BLEH T.T who else is dreading this? Honestly, I don't want to be a downer or anything, but ugh... This is the time of year my friend killed herself because she was trans, on December 11... And I'm basically alone for it >.< I mean my blood family all hates each other so basically I get to go watch them argue on Christmas and it's just depressing, idk. Christmas Eve was also the anniversary my ex girlfriend and I got back together the year before last, and the new girl I liked, is lesbian, and doesnt want me because I'm pre op >.< dating is so Fing hard for transpeople, especially younger. Idk why I posted this, guess I'm just depressed and could use some advice and support. I love y'all, thank you.
Have no answers, I've been alone for the last 20 years on Christmas. I'm use to it though, I make myself a feast , cooking everything from scratch. I use to share with my best friend ( beautiful German Shepherd ) , but he passed some 10 years ago.
I've often spent Xmas by myself, more from choice than exclusion. Last few years I got into the spirit and went along to the family lunch. Not this year. This year it is due to exclusion. That's a bummer. I'm hoping next year will be better on that front and I will be included.
If I had any advice it would be don't let the past define you, especially if it is sad, tragic or toxic - the past is the past and while it is part of our life and cannot be erased it is still not the entirety of us. There have surely been happy moments in your life, try giving them more room than the sad ones. I've had some truly great moments and fleeting as they were I hold onto the joy I felt in that moment to get me through the down times and look towards the future with more optimism.
Hugs. Take care. Be well.
sorry for the first post i removed. my adhd kicked in and it was all over the place lol. i don't really have any advice. if you have good friends see if you can be with them over the holidays? thats all i got really :/
Christmas time/holiday time is one of those times where we are supposed to be of good cheer and put the past behind us and put on a smile. However, it's very difficult to do when being false isn't in your nature. I don't have solid answers, but I"ve not enjoyed Christmas time for a long time. But I'll echo what others have said, do something for yourself that day. Cook, eat out, dress up, dress down, watch your favourite guilty pleasure movie, doesn't matter what you do, so long as you do it for yourself.
Have you ever seen the original Terminator film? Do you recall when Sarah Connor was having a terrible day at her waitress job? She's in the back room smoking a cig, looking flustered, and her friend passes by and says: "Look at it this way, in a hundred years, who's gonna care?"
I take that to mean this:
No matter how bad things are today, it will pass, and things will change. Even if we are ready to jump off a cliff (and I've been there multiple times) that terrible feeling will go away and tomorrow holds an unknown promise. We are here for you on that day, and all days, just reach out and ask.
For this Christmas I would like to be out of the house. But my dad has to work during the morning and early afternoon of Christmas day. As such, I have to do the cooking (hence I can't escape) and my sister is inviting people I don't care about who are likely carrying too much drama. My sister has a bad habit of criticizing me for what I wear as the first thing out of her mouth. Plus, I don't need the heartache of talking to strange, drama-filled individuals. For this Christmas, I might as well be alone.
When it gets close to chrismas time I become almost obsessed about my image. Like my xmas day look must be perfect. My mum gets super stressed and dad has this thing were he bypasses angry and skips to furious when someone does something wrong. It doesn't help that we have a mongrel foster kid with no respect.
The end result is an amazing xmas with a tonne of family members to talk to and so much food that we are still eating it 2 weeks later. It can be a little overwelming for new people.
This Christmas will have strong undertones for me, depending on the outcomes of coming out to my SO's it may well be my last with my kids and grandkids... Will probably be thinking about it and quelling the usual doubts right through...
But I will not let my deep thoughts distract others from the holiday period.
Thinking of you all over the holiday period
L Katy
Hhmmm....Depressive moods around the Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays is not exclusive to tg's/ts'. Seasonal Affective Disorder (holiday affective disorder???)...stresses of various/sundry sorts associated with cultural demands...expectations that contrast with re: to what one thinks things should be (or should not be)...past/present losses/tragedies associated with this time of year...et. al....These & other things have the potential to affect all of us. [Doesn't make it any easier for those experiencing it, but it is common/normal.]
Personally, I find the holiday period to be quite stressful, and I think I would feel the same regardless....
I'm a little depressed about Christmas myself. In the past I've always spent it with my parents and one of my sisters was there. That's half my immediate family, but I would have been welcome at either of my other two sister's houses if I had intended to make the longer journey. This year I'm out to my family. I'm accepted by my parents and my furthest away sister. The sister I usually see at Christmas time isn't sure what to make of me and doesn't want her 6 month old baby to see me in a dress (because obviously a baby 100% understands the traditional gender roles). My oldest sister forced my hand to cut her off. She was super judgmental. I won't have anything to do with her until she learns to accept me or at least be respectable and civil to me. If she never does, then I'll never speak to her again.
So yeah while my parents are planning on coming to me, and I'm looking forward to that. Christmas is usually about family and as such its serving as a reminder of the real cost of my transition. The last time I dreaded Christmas was when my ex-fiance broke up with me back in 2001 just about a week prior. I would be welcome at my sister's in California, but I'm in Alabama. Ironically thanksgiving was pretty good, but part of that was my sister in California came to see me.
Wow. I really feel for you ladies. I do have my family (wife and kids) for Christmas and I hope I get to spend many more with them.
However I've had a few lonely Christmases. I did make the most of them though. I went out by myself and had fun. I guess there is always that.
:)
Bleh... Ladies im not gonna lie... I'm having a rough time... I feel awful for all of you :'( I wish I could make it better... I dint know how any of you do this... Transition has been so hard... My parents are getting divorced, so my dad (technically my step dad... He's been around since I was one, and I never got to meet my biological father) has just stopped caring about me, he's mean, has zero patience, and no matter how much effort I put in, he doesn't care. My gf is gone, and at my age its impossible to find someone else accepting... I'm a recovering addict... Its getting harder and harder to stay clean, everything just hurts so bad, id give anything to escape... I don't know anymore... I know people probably have it worse but im getting to the point im failing school, can't sleep, focus, eat... Bleh >.<
Blehhhhhhhh.... I hate life.... blehhhh.
I feel you. Im not dreading Xmas. Hell is yesterday, today, and tomorrow. I know what makes me happy... and its not going to happen for a long time. I need a friend so bad... but yeah... I cope somehow. ... Sleep, binge, cry, flirt, men, cry, work..... repeat. Im literally a modern day Marilyn Monroe, the world sees me as a good hardworking worker.... when Im literally a wrecking ball of emotions and mindless misery.
I sincerely hope you are able to stay clean and things will improve for you Carley Anne
This time of year is very difficult and depressing for me as well in many ways regarding various aspects of my family and situation, I often feel alone and feel like giving up but somehow something keeps me going
I give thanks for the few friends I have and their kindness and understanding, I also give thanks for when I am able to help other people in some way
Don't give up
Hugs
It all depends on what Christmas celebrations were like "before". Ours were very enjoyable, boozy and very irreverent! But then about 15 years ago my wife and I moved countries and we were only back home about every 3 years. Most of our recent Christmas days have been just the 4 of us with my Mum sometimes while she was alive.
I am alone this Christmas by choice I suppose. I supported the idea that my wife and son spend Christmas away from home with her brother whose wife ended up in hospital while on holiday. I am still getting over FFS and feel very tired a lot of the time so it is for the best. So this will be the first alone Christmas for me in all my 52 years. At least most of my family will call (all Outside Australia) or Skype or something....I hope!
It really is just another day. I was alone today and will be the day after tomorrow. No biggie I guess!
Now I'm even more depressed because of the following news stories:
There is a dog that was going to be put down for killing a duck. Fortunately they got some kind of hearing for it and its kill date has been delayed. But the owner doesn't get to see him that often. It still hasn't been cleared up.
There is another dog that reminds me of mine. The owner passed away and put in her will that the dog had to be taken by either her friend, a specific no kill shelter on the other side of the country, or just put it down for no good reason. Her friend didn't want it. The shelter wasn't originally aware of this request. Finally they got word of it and decided to take the dog in.
It made me think though. What would happen to my dog if anything were to happen to me. Right now she's relatively young, but she has aggressive tendencies in unfamiliar situations. Fortunately I got her from a no kill shelter and I suspect she would be able to go back. But what if I moved and there wasn't one nearby. Right now her chances probably aren't good for being a 4 year old dog with aggressive tendencies. Also what if she was a lot older and not in the best of health. On top of losing me, which is hard for a dog, she would also have to deal with her health issues. Anyway a lot of depressing thoughts.
Wow. Christmas Eve wqasnt half bad. XD Had a few drinks more than I should have, but overall not awful hehe ^^ I hope all of you have an amazing christmas!!! It was great to have time with the family, everyone was pretty relaxed which was awesome hehe :)
I was really bummed to be racking up lots of hours at work during Christmas. Usually it's peak season for me at work now, so I was at my desk till 9pm yesterday (Christmas Eve). I was pretty unhappy looking at facebook seeing people post nice photos of where they are, what nice food they're eating...when all I had was a reheatable dinner, and a pile of work on my desk.
But wise man said, no work, no food. So I plugged away.
Still there are many many things I could be thankful for. Being unhappy at Christmas because I was not having "fun" the way society defined it merely meant I was at the top of Maslow's Pyramid (turned temporarily into a Christmas tree).
I was not being hacked/shot/raped/(all of the preceding) to pieces by ISIS in Mosul.
I was not getting cold, wet and rained-upon or snowed-upon like some unfortunate homeless folk.
I was not being hungry or malnourished like people who were unable to afford food/nourishment.
I was not being impoverished with unemployment (that ridiculous pile of work being testament to it). I was not being handsomely paid but work is work is work is pay.
I sat the _ _ _ _ down and ate my dinner and completed my work. Then zipped off at 9pm sharp.
What have you to be thankful for this Christmas season ?