its time for for me to start shopping on my own. i am not intimadated by the salespeople i think. in my mind i dont care. i just think no matter how far i go away i am going to run in to someone i know. its happened before. its not that i am ashamed of what i do. its just that its my secret.
It's a big step,Rachael. I wanted to tell my wife later but the opportunity came a lot sooner that I expected. I told her that I dress and things are cool. All I can say is enjoy it. Tell us how your shopping trip went.
Gennee
:)
A tip: Shop at thrift shops like GoodWill or Value Village, Costs a lot less to learn sizes, colors, styles there.
Once you can go to the stores enfemme, there will be even less discomfort. And should you go full time at some point, you'll find 'it ain't the clothes anymore.'
Ah, memories. I can't believe it was only 10 years ago.
Robyn
You look marvelous Robyn! I have too many wrinkels, sags and bulges to look femme but enjoy it all the way under drab.
well girls its sunday and yes i did go shopping last night. i had some courage enough to browse and even buy a few things. i just had a hard time trying things on. i was dressed somewhat enfemme at least on the inside. no makeup or wig. the salespeople seem to know what i doing and who i was. i figured that would give some confidence and it did because at least i made the effort. i did purchase some lingerie which i needed badly.darn purges.that wont stop me. i am planning another trip this weekend. this time i am going to have my nails done.and some makeup.the salespeople didnt seem to mind
. it seems like its more in my head. the good thing is at least today i can enjoy the femminine me more later,rachael.
i think :d Rachael most of all it is in our heads, 2 years ago I was going crazy with growing hair in body and legs in the summer (every summer since I began, some years now, 2 shave.... the same was happen), so I decide with any cost 2 continue hair removing and depilating ( I live with my mother and sister).
And the miracle!!!!!
My mom (she's 65 y.o.) when she c me first time with a HOT shorts and smooth legs...touched my legs and she said "you have my legs, its a very nice shave, where u learn to do it so knit!!!", after a while she buy me a present, a nice female top and I was in the HEAVENS!!!!
My sister doesn't bother at all with that, she told me to get her shaving GEL, I was stunned!!!
From then every now and then she look at me and says (like she does with my sister when she was young) eh!! U r legs need shaving: D!!!
By the way im 45 y.o. (not a child) so they understand, what i do it's for a reason not 2 play, but they r real family.
I LOVE BOTH OF THEM (((KISSES DARLINGS)))
P.S. sorry if i do mistakes but i dont use (speak-wright) very often my english here. Lately i just read only.
Quote from: Jaimee on August 19, 2007, 08:47:22 AM
You look marvelous Robyn! I have too many wrinkels, sags and bulges to look femme but enjoy it all the way under drab.
Thank you, Jaimee. My husband says I clean up okay. <grins>
Robyn
As well He should Robyn. ;) I'm 71 and still enjoying life.
Quote from: rachael devry on August 17, 2007, 10:15:05 PM
its time for for me to start shopping on my own. i am not intimadated by the salespeople i think. in my mind i dont care. i just think no matter how far i go away i am going to run in to someone i know. its happened before. its not that i am ashamed of what i do. its just that its my secret.
Rachael - figuring out when/how to disclose to people and what risks are acceptable is a natural part of all this. In my case, there are only a few non-TG folk that know about Robin, but I don't let that stop me from going out. If I'm spotted by someone I know, I'll deal with it then (and for every bad encounter you read about on the net, there are several good ones).
As for shopping, I think the key thing is attitude... If you act embarrassed and skulky, people will think you're weird. If you are confident and friendly, no matter how good you look, people will be OK.
Robin
I'm thinking of doing some shopping for the 1st time soon. Anyone ever go and buy things when dressed as a man? Or is this way too traumatic? Also, pointers on how to act would be greatly appreciated....I just feel that people can read me know matter how I act.
Quote from: jacqui on August 31, 2007, 05:44:32 AM
I'm thinking of doing some shopping for the 1st time soon. Anyone ever go and buy things when dressed as a man? Or is this way too traumatic? Also, pointers on how to act would be greatly appreciated....I just feel that people can read me know matter how I act.
Jacqui - I suppose it depends a little on where you go, and where you live. Many people find that they can shop in thrift stores completely comfortably -- in many of those places, even if you feel "weird", you can be assured that you won't be the weirdest one there.
Alternately, higher-end stores (esp. department stores like Macy's, Nordstrom, etc.) usually will have staff who are professional enough to help you no matter what.
Most important is the attitude. If you skulk around and look embarrassed, people will go with that and treat you much differently than if you hold you head up, smile, and act like everything is OK. The latter isn't as hard as it may sound, since everything IS OK -- your money is as green as everyone else's, and most people won't care anyway.
Regards,
Robin
Quote from: robinhayes on August 31, 2007, 04:36:49 PM
Most important is the attitude. If you skulk around and look embarrassed, people will go with that and treat you much differently than if you hold you head up, smile, and act like everything is OK. The latter isn't as hard as it may sound, since everything IS OK -- your money is as green as everyone else's, and most people won't care anyway.
That's really true. If you want to read about my first time shopping you can see it here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,10208.0.html
I really don't get too nervous any more, but I do find that if you act suspicious you will be treated as if you are. So you may as well enjoy yourself. Don't treat the experience like it is a hunt. That's what guys do. Enjoy the displays, the presence of other women, and don't EVER pass up a clearance rack. That's like blasphemy.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
That's really true. If you want to read about my first time shopping you can see it here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,10208.0.html
Kristi, I would love to read this but it says it is off limits when I click on the link.
Thanks to both Robin and Kristi, you have made me feel more self-assured about trying it, although today when I went shopping for some Jolen I about freaked when a girl saw me looking at it! I guess these things will get more natural with repitition.....
Jacqui,
After 15 posts you will be able to read it. So post a few more and voila!
I'm sure you know this, but if you don't act suspicious, no one will pay you a second mind, no matter how you are dressed. But they will if you take off like a scared caught child. All in time.....it will come with experience as you grow comfortable with who you are and what you are doing.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
I have really gotten into EBAY lately.... mostly got some really cool Dresses and forms...
I did get a set of 8 pairs of shorts size 16 ( shrunk to size 14 ).... but other than that -- it is a inexpensive way to get nice stuff.
Daisy :D
Hi,
I am new here so forgive me if I am speaking out of turn.
In my experience, regardless of how you are dressed, no one cares.
If your in drab most people think your buying it for someone else.
I have found it relativley easier to go out like this, as I have not gone out much dressed.
I also live in a rather conservative area and unless I go to the more "open" stores its likely someone will say something, regardless of how comfortable I seem.
So either way you go, just relax and use your common sense.
In my opinion, thats how you found out what you liked in the first place.
;D
When I started shopping for myself in drab, I was nervous and flustered, as you might expect. I would hang around the lingerie section and try to wait it out until no GGs weere around, until I realized (duh!) that it never happens.
But with experience came confidence. Now when I shop, I ask the SA up front if she is OK working with a CDer, and they are almost always very nice.
And I still get a great, heady rush every time I do. A delicious feeling, for sure!
I shop in male clothes all the time. Lots of men buy clothing as gifts for their wives, so no one will really think anything of it. I've also tried on ladies clothes in a number of different stores. Just a couple of weeks ago I went to a Lane Bryant outlet store and found a bra and some tee shirts I was interested in. I went to a clerk while holding the bra on top of the other items and asked the clerk "would it be possible for me to try this on?" and she gladly opened up a dressing room for me.
I've tried on clothing in about a dozen different stores and never been treated with anything but respect.
It's scary the first few times, but give it a try!
Veronica
Well,
For all of you reading this and wishing you had the courage to go shopping...
This Is The Month!!!
It's October, that means Halloween is coming, so.... If you decided to "do drag' for the party, the sales people will most likely help you put everything together, from bra, to enhancers, to dress, hose, heels, purse and makeup from the MAC counter! Try a Macy's or Dillard's or any other 'upscale' store!! I did about 3 years ago and was fitted from the skin out!
I'm considering it again, just to add to my wardrobe!
Huggs,
Lisa Elizabeth
I couldn't agree more about October being the time to try shopping. The sales girls in the shops think it is so much fun to dress up a guy. I went into one shoe store before and I must have tried on about 20 different pairs of shoes all with the help of the sales girl. By the time I was done I had my own audience and a free lesson in walking in heels ( which I really didn't need, but I played along anyway)
Go out, have fun, it is very liberating. Oh..and once you go out, you won't be able keep yourself from doing it again and again and again...
I've been shopping for so long now that I dont even think about 'looking over my shoulder' any more.
I go for the sales, try stuff on, ask for assistance even if I cant find the lingerie that I want.
Several sales ladies have helped me put together coordinating outfits.
One sales gal at Macy's asked me to come in En Femme so she could get a better idea about what styles would look good on me.
She didnt recognise me when Linsey came in.
She was a lot of help and very understanding.
It all comes down to the fact that my money is just as green as everyone elses.
Quote from: rachael devry on August 17, 2007, 10:15:05 PM
its time for for me to start shopping on my own. i am not intimadated by the salespeople i think. in my mind i dont care. i just think no matter how far i go away i am going to run in to someone i know. its happened before. its not that i am ashamed of what i do. its just that its my secret.
It was embarrassing when the sales-girl suddenly called me like 'sir' when I believed I certainly passed.
Barbie~~
I love to shop. At Kohl's, you carry around a black shopping bag, and can put lingerie in there, then go into teh dressing room to try it on.
Quote from: barbie on November 19, 2007, 01:26:23 PM
It was embarrassing when the sales-girl suddenly called me like 'sir' when I believed I certainly passed.
Barbie~~
Oh, Barbie! I can't imagine you not passing, you are so gorgeous! I guess if it can happen to you, it can happen to any of us. So sorry that girl did that.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fganjataz.com%2F01smileys%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2FloopyBlonde-blinking.gif&hash=4545ddf8251cf9c32ae6074d56e48bc34a755857)Kristi
Quote from: Linsey on November 16, 2007, 02:25:41 PM
I've been shopping for so long now that I dont even think about 'looking over my shoulder' any more. I go for the sales, try stuff on, ask for assistance even if I cant find the lingerie that I want. Several sales ladies have helped me put together coordinating outfits.One sales gal at Macy's asked me to come in En Femme so she could get a better idea about what styles would look good on me. She didnt recognise me when Linsey came in. She was a lot of help and very understanding.
It all comes down to the fact that my money is just as green as everyone elses.
Quote from: billy678 on February 04, 2008, 03:03:13 PM
That's very encouraging Linsey. Kind of reminds me of the time that I went for my first makeover. The cosmetologist didn't veen recognize me even though I'd been in there in drab a few times.
Quote from: billy678 on February 04, 2008, 03:03:13 PM
I love to shop. At Kohl's, you carry around a black shopping bag, and can put lingerie in there, then go into teh dressing room to try it on.
We've got a Kohl's opening next month and I'll have to check this out. It'll make it easier without drawing too much attention to myself.
Gina :
i just seen this topic . anyways it was sales shopping this weekend where i live.so you know what they
say when its sales time! :laugh: anyways i went to target and looked around. while i was waiting for
jcpenny,s to open. i was not gonna buy anything from target at lest thats what i thought. but umm wrong
got 2 bras 5.00 a piece. and then i went to jcpenny,s . they did not have the skirts i wanted . but i got
2 summer tops for 12.00. and then . from there i want to maurices from tiem for me there. but any way
i got lucky again and got 2 skirts for 12.00 and 3 sample sized bottles of purfum for 10.00 that i like ;D
When I went to Kohl's, I put 3 bras in the bag, a slip, and 2 blouses, and was in the dressing room about 10 minutes. It was great!
I have gone shopping en femme and drab. For me it is easier to do it drab as most people in the general vicinity will think you are buying for someone else. I agree with the others that recommend not to act weird and nervous. If you bring out an aura of confidence and are friendly you will have a good experience with the SA's. Yesterday I went shopping en femme for some lingerie. I just walked in fredericks like I belong there. The SA's treated me no different than any other woman in there.
hi im natalie i am a first time shopper to but i ve been able to buy bras and panties but am struggling to by womans clothes i dont know where to start can any one assist? i am currently wearing denim shorts with blue balck shirts i so need to change my wardrobe
Four years ago at this time, I went to Hecht's and lady's thongs were on sale. I pickup up 3 of them but later, it was 4 as one came along accidentally. I thought it would not be bad experience that an androgynous person wears thong for the first time in his life. It was difficult to continue shopping while carrying 3 thongs and 1 bikini in my hand. Imagine that a man strolls about a store while grasping thongs. Maybe even women can not do that.
I hurried to the cashier. The young saleswoman asked "It's for you?". I just thought "Why do you ask it?", but I did not answer as I thought I am not required to answer to that kind of private question. One thong could be a gift, but 3 thongs were certainly excessive. She asked some trivial questions and I replied "Yes" or just nodded with smile.
Barbie~~
I have never really tried to pass while shopping. I am usually wearing androgynous clothes or "mixed-dress." e.g. Flats, pantyhose, women's jeans and a t-shirt (no makeup or wig). It is obvious who I am buying for and there is no deception. I am treated with courtesy 99% of the time. I am almost always allowed to try things on and I have a great time shopping.
Brenn
I too haven't been out of thehouse as my female self, I'm still gathering up the courage to do so, I'm pretty low on self confidence when it comes to this area, although my wife thinks I look great and thinks I could pass now for a few moments in a store and for longer once I get a 'voice' and a little more womanly mannerisms.
But, I have been shopping in drab a few times. and let me tell you it's a wierd but wonderful feeling.
I'm trying to find/read more into others first time out experiences, maybe these will help gather my courage
Kathy/Karen/Keri?
Once I purchased a girdle at a small store in my country. The lady there showed me one, adding that this is for both women and men. I said that I need one exclusively for women. She said this is actually for women, but some men do purchase it. I asked 24 inch, but she said the smallest one in the store is 26 inch, adding that I have better try a little larger one because men have 'muscle' in the area.
I asked whether she had any idea on the reason why men need girdles for women. She seemed to be a little bit embarrassed, but any way answered that they might have some uses that she does not know. I was a little bit surprised how many ordinary men are actually wearing women's girdle.
I have never worn the girdle I purchased because I do not like the pressure on my belly.
Last week, I purchased some basic cosmetics such as cream and gross lipstick in a mall. Sometimes saleswomen ask me whether the item for women is for me or others. Sometimes I reply that it is for me. Then nothing special happens. They are just busy selling. They tend to remember and welcome me in the next visit once they recognize me as a valuable customer.
I think it is fortunate for m2f crossdressers that most salespersons in cosmetic or fashion stores are women. Imagine the opposite case :o. If most of them were men, I would always purchase through the internet.
Barbie~~
I must disagree. From time to time I buy perfume as a gift for somebody. Normally I buy it in Brussels in the main shopping street in the shop "Ici Paris XL". There is a guy working there who is nothing less than fabulous. Sometimes when I go, a woman ( 99 % of people working there are women ) asks me whether she can help me. Then I always say "No, I'll wait for him. He's good. He's the best."
One day I told him I was searching for perfume that smells like sex. I told him I don't know the name of it but that a friend of my wife uses it and that it smells like sex. Believe it or not but 10 seconds later he came up with exactly what I was searching for.
Here is my explanation. In order to be accepted there as a man you really must know what you are doing. As I found out later he happens to be the shop "owner". He's the boss. And he's really the reason why I purchase there.
I happen to believe that the best woman is a man.
Being a man myself I have felt agression towards my person many times. Like I am the ennemy, the dirty one, the beast, the lazy one, the ugly one, ... I suppose it is a reason for change.
Kaeren.
I went shopping for the first time last week. I was pretty nervous. I think I'll do the rest of it online. Does anyone know of a good site to by makeup? I was thinking of buying from walgreens.com since they carry many brands and the return address wouldn't be suspicious.
Thanks,
Micaella