Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Topic started by: JustASeq on December 10, 2014, 09:13:17 AM

Title: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: JustASeq on December 10, 2014, 09:13:17 AM
Sorry if this is posted in the wrong place. OKCupid (an online dating site) has gone from having 2 gender options to having 22. Hooray!!!
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: JustASeq on December 10, 2014, 09:15:01 AM
Ohhh, just noticed, they have more that 3 orientations now too! :)

This makes me so excited/happy!!
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: spooky on December 10, 2014, 09:49:34 AM
I only use the app, and it doesn't look like these changes have made it there yet, but I'm excited for them.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 10:40:09 AM
No it specifically says desktop only at the moment. I suspect they are working on it, but I noticed there aren't a lot of options in looking for someone. I would feel better if I could see a list of "I'm ok if your trans" lesbians. Right now there is no way to know that and I'm hesitant to contact anyone as a result. I also am even more hesitant when they say absolutely no guys allowed.

Quote from: spooky on December 10, 2014, 09:49:34 AM
I only use the app, and it doesn't look like these changes have made it there yet, but I'm excited for them.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: BunnyBee on December 10, 2014, 10:51:05 AM
Quote from: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 10:40:09 AM
No it specifically says desktop only at the moment. I suspect they are working on it, but I noticed there aren't a lot of options in looking for someone. I would feel better if I could see a list of "I'm ok if your trans" lesbians. Right now there is no way to know that and I'm hesitant to contact anyone as a result. I also am even more hesitant when they say absolutely no guys allowed.

I was looking at okcupid last night.  Idk if I am up for trying dating agn, but maybe.  Anyway, I saw that if you pay for the a-list thing you can search by questionnaire response, and there are a couple questions re: willingness to date transsexuals.  So that is one way you might be able to do that.

It does cost money and I haven't tried it, so no guarantees!
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 10:53:44 AM
Of course I've seen plenty of profiles that say "don't click like because I didn't pay for A-list and can't see that" So at best its an incomplete picture. There is that question in the questionnaire, but it seems to be a rare question that is rarely answered. I don't even recall if its just yes/no or if its yes/yes post-op/no.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: BunnyBee on December 10, 2014, 10:57:31 AM
Well, you know, it's going to narrow the field when you start searching by only people that go out of their way to say publicly that they are willing to date a trans person, but those were the people you wanted to find, right?

The vast vast majority of people that are willing to date a trans woman don't even know it.   They've never even thought about it, ya know?   There would be no way to filter for them.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: Lostkitten on December 10, 2014, 12:25:32 PM
If you put yourself up as a trans, be ready to attract creeps/->-bleeped-<-s.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 12:31:24 PM
I feel like at this stage I have to put myself up as trans. I'm very early in my HRT and don't pass. When I feel like I'm passing I make switch it back to female and then mention it after a date or two. Even if I was post-op I feel its too important to mention before the relationship becomes deep.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: Devlyn on December 10, 2014, 12:40:59 PM
I'm on OKCupid as transgender, no one has been disrespectful, even guys who weren't interested in a non-op girl. I think it's more age related than anything.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 12:42:31 PM
I've put that I was MTF in my actual profile for a while and haven't had any issues with it. I think being a lesbian and hiding guys eliminates most of the potential creeps.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: suzifrommd on December 10, 2014, 12:55:26 PM
I had put that I was transgender in my profile and got no replies at all. Zilch, nil, nada, zero. It was only after I took out the one word "transgender" that occasionally someone would respond to one of my messages.

I would love to hear how people get responses. Still seems like I basically never get contacted and nine out of ten of my contact messages are ignored.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: Eevee on December 10, 2014, 01:00:09 PM
Quote from: suzifrommd on December 10, 2014, 12:55:26 PM
I had put that I was transgender in my profile and got no replies at all. Zilch, nil, nada, zero. It was only after I took out the one word "transgender" that occasionally someone would respond to one of my messages.

I would love to hear how people get responses. Still seems like I basically never get contacted and nine out of ten of my contact messages are ignored.
I had an account up a little bit ago and I didn't have this issue. I guess that might be swayed by your own sexuality tough. I'm bi, and I just had a lot of guys messaging me. There was little to no contact from women, though. Is that the issue you're facing?
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: awilliams1701 on December 10, 2014, 01:00:44 PM
I've gotten some but only after I put that I was transgender. I think the other girls were/are afraid I was a guy trying to sneak into the lesbian side. I hope that as I begin to pass I can take it out and it will be easier. Unfortunately the dating pool seems very small to begin with.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: suzifrommd on December 10, 2014, 01:06:27 PM
Quote from: Eevee on December 10, 2014, 01:00:09 PM
I had an account up a little bit ago and I didn't have this issue. I guess that might be swayed by your own sexuality tough. I'm bi, and I just had a lot of guys messaging me. There was little to no contact from women, though. Is that the issue you're facing?

Yeah. I've never been into guys (though since my surgery, I've been feeling the "urge"). I've gone out on a few dates, so it hasn't been totally useless but there's a low response rate.

I'm 53 (though I'm pretty fit), might have something to do with it.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: JustASeq on December 10, 2014, 01:48:12 PM
Quote from: Kirey on December 10, 2014, 12:25:32 PM
If you put yourself up as a trans, be ready to attract creeps/->-bleeped-<-s.

I have only dated other trans identifying people via OKC. I know how to keep away the creeps with my responses to their messages :)

I literally put "Nerdy, queer, pre-op transsexual." at the beginning of my self-summary. I also ID'd myself as "Woman, Transfeminine, Trans Woman". not that I have options. I chose to have myself show up when people search for women.
Title: Re: New gender identity groups on OKCupid dating site :)
Post by: Lostkitten on December 10, 2014, 02:39:53 PM
Oh I didn't knew multiple were possible, never mind me o.o.