Right now I'm just feeling so down. :(
I, I... I've lost my female voice. I mean I still have it and can somewhat use it but, for whatever reason, it's become hard impossible for me to use it this last week, especially while having a conversation versus a word or two. I just realized this and recorded myself and no wonder the newish bosses were calling me a he. :( (Though they quickly re-corrected themselves but it still hurt) I hope I can regain it, this, this is just horrible. It's bad enough my Dysphoria has been acting up and I'm having a tough time wanting to continue to live in this body under these circumstances especially seeing how I can't give birth, can't experience the exact feeling of how a vagina formed at birth feels and I hate looking in the mirror or at myself and seeing a man or any of this useless hair and thing on my body. :'(
I'm sure I'll pull through this, just got to get my mind off it (Easier said than done) but I also know how fragile I really am and how easily I could do something stupid I'd regret. Dang! Why'd I have to be born this way!? :'(