Have a job interview on Wednesday. I already have a job - one that I'm very unhappy in mind you - so it's not the end of the world if I don't get it, but I get the feeling this will be a good opportunity for me and I'm keen to leave where I am currently; the pressure is on! It'll be my first ever job interview as a woman, so "eek". Been trying to work out what I'll be wearing ever since Friday!! ;D If there's one thing I'm actually really good at though is pretending I'm cool and relaxed when I'm really wetting myself... but only up to a point. Pass that point and I probably am wetting myself. I know the organisation, their building and some of the people there, including a manager and believe I am well regarded so it is a definite plus. But still OMG. Job interview.
If that wasn't fun enough I'm having lunch with my parents on Saturday, as in my mother AND father. Mum has been great with my transition, accepting and supportive - we've met up three times over the last nine months and talk on the phone every weekend. My dad has been much less accepting - "I'm still his son" and he has, up until now not been prepared to meet with me. That he has agreed to this lunch is a bit of a surprise, most likely a sign of change of attitude, but is also scary as @#$%. I'm looking forward to it in the same way one might look forward to their first parachute jump, adrenaline pumped dread. Dunno, could be great, might be horrible. Still, it seems like a step in the right direction...we shall see!
Good luck with the job interview...just concentrate on what you can bring to the organisation, and not why you are unhappy with your current job.
As for the part about meeting with your parents...all I can say is be prepared for any number of unexpected events to occur. Your father may have warmed to your transition. He may be meeting with you to say this is the last time he ever wants to see you (I doubt it though). He may be telling you he has won lotto and giving you half of it...you wont know until you meet with them, so be prepared for anything.
Quote from: Asniceasme on December 07, 2014, 02:10:05 AM
...not why you are unhappy with your current job.
Very good point, thanks for the reminder!
QuoteHe may be telling you he has won lotto and giving you half of it...
We live in hope!! ;D
Hiya Grace
Having witnessed your transition from another continent over the past 9 months, it has been very clear that you have blossomed spectacularly. You've had some interesting experiences, worthy of a movie, and it's obvious that Grace is now very comfortable in her skin.
So, for both meetings, is there any reason why you should not arrive as yourself, relaxed and at ease? You're going to be fine! :D
I can sympathise with your dilemma relating to choosing outfits. Ha- sounds like every damn woman I know!
Good luck, and report back to us when you can!
xxx
Julia
Wow.....big stuff. Will PM shortly.
Good luck, Grace.
Per the job interview: I hope for their sake they'll hire you. Otherwise they'll be missing out on a terrific employee.
Per Dad, same thing: I hope he accepts you as you are. I can speak from experience that raising a daughter is a special and wonderful opportunity and it would be serious tragedy for him if he missed out because he could not open his eyes to the amazing woman he brought into this world.
Hugs.
I am free at the mo and working on my own stuff in the city, so gimme a call and I can be there in no time for hugs, passing checks, anything you need :)
Good luck with the Interview on Wednesday, know you'll do well...
Best wishes for the time with your mother & father, hope that things are on the mend with your dad...
L Katy :-*
could be time for a new business outfit or a good excuse for a shopping spree .
I am sending good thoughts you way.
The interview, they will be lucky to get you :)
With the holidays approaching, I have my fingers crossed your Dad is accepting.
Congratulations on the interview, best of success!
Hi Grace, good luck with everything.
I just wanted to say a few things that you may already know, but perhaps it will be useful.
I'd try to go in with the expectation that its the first of many job interviews. Hopefully it will take some pressure off, but its also good practice for the one you really want. And even if you decide you don't want the job during the course of the interview, keep going and try to get it - you'll feel great if you do, and again its practice. You can always turn it down later.
Never say anything negative about your current employer or relations with other staff. It can only have a bad affect on your chances. i.e. you not leaving because its bad, but because its great its time for a change or to grow, etc. Unless they know to look here of course - that could be tricky.
Personally I think its really important to interview them as well - its not a one way process. You need to know that you want to work with them.
There's plenty of websites on interview technique.
I agree about the part about it being the first of many.
When I was job hunting I was so sure I'd get particular jobs... then I interviewed... then radio silence... or a rejection letter.
But the phone rings off the hook and I get other jobs and interviews.
In 2007 I had the luxury of choosing between multiple offers. I ended up where I am because I chose a good package and senior position.
That said I had one job where I was just recruited out of the blue. It was a vendor who did some work for us, wanted me to be a field engineer. Better pay and room for advancement so I took it.
Best of luck, Grace!
In the short duration of time spent in this forum I have read many of your posts. From these readings a few points seem to emerge, your compassion, intelligence, and ability to perceive the subtle nuance held within one's narrative, and when combined in my estimation these should carry any person through any situation. One last thing is, you come across as just a generally happy person so I'm guessing your dad will pick up on this and softening of opinion will take place. This is a cool oppurtunity, on many fronts, happy for you. Dani
P.S. I'll bet the clothes you do end up picking out will dazzle :)
Thanks for the encouragement and support. I did a bit of reading up on the organisation this morning and make sure I frame my interview around what I can offer them rather than my woes with the current employer. Fingers crossed.
As for my dad, he can be stubborn but I'll go in and just be myself. I've had nine months as me now so feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable in how I present so that has to be a plus.
Had the job interview this morning - I feel it went pretty good but not sure if it will be enough to get me the job. I felt remarkably relaxed and gave what I believe were fairly coherent responses to the questions. It is a job with graphic design requirement, I took along some of my work and they seemed to like it. So it was positive, and having talked to them a bit more about the job and the team I'd be working with I'm quite excited about the job... the fact that I would get a substantial pay increase helps of course! Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support.
I probably won't know until next Monday or Tuesday so I'll have to not think about it and twiddle my fingers in the meantime...! Saw another job advertised which I'll apply for just in case this one didn't pan out.
Now only two and a bit days until my lunch date with dad... :icon_omfg:
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 10, 2014, 05:08:57 AM
Had the job interview this morning - I feel it went pretty good but not sure if it will be enough to get me the job. I felt remarkably relaxed and gave what I believe were fairly coherent responses to the questions. It is a job with graphic design requirement, I took along some of my work and they seemed to like it. So it was positive, and having talked to them a bit more about the job and the team I'd be working with I'm quite excited about the job... the fact that I would get a substantial pay increase helps of course! Thanks everyone for your encouragement and support.
I probably won't know until next Monday or Tuesday so I'll have to not think about it and twiddle my fingers in the meantime...! Saw another job advertised which I'll apply for just in case this one didn't pan out.
Now only two and a bit days until my lunch date with dad... :icon_omfg:
Fingers x'd for interview feedback... sure you did good
Good luck for 2 and a bit days time ;)
L Katy
Grace I wish you good luck with this stuff. You seem like a caring and thoughtful person to me so I hope you get the job, it sounds like you have a good chance anyway. Also hope you can hold on to your relaxed confidence from the job interview when you meet your dad! He can't deny you're doing better being yourself.
Hey Grace,
Good luck with your Dad. As you know, time changes views and hopefully as he see's you as who you really are over time he can have peace.
But really its not about him. We can't control the way others feel only do the best we can.
I have grown so much over the year and have come to the place where I have so much love from others if someone does not get it.. I just shrug it off and I actually feel for them for not having the ability to really look past the physical body and love us for who we are.
For example, my daughter at first said she would never let me see her kids.... and now she is my biggest ally and says she loves the real me more than ever.. in fact she is going to therapy with me today and she told her six year old daughter last night about grandpa.. being a girl on the inside.
So, you never know.. blessings come in some unexpected ways .. I hope your Dad comes around
Luv,
Keri :)
Grace,
Having been on both sides of the interview table, I can say that you may or may not know whether you get it. When I interview people I try not to give it away but when I get an obviously unqualified candidate the interview ends sooner rather than later. If I get a superstar we may talk for a lot just to get the breadth and depth of his/her knowledge. Then sometimes I might get an internal candidate pushed on me last minute, who is pretty much guaranteed to take the spot (because his/her boss made a deal with mine), even though he/she needs plenty of bringing up to speed. I have had two of those, one of which was a total disaster and became a project manager when he couldn't cope and another who actually turned out quite well even though he needed a LOT of hand holding in the beginning.
So don't feel too bad if you don't get it, but here's hoping you do!
Still no word on the job, but I was told by someone I know who works there that Thursday evening was the staff Xmas party and that, consequently, Friday staffing was a skeleton crew so I'd be unlikely to hear anything until Monday. Sounds like they have good parties! Anyway, I'll wait and see, if I haven't heard anything by the end on Monday I'll figure the gig is up and I'll need to look elsewhere.
As for the lunch with my father yesterday... I'm still processing that.
Objectively I think I can say it went well. Subjectively I was disappointed he felt compelled to call me by my male name but I decided to ignore that.
Overall, things got better as the lunch progressed, conversation was about general stuff - I should note that my supportive mother was there too. My father never talks much but he contributed to the conversation at least as much as he usually does, he was in a reasonable mood and even laughed a number of times. There was no discussion of my transition, I was modestly dressed but unmistakably female in my presentation (my mother said she really like my skirt!)... and I figure, like me, he is now processing the interaction. I'll have to hear what, if anything, he thinks via my mother at some point. My only hope is that he'll see that, female appearance aside, I am the same person, albeit happier.
Good luck. You're right about the holidays. Our vacation calendar is fully booked and hiring usually resumes full speed afterwards.
How did he know your male name though? Oh never mind that's your dad. Trying to juggle decorating the tree here and kids bouncing around lol.
I'm going through the hiring process myself right now as well. Sometimes it's tough to know how well you've done. I felt like I bombed a first interview earlier this week and then they invited me in for a second interview. So best of luck...and hopefully it won't be too torturous waiting to hear from them. :)
good luck
Hope you get some good news early next week.
I too have been waiting for a go ahead for a role that is mine (contract) but no start due to Xmas and new year, no value in starting anyone prior... also, generally company focus is on numbers not HR at this time of year :-\
Glad lunch was good, shame about the acceptance... but sounds a positive step in the right direction ;)
L Katy
That's good news all around Grace. I had a vision of Dad jumping up and berating you!
I know our hiring process is down until the New year so it may take a few weeks to get a reply from the interview.
Good Luck Hon
Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 14, 2014, 01:44:06 AM
Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.
Are you visiting them over Christmas? If so think of having a nice make over, sexy dress and looking a $million. Should scare the bejesus out of him :laugh:
Sadly I don't think I will be. Xmas is at my sister's this year and since she's still a hold out regarding me meeting her 10 year old daughter (who apparently I might "confuse the sexuality of", according to her counsellor) I am not invited. :P No worries, if it's a nice day I might go to the beach instead.
I'm alone Christmas day as well, the bikini may get a workout on the beach - haven't done that before :o
How exciting! Terrifying, but exciting! I'm rooting for you, and we expect details! I'll be in your shoes before too long, never been to a job interview presenting female before, kind of terrified and not totally sure what to wear. I hope your meeting with your parents go well. GOOD LUCK! Go get 'em girl! ^_^
I will also be alone for Christmas and snow is predicted, maybe I'll put on a bikini and sit in the yard
Wishing you all the best for your job prospects Grace, you're a rather bright and intellegent gal, I'm sure something good will turn up
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 14, 2014, 01:44:06 AM
Thanks everyone. I think the issue with my father still using my male name is denial but also him trying to exert some sense of control on the situation. I'm just going to ignore him for the time being and pretend that he isn't doing it.
I think you've nailed it. Maybe kind of a "you can live like a woman but I'll accept you when I'M ready" assertion. Like you said, you can't control him, so ignoring him might be the best option. Probably good each time you meet with him to say at least once "please call me Grace" so he doesn't start thinking you've become OK with it.
BTW love the Christmas avatar pic!
Thanks!
And yes, I think that's good advice.
Ohhhh I wish your sister was more accepting. What if your niece told her: "why did I have to wait so long to meet Aunt Gracie" when you met? It would be awesome :) I wish you a Merry Christmas!!! Oh we need xmas smilies btw!!
I'll be alone too, I'll think I'll buy a bikini and cook a turkey and some rutabaga
Quote from: Auroramarianna on December 14, 2014, 05:20:36 AM
Ohhhh I wish your sister was more accepting. What if your niece told her: "why did I have to wait so long to meet Aunt Gracie" when you met?
That's my concern too, that my niece might eventually hold it against my sister for keeping me a "secret". It's not that my sister isn't accepting, it's that she's received some very bad advice from her (stupid) counsellor... :P
Quote from: stephaniec on December 14, 2014, 05:26:14 AM
I'll be alone too, I'll think I'll buy a bikini and cook a turkey and some rutabaga
Are you cooking the turkey in your bikini...?
I have to , its winter in Chicago , I could join the polar bear club though , but the lake isn't frozen yet so I'll just have to go with the turkey cooking
Fingers crossed for the job Grace. Your dad sounds a lot like mine was, but not with me, my brother who came out as gay when he was 19. My dad just never mentioned it, albeit my brother and partner (male) were both coming to christmas yet it was as if he would just rather not know. But he did come round and was very accepting, but still never talked about it.
Hopefully your dad will come around Grace - the fact that he knows about you and hasn't rejected you is a good sign I think. Just be polite but firm about him calling you Grace, but make sure he knows that you are still his child too. Your dad is dealing with a lot of feelings right now, and him knowing that you have not morphed into some strange creature and he can still see "you" is reassuring to him.
I'm sure that you will get offered the job. It would be their loss if they don't extend a job offer to you.
My parents wavered and waffled around for awhile but somewhere in that process they reached a decision to reject me. At least I know how they feel, and that issue is settled for once and for all. Makes holiday planning easier too :)
Jeez, I have posted so rarely, my posting muscles have atrophied since I have restarted my account.
It seems that the interview is over but...
Remember this, if you can do the job and are worthy of the job, you deserve the job. Life comes down to what we believe that we deserve. You are an inspiration to me and many here. That may not mean you are able to do the job, I think though that you would not have applied for a job that you could not do. Eh, I guess that what I am saying is, step boldly act decisively, trust the tools you have, some of us will be proud of you no matter what.
As for your father. Sweetie, I would give anything for my father to know me as something other then the sissy boy he accused me of being. Sadly he died when I was eleven, long before even I knew why I was so different. There is still hope right? :)
Thanks everyone, it has been awesomely encouraging to have you all rooting for me (even if 'rooting' means something entirely different in Australian vernacular ;D ). Sadly there hasn't been a peep on the job front and given they had said they'd let me know by Monday (now well and truly over here in Oz) it doesn't bode well. Onto Plan C...!
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 15, 2014, 04:20:02 AM
Thanks everyone, it has been awesomely encouraging to have you all rooting for me (even if 'rooting' means something entirely different in Australian vernacular ;D ). Sadly there hasn't been a peep on the job front and given they had said they'd let me know by Monday (now well and truly over here in Oz) it doesn't bode well. Onto Plan C...!
Learned about that from our dear friend Cindy so I couldn't help but have a bit of a laugh
Still holding out hope for you to find something suitable, never give up hope dear
Hugs
'hugs' I wish you better luck with the next x
Thanks! I have another application ready to go today.
Best of luck Grace, we are interviewing now too but hiring is hard at this time of year, for everyone involved.
Between storms and total fire bans hopefully we have some sensible beach weather over the new year period.