Having had some real life intimacy experience, I ran into some issues physically.
Currently I can take a 1.5 wide dilator, which is 3.8cm - 4cm in diameter. Problem is, some guys have bigger girth... It takes about 10-15 minutes to work up to the widest dilator of 1.5 inch. When I had intimacy with a guy, I did not lubricate it (forgot) and I did not dilate for at least 8 hours. So, it became somewhat problematic. It didn't went in far enough, maybe 2 inches or so.
Now what I notice with dilating, I need to relax the muscle to take in 1.5 inch. I really have to feel comfortable, which I did not do while being intimate with a guy.
So do I need to dilate more? (just 7 weeks post-op) or do I need to learn to relax the PC muscle?
This is all so new to me, and I am really looking for some answers...
Here is the best thing I can say, keep up with the dilations they are so super important for the first year, what I did during my dilation regimen (ask your dr before you decide on something new) is I twisted and sometimes swayed it side to side and up in down. it helped loosed up the pc muscle, but since you are pretty fresh I'd be careful. also right before I decided it was "time" I did a quick 10-15 minute dilation. and even then it hurt still, and yes I bled ,but afterward it got all better actually great so I suppose I had to break in a lil. I relate that first time to probably like a virgin first time, it hurt for a lil bit, bled, but got better, and remember lube!
Thanks! preparing with some minor dilation beforehand is a good idea, I'll try it next time. :)
What I do now for dilation is instead of laying on my back to dilate, I spread my legs open and go on top of the dilator like how you'd ride a guy cowboy style on top of him.
Then I slowly push down, gradually going in and out till it goes in and in different angles till I feel it's the right angle to have the dilator go in. Once I do that, it's almost full in, then I stand up, try to push the dilator in more then I use panties to hold the dilator in and walk carefully around the house, and carefully not bending too much.
After 10 minutes, use my second dilator which still a little painful but is getting more loose doing the whole process but with dilator 2 in, since it's more wider, I'm more careful. I walk around with my panties holding it in and I adjust the dilator from time to time until it feels comfortable.
After 30 minutes, take it out then wait again to do it later throughout the day.
But everyone has a different way of dilating. I find the way I dilate more easier for me.
isnt it dilators are hard plastic material? how could you possible put it all in and walk around? Im using soulsource dilators.
I cant imagine myself walking around while mr green is inside >_<
Quote from: chinee05 on December 21, 2014, 06:44:23 PM
isnt it dilators are hard plastic material? how could you possible put it all in and walk around? Im using soulsource dilators.
I cant imagine myself walking around while mr green is inside >_<
I did once. It was not comfortable, but I was able to get it to stay in.
Quote from: suzifrommd on December 22, 2014, 08:50:45 AM
I did once. It was not comfortable, but I was able to get it to stay in.
But wouldnt that damage or cause tear the vaginal canal inside?
Very early in the process when there is stitches and everything is healing it very well could. I have dilated in the shower before and while doing makeup but not until all the stitches are gone.
At nearly 6 months I'm stuck with Mr Green and honestly think that that is the limit of my width due to the relative narrowness of my sit bones.Depth is a bit of an issue too.With my legs apart knees bent Mr Blue goes to 4 inches(at the front).Still,sensation and cosmetically all is good.I had my surgery with Dr Saran back in July.He doesn't dissect the peritoneal reflection and so depth achievable is limited by your anatomy.
don't use a smooth hard plastic dilator as supplied by surgeons as they cause 'stiction' which is sticking and friction due to the smoothness pushing lube away and then sticking to the flesh.
get a dilator or dildo with long shallow grooove/wavy line running along its length as this will not push away th elube and will go in and out easily.
And one it is in try wiggle it up down, left right to really stretch the new scar tissue inside.
Woh, only 7 weeks post-op. Slow down!!!
Things will get looser over time as long as you are diligent regarding your dilation. In my experience you do go through a period of of tightening (around the 6 week mark) and it can be a real fight. But once you get through that things settle down.
Dilating just before sex can also make things soo much easier, just bring your dilators along :)
yikes.
ok, from an older girls stand point.
first, there was one huge err in the op's plan for intamacy.
anytime you are going into a situation where intamacy, and sexual activity is possable, you must carry lube.
in all the years, with all the girls ive talked wih, lube is essential. it aint gonna be pleasureable without it.
check at your local pharmacy, they sell single use packets of lube that easily carry in purse or pocket. stash a few in the car, the purse, etc.
a great time to apply is when he is putting on his condom. PLEASE, dont go there if hes not weraring one. we are just as likely to contact STD's as any other girl. also it greatly increases the chances of a bacterial infection, and makes clean up much harder if hes not sporting a rain coat.
Early on in my post life, lube in place, an extra setting near by, i would have previously made sure he knew about me, and at that moment, I would remind him . some of my lines were, ' be gentle, take your time, its not broken in yet" , OR, " its scared, so go easy until it gets to know you".
i learned also, that though a guy isnt like plastic, and the penis will fit even if a bit bigger then the dialiator, there is a point where i say no way. a guys size can hurt, even if it fits. im not the type to just ' do it' to make him happy, while I lay there in pain or extreme discomfort. ill let him bitch and moan, call names, what ever, its my cooter, its my call. ... its not like you can measure it before things get hot. and when that critical moment arrives, and he flops out something that resembles a Anaconda, thats as thick as your wrist, you have to make the call thats right for you.
never be afraid to say "NO"
a lot of us older girls also only got 6 inches of depth, on a good day. so all the above applies to a guys length. we all trust them to respect our limits, but we also know how that can go. some will find that the thicker a dialiator is, the less depth they realise. that applies in the real life experiance also. in time, you learn to guage what will work, be comfortable, and safe.
bottom line. you are only so big, so deep. Part of the sexual equation is that it be pleasurable and enjoyable for you too. lube is essential so carry it all the time, and understand that some guys may just be too big for you. there is no shame in that, or in saying no at the last minute. Even genetic females will tell you that. only you can protect yourself in that way, and as for condoms, no rain coat, no play. that should be a firm rule every time.
Quote from: lilredneckgirl on January 22, 2015, 06:25:47 AM
yikes. 7 weeks post? girl, to coin some phrases, " pump your brakes, slow your roll" . your pushin it a bit. give it time to heal. let the swelling go down. then learn to live with it, emotionaly, before you start driving it around the block. there shouldnt be any rush, after all, its yours for the rest of your life. remember, " with one of ' these', you can have as many of 'them' as you want. it aint a race... its a journey...
ok, from an older girls stand point.
first, there was one huge err in the op's plan for intamacy.
anytime you are going into a situation where intamacy, and sexual activity is possable, you must carry lube.
in all the years, with all the girls ive talked wih, lube is essential. it aint gonna be pleasureable without it.
check at your local pharmacy, they sell single use packets of lube that easily carry in purse or pocket. stash a few in the car, the purse, etc.
a great time to apply is when he is putting on his condom. PLEASE, dont go there if hes not weraring one. we are just as likely to contact STD's as any other girl. also it greatly increases the chances of a bacterial infection, and makes clean up much harder if hes not sporting a rain coat.
Early on in my post life, lube in place, an extra setting near by, i would have previously made sure he knew about me, and at that moment, I would remind him . some of my lines were, ' be gentle, take your time, its not broken in yet" , OR, " its scared, so go easy until it gets to know you".
i learned also, that though a guy isnt like plastic, and the penis will fit even if a bit bigger then the dialiator, there is a point where i say no way. a guys size can hurt, even if it fits. im not the type to just ' do it' to make him happy, while I lay there in pain or extreme discomfort. ill let him bitch and moan, call names, what ever, its my cooter, its my call. ... its not like you can measure it before things get hot. and when that critical moment arrives, and he flops out something that resembles a Anaconda, thats as thick as your wrist, you have to make the call thats right for you.
never be afraid to say "NO"
a lot of us older girls also only got 6 inches of depth, on a good day. so all the above applies to a guys length. we all trust them to respect our limits, but we also know how that can go. some will find that the thicker a dialiator is, the less depth they realise. that applies in the real life experiance also. in time, you learn to guage what will work, be comfortable, and safe.
bottom line. you are only so big, so deep. Part of the sexual equation is that it be pleasurable and enjoyable for you too. lube is essential so carry it all the time, and understand that some guys may just be too big for you. there is no shame in that, or in saying no at the last minute. Even genetic females will tell you that. only you can protect yourself in that way, and as for condoms, no rain coat, no play. that should be a firm rule every time.
I agree. I have seen done guys that are hung like Bulls. I set the ground rules and if they break them they get nothing. Never let a guy be in total control of your body and put something into you that's to long or too wide
Hi,
I'm new in the forum. I'm a 31 years old post-op (from italy), had my surgery almost 11 years ago.
I saw this thread and I decided to reply here, but I can open a new one if necessary.
In the past I've sometimes experienced some pain during sexual intercourse and in the last few years I haven't had any sexual life, nor used any dilation tool.
(set aside the psychological, here, i'm now on psychotherapy and it's going better).
I'm gettin back on track, but i'm feeling discomfort using the vibrator and i'm afraid some "narrowing" occurred.
If this is the case, is regular "exercise" going to make it significantly better?
Or is any surgical procedure available to re-gain (or gain, in case the original surgery was not perfect) width/lenght?
If any of you have had the same experience or know something about it, please share :)
Thanks,
C.
Quote from: claumath on February 08, 2015, 09:12:33 AM
Hi,
I'm new in the forum. I'm a 31 years old post-op (from italy), had my surgery almost 11 years ago.
I saw this thread and I decided to reply here, but I can open a new one if necessary.
In the past I've sometimes experienced some pain during sexual intercourse and in the last few years I haven't had any sexual life, nor used any dilation tool.
(set aside the psychological, here, i'm now on psychotherapy and it's going better).
I'm gettin back on track, but i'm feeling discomfort using the vibrator and i'm afraid some "narrowing" occurred.
If this is the case, is regular "exercise" going to make it significantly better?
Or is any surgical procedure available to re-gain (or gain, in case the original surgery was not perfect) width/lenght?
If any of you have had the same experience or know something about it, please share :)
Thanks,
C.
Correct levels of estrogen, bioidentical progesterone (because of cross effects with estrogen... ) and even a very low level of testosterone might help.
There should be medical people with some kind of experience available... and many people said it helped.
With libido, and some say even depth . The tissue might react like that of a menopausal vagina. Of course there are no guarantees.
Pellets or topical might be a good way, avoiding spikes and possibly a low hours later like with oral. This also might affect mood.
You should continue dilation...
and there are surgical procedures to regain...
hugs