This is the only thing that about me that still doesn't line up with me being FTM....
A lot of the time I have no problem going in the ladies room
occaisonally i'll have a problem but most of the time I don't
I was wondering if any of you guys feel (or felt for people who now look like the right gender) this way or if I'm weird.....?
I haven't started trying yet... mostly because of the situation I am in at the time. Most likely I'm in school or with family.
No one in school other than my circle of friends know that I'm transgender, so just popping into the female bathroom would be taken as an act of perversion or insanity. With my family.... I don't want them to ever know who I really am, so I go by what they are used to in order to keep them from finding out.
If I were the new kid at school and my family was far more distsant, I could easily get used to using the female bathroom, would just take me a while to work up the courage.
(If I were the new kid, I definitely would present Vulynn through my physical appearance as well.)
I have been much more comfortable in the women's restroom and generally used them exclusively even after I started transitioning. Perhaps because I know I don't pass and on the very rare occasion that I do, I'm seen as very very gay so the men's restroom may not be a safe place for me. Plus, though I have gotten strange looks from women, overall it is a much safer experience than the men's.
Then I went and got my gender marker legally changed to male, and now I'm just as uncomfortable in the women's restroom as the men's. I plan my days out of the house around the three gender neutral single-serving restrooms I know of in the city. And I'm grateful for my extensive experience as a backpacker with female genitals helping me be able to hold it for long periods of time.
Public gendered restrooms just plain suck.
Through high school, I was very uncomfortable in the male restrooms, and that was before I really knew about being trans. Now that I am starting my journey, I hate being in them, especially around the guys I work with. They are very obnoxious in the bathrooms.
Honestly, I've heard horror stories about female restrooms, but I feel better in them when I get a chance to use them.
I don't mind going to the ladies room. I generally don't mind if I just have some place to go. Free ladies room with a locked door beats the bush although the bush is fine too. I deal with it quickly and get out. Sometimes it kind of bugs me that it doesn't bug me. I don't think it's that weird though. Every person is different.
Quote from: kittylover on December 18, 2014, 10:40:46 PM
This is the only thing that about me that still doesn't line up with me being FTM....
A lot of the time I have no problem going in the ladies room
Using the restroom is not a gendered activity.
It's waste elimination.
Which restroom you use has nothing to do with gender.
I don't care about going to the ladies' room (I'm FTM). Actually, I kind of prefer it. There are usually nice big mirrors where I can check myself out before venturing back into the world (/narcissism)
But no, seriously...I'm kind of afraid to use the men's room. It seems kind of intimidating, being around all those big men in a male-only space, and I'm a pretty girly-boy a.k.a. nice target for male aggression. Also, the only men's room I've ever been in was dirty and nasty, and I've heard similar horror stories...
Quote from: Gothic Dandy Luca on December 19, 2014, 11:12:38 AM
I'm kind of afraid to use the men's room. It seems kind of intimidating, being around all those big men in a male-only space, and I'm a pretty girly-boy a.k.a. nice target for male aggression. Also, the only men's room I've ever been in was dirty and nasty, and I've heard similar horror stories...
All of the above, same for me. I'm so tiny compared to cis-guys. I miss being okay with women's restrooms.
At first I wasn't going to make a big deal about it. Then as part of my transition, I gave up peeing standing up. I had no idea how huge that was. I started to instantly feel like I was in the wrong bathroom. Fortunately not long after that I was out to my co-workers and started using the ladies room. That too was awkward for everyone at first, but even though I don't pass, they seem to see me as just another one of the girls now.
I get sooo nervous when I am about to choose which bathroom to use. Im literally 2 days on hrt but I have been presenting female part time for like 4 months. I was hanging out with some friends and I had to use the restroom and they wanted me to come in with them. It was a very kind gesture, but it was the first time I used the womens room at the same time as other women and I was so nervous I couldn't even go. so as of right now I feel more comfortable In the mens room
It really depends. At work I use the men's. I hate using the men's. When I'm elsewhere presenting female I use the ladies. Eventually I will be using the ladies full time.
I do still stand up and pee in the men's when there is no one around but I've found myself doing it less and less because I'm wearing women's jeans which makes it harder to unzip and pee.
Using the men's is affirming for me, but using the women's isn't distressing. I don't mind very much at all.
Well, if "assigned sex" is what's recorded on my birth certificate....I spent a far greater part of my life using "...assigned sex's bathroom...." So, yeah, it's okay. My first preference would be for a single-occupancy restroom, but when one has to go one has to go.
By training (&/or inclination?), I've tried to be aware of the social environment & the cultural values associated with said environment(s). My own perspective re: this topic has been to conduct my business in such a way as to be the least disruptive to that social environment. Not everything in life has to be about me, or with what makes me happy &/or comfortable...at least not while I'm residing in a world with other folks.
After several months of using the ladies I think I would feel extremely uncomfortable using the gents... :icon_eek:
The last time I used the guys bathroom I carefully looked to make sure no one watched me go in. It already felt like I shouldn't be in their at all. It never felt right, but that's time that made it clear to me that I couldn't and wouldn't ever use the men's restrooms again. This was shortly before I went full time. I haven't missed them one bit.
Mariah
I always hated peeing at a urinal with other dudes right there next to me. I could never pee. In my late teens I started using stalls exclusively. The one and only thing I miss about that, is all the mischief I would get into in the bathroom. Heckling somebody who's too nervous to pee, pissing on the floor and the walls in the stall (yeah...), heckling somebody who's taking a poop, and even turning off the lights when somebody is committed to a poop. Yeah, I was a bad kid adult.
I was in my early teens when I stopped using the urinals. I generally got more on me then in them anyway.
Mariah
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on December 20, 2014, 12:12:01 PM
I always hated peeing at a urinal with other dudes right there next to me. I could never pee. In my late teens I started using stalls exclusively. The one and only thing I miss about that, is all the mischief I would get into in the bathroom. Heckling somebody who's too nervous to pee, pissing on the floor and the walls in the stall (yeah...), heckling somebody who's taking a poop, and even turning off the lights when somebody is committed to a poop. Yeah, I was a bad kid adult.
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on December 20, 2014, 12:12:01 PM
I always hated peeing at a urinal with other dudes right there next to me. I could never pee. In my late teens I started using stalls exclusively. The one and only thing I miss about that, is all the mischief I would get into in the bathroom. Heckling somebody who's too nervous to pee, pissing on the floor and the walls in the stall (yeah...), heckling somebody who's taking a poop, and even turning off the lights when somebody is committed to a poop. Yeah, I was a bad kid adult.
you sound like a person I would get a long with, but I think I would try to avoid being in the same bathroom as you. :P
Ha! Oh man. It's the one of the few things I miss about being a boy. I'm too paranoid to do ->-bleeped-<- like that in the bathroom now. Plus, I think it's just less noble to pick on women.
Quote from: MugwortPsychonaut on December 20, 2014, 12:12:01 PM
I always hated peeing at a urinal with other dudes right there next to me. I could never pee.
Same as me. Even years before I began transitioning I stopped standing up to pee, and I started to use the stalls no matter what. My friends just thought I was shy about it and liked my privacy.
In my everyday life I usually use the washroom at the Pride lounge in my school, I havnt been in the womens washroom that many times.
Still using the female restroom because I'm not passing to my knowledge but I could be wrong since I only hang around places where people already know me. I'm a bit scared of going to the men's room, I'm afraid I'll get beat up. :'(
Quote from: amber roskamp on December 19, 2014, 08:48:51 PM
I get sooo nervous when I am about to choose which bathroom to use. Im literally 2 days on hrt but I have been presenting female part time for like 4 months. I was hanging out with some friends and I had to use the restroom and they wanted me to come in with them. It was a very kind gesture, but it was the first time I used the womens room at the same time as other women and I was so nervous I couldn't even go. so as of right now I feel more comfortable In the mens room
If the girls welcomed you to go in the restroom with them you should have felt complemented and been able to relax and enjoy the opportunity.
I have yet to use a public bathroom as a woman... but I definitely will be going to the ladies room. It would just seem super ridiculous for me to go to the Men's room at this point. Although I am not the prettiest girl in the world, I certainly don't look like a guy. Some people might see me as a guy trying to be a girl, but even so, that justifies me using the girl's bathroom in my mind.