM
- Admit that my masculinity is fragile and buy/use some unnecessarily gendered crap. Manly yogurt. Dude soap. Intellectually, I know that there's no reason my bodywash needs to tell it's for Powerful Men, but you know what, f**k it, I'll take it.
Haha, I bought a bar of soap that admittedly doesn't smell all that masculine but said "Manly Beast" on it so... Jut made me very happy I took an unnecessary shower when I got back home.
I've gotten into the habit of taking walks with loud angry music blasting through my ears, but that doesn't really do much for me except that it lets me ignore the things I should be doing and just, live through the anger and distress? Sometimes you need to let yourself do that I suppose.
Read something that isn't about trans stuff at all, something about dragons usually helps me
Do something with my hands, crafting things, making gifts for the holidays, sewing, crocheting, baking etc
Talk it out with myself, either write it down or legit just say it out loud and vent to myself lol
Make something that I can break, this works a ton legit. I will make something flammable or easily breakable out of cardboard and just go out in the backyard and put it in a fire pit, beat it up.
Quote from: captains on November 30, 2014, 09:08:43 PM
Cameron's Super Weird But Tried-And-True Dysphoria Busters:
I love that list! Working out is definitely one of my go-tos. Self-care, generally, is something I've started using to combat dysphoria. I'm not on T, and at least a year or so from being in a position I could start, which is very, very hard sometimes. The idea of me ever presenting successfully as male with my estrogen-dominant body is pitfully funny. But I do things that I can think of as steps in that direction. Work out=more muscle. Eat better=less fat. Skin care=less zits. Therapy=less crazy (my word for me, nobody else has to go there). All things that prepare me to get the most out of hormone therapy when and if the time comes.
I do creative stuff, sometimes-- mostly write or draw, some music. I zone out to escapist media. I get dressed up in my most masculine duds and go out to a coffeeshop, see if I can provoke any double-takes. (*not* passing as female is success, in my book). Sadly, none of it is terribly successful so far. So, mostly, when I'm feeling dysphoric I just live with it. Got lots of practice at that. I think I may have to try a few more off of Cameron's list, though!
It's weird but I buy underwear. Some colorful trunks from American Eagle. I have way too many. I just ordered 3 more because they were on sale and I was feeling gross about myself.
Quote from: captains on November 30, 2014, 09:08:43 PM
Cameron's Super Weird But Tried-And-True Dysphoria Busters:
DUDE SOAP!
I agree with haircuts. I have clippers so whenever I'm having a bad day, I get a little balder.
Sometimes I declare underwear day at my house and assert my masculinity via boxer briefs and a ridiculous bulge.
Or I'll talk to girls that I know find me attractive. Other people wanting my bod makes me like my bod a little more.
Also, pizza. Actually, I should rephrase: pizzas.
I pack, do nothing, go to sleep, or start walking more "manly" (or what I perceive to be manly). I should start exercising more to help.
Quote from: CursedFireDean on December 01, 2014, 03:13:40 PM
It's weird but I buy underwear. Some colorful trunks from American Eagle. I have way too many. I just ordered 3 more because they were on sale and I was feeling gross about myself.
I do this! I'm starting to build a collection of fun printed boxers :p And I crawl into the couch with one of the hoodies my brother gave: they're big, cuddly and my brother gave them to me as his brother (sometimes he treats me as his little brother even though I'm older :p )
Metal. Speed, heavy, death, whatever. And I headbang to hell and back
Man hair cuts stress me out. So many years of getting the "girly" version of what I actually asked for (even if I gave a picture example).
but to the root of the question... Video games.
Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 02, 2014, 03:05:36 PM
Metal. Speed, heavy, death, whatever. And I headbang to hell and back
This, minus the head banging. It gives me headaches :-\
I also try to find other ways to distract myself, talking to people on Facebook is ussually a good one. And otherwise, my cats :P
Quote from: strapping_young_lad on December 03, 2014, 06:09:18 AM
This, minus the head banging. It gives me headaches :-\
I also try to find other ways to distract myself, talking to people on Facebook is ussually a good one. And otherwise, my cats :P
Well, then kinda dance around in circles and air guitar, that helps, or air drums can be good too!
Quote from: fitzyfoop on December 02, 2014, 03:05:36 PM
Metal. Speed, heavy, death, whatever. And I headbang to hell and back
I've only recently realized the reason I've been gradually listening to heavier and heavier music, went from listening to almost exclusively alternative rock to exploring thrash and death metal over the last few months, in less than a year. I've been continually searching for heavier and heavier stuff, and now I know it's because of all the anger I felt. Angry metal ftw. My sister freaks out when I headbang while driving...
My wardrobe still has mostly women's clothes in it, so I'll put on what few man clothes I have. Since I stay at home all day (I watch kids), sometime I'll go for a walk or go out to a store and just try to act as natural as possible. Natural as in let my natural man-self out.
Otherwise I usually just end up ruminating and being unproductive, and checking myself in the mirror a lot to see who I find there. So I'm really glad this thread exists.