I'm not sure whether to wonder why this happened, kick myself, of just chalk it up to suprise and let it go. I think I'll do them all, all at once. I had to do some grocery shopping tonight and decided I would spend some extra time on make up, new jeans, lipstick, new top... well you get the picture. Why? Well I am very rural so I suppose a trip to the big city (joking) was cause enough. Standing in the checkout line in front of me was this well dressed but in a young stylish way, very pretty woman. She turned and started a conversation with me about small stuff saying how good diets were(I had many healthy choice diet dinners), and revealing a fair amount in such a short time I might add, then turned back to the cashier. I commented on how nice her high top black boots were and the conversation resumed with even more liveliness. Her time to pay. Once she had paid, she turned back to me with that smile I remember oh so well and said " I sure hope your not having those for Christmas dinner arrrre you? Me........no my girlfriend is making me dinner. ????????????? What? Why?
She left, I paid, went to my truck and thought.....why did I say that? Now granted I do have a friend, she is a girl, and she is cooking for me but just not sure what night. I guess I dont know where I'm going with this, it's just that I have never been shy, bashful, hesitant or one to fumble with words, until NOW. So many weird things are cruising thru my mind, like: there are women out there attracted to men in makeup (I'm definately not passing)? If there are, what if that was my only shot. Have I quietly and sort of unknowingly gave up on the notion of finding a woman for me now that transition is my life?
Has anyone else gone through this? Please tell me there may be more like her, I really dont want to turn into a grocery store lurker hoping for one more chance or I may run into this guy :police: Dani
That's one experience I've never had. But if you're worried about saying stupid things, that's one area in which I reign supreme. I mean, like, absolutely no competition.
Foxglove, gotta say this.... ;D
I'm glad you brought this up to the top, as I just realized I needed to insert a clarification (on the serious side). When I was inquiring about the possibility that a woman could be attracted to a man in makeup, this has to do exclusively and only with that chance encounter where the 'only' binding force is the visual type. I am fully aware there are many many ladies here that have loving relationships with their cis female mates. I would imagine that this was an evolution over time in which the end positive result had to do with the ingreidents of pre-existing love and compassionate understanding already being there. So I did not mean the comment/question to be offensive to anyone.
Worried about saying stupid things? Well that is something I have been used to for some time :). The reason that experience had such a big impact was 1. I guess I never imagined a woman right off the bat, be attracted to this much feminine appearance in someone who is obviously a genetic male, and 2. I believe this was sort of age related, I'm 63 and she looked to be around late 30's early 40's and I was suprised by how much the situation stunned me into a 'duh' type reaction. I might add the girl/woman I mentioned, well ours is not an exclusive type relationship and both agree to never let it cross that line. Jeez, now I want to go back and do some shopping again. :D Dani
I wouldn't worry about it. It took me ages to realise that women who chat to you with friendly banter are usually well and truly in a relationship. Years ago there was a great young woman who worked in a large health food store I frequented. Over the course of months we established a good rapport and would chat about all sorts of things. I finally worked up the courage to decide that maybe she was not just being nice to me but that she liked me and I was going to ask her out for a coffee. Mind you, before I could do that the next time I saw her she started talking about her boyfriend. Ugh. Similar experiences has made me realise that women can be friendly with guys with no additional agenda.
I have to say that I have no idea how I'd react in a situation like that. I've been out two years now, and so far nobody's expressed any sort of attraction to me. In a way that hurts my feelings of course, but in a way it doesn't because I'm not looking for a relationship right now. It's way down on my list of priorities. I've got all sorts of things I need to get sorted out first. So if somebody did say something to me along the lines of what was said to you, I'm quite sure I'd make as big a mess of it as you did.
But (waxing philosophical here) this is what I believe: if something happens once, it's a dead cert it'll happen again. There are billions of people in this world, and if one of them gets an idea, you can be sure at least one other person will get it as well. So next time, be prepared.
To Ms Grace, ah, always always nice to have perspective added to my mix. Over and over again I have the tendency to kinda purposely 'overlook' certain things because I so much want a certain outcome. :)
To Foxglove, well just very nice kind words, I would say you have no idea how much it means, but I think you do. Having been for sooo many years, that guy who was never ever looking for relationships, my focus always fell squarely on picking up on and taking instantaneous advantage of those cues women give. So yeah it was really odd because as with you my focus was indeed on my myriad number of adjustments seemingly ad infinitum 'especially that one that always is on the forefront of my mind when in public....just trying to get used to feeling natural. My ship took a direct hit and I sunk right there in the checkout line. And when I'm finally in that comfortable mode, I will be prepared ;) Dani
I also had to relearn my social que reading. It took me awhile to realize that women interact totally different with each other than they do with men and that being friendly most likely wasn't a pass.