As the title states, there are no gifts under the tree for me this year with my name on it. I didn't come out to my parents, but they found out that I am currently medically transitioning. I'm 6 weeks on T. I've been binding 6 months and my mother saw me throw away all my female clothes. My mother told me a day or two ago that she didn't know what to get me for Christmas this year. I told her that a gift card would be perfect since I'd love to go shopping for myself. Although she had a smile on her face when she told me this, I could see how lost she really was. I know that every year she struggles to find something that looked male but was from the "ladies" section. This year, I think is her breaking point. My parents, although they know I'm trans, have not come up to me to tell me that they know or asked me about it directly. I bravely put everything on the line and decided that transition was the only way for me to continue living. My mother has not treated me any different, but I can see the struggle in her eyes. If this year, I do indeed receive a gift card, I would consider it a great step for my mother. It would be like her saying, here, I trust that you will make the right choices for yourself as you have been doing these past few months. My mother never gives gift cards on Christmas or Birthdays. She doesn't even give us money. It's like her rule. lol Tonight we will be exchanging gifts. I am a bit nervous. This could be the night that me being trans comes up. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to face them head on. It could go well or it could be a complete disaster.
Before this day, my brother told me a story. My parent's were shopping at Victoria's Secret. My mother was looking at some perfume sets and goes, this would be great for the kids, my dad looked at her and was like, what kids, she said, the girls. My dad looked at her and said, both of them? She stopped, looked at him and made a face. My dad and brother were laughing at her since she had forgotten that I was transitioning. She got a little upset and continued to shop around the store. My brother know's I'm trans and so does my sister. I have both of their support. I couldn't bring myself to tell my parents. I tried, but I just couldn't get the words out. I keep thinking back to when I was younger and came out as liking girls. It didn't go so well. I didn't want to relive that time period. So, I started to transition without telling them.
If I receive nothing for Christmas this year, I would not feel sad. This year I gave myself a gift. I went back to school. I think that this is the greatest gift I could have ever given myself.
All kinds of comments are welcomed. :)
Well BIG HUGS young man
:icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug: :icon_hug:
Remember the future is all yours to be the man you are, temporary hiccups are just that.
And it sounds as if your folks know - maybe time to tell them?
Hugs. If your brother and sister are supportive maybe they can be there when you talk to your folks, you don't have to do it alone. Hope you get that gift card and buy yourself some cool dude clothes. :)
Hugs,
The best gifts in life is having inner happiness and love for ones self.
Everything else is just stuff.
Glad your brother and sister are on your side.
Will take time for your parents to understand. Do not write them off so early.
Hugs and Happy holiday
Izzy
Quote from: 2fish on December 24, 2014, 03:36:41 PMTonight we will be exchanging gifts. I am a bit nervous. This could be the night that me being trans comes up. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to face them head on. It could go well or it could be a complete disaster.
So...how did it go?
It occurred to me that Christmas might be a difficult time for people when it comes to picking out things to give. So much of what we give to people is somewhat related to their gender, and it's got to be hard for those who know about the fact that we're transitioning to pick things that are appropriate for us
and them during the initial stages when their minds are still catching up to reality.
If you ended up with with girl stuff from your parents, so be it. Chalk it up to them having difficulty letting go of the past - no huge deal. Start worrying when they're still doing the same thing ten years down the road. Times like this are really weird. Lord knows what my wife and parents might have me unwrap tomorrow morning - I just hope it's not some huge trigger that sends me reeling back six months into the depths of dysphoria.
Hope it went well for you.
UPDATE: Well, I didn't get the gift card...I got CASH! I'm in like Shock! My mom handed me a box, inside the box was 10 Christmas cards, each had money in them. We had a nice laugh as each card had the same picture of a cat on it. It was fun. I really enjoyed tonight. I'm not sure yet what I'll be spending the money on yet. I'd like to put it into my top surgery fund, but we will see. It's strange to see my mom finally letting go. I may officially come out to her before the end of this year. I'm feeling super happy that things are looking good.
Hey, glad it went that well! It's wonderful to hear that your family are beginning to accept!
Way to go dude!
Quote from: 2fish on December 25, 2014, 01:09:56 AM
UPDATE: Well, I didn't get the gift card...I got CASH! I'm in like Shock! My mom handed me a box, inside the box was 10 Christmas cards, each had money in them. We had a nice laugh as each card had the same picture of a cat on it. It was fun. I really enjoyed tonight. I'm not sure yet what I'll be spending the money on yet. I'd like to put it into my top surgery fund, but we will see. It's strange to see my mom finally letting go. I may officially come out to her before the end of this year. I'm feeling super happy that things are looking good.
Yay!
Quote from: Brenda E on December 24, 2014, 06:41:42 PM
So...how did it go?
It occurred to me that Christmas might be a difficult time for people when it comes to picking out things to give. So much of what we give to people is somewhat related to their gender, and it's got to be hard for those who know about the fact that we're transitioning to pick things that are appropriate for us and them during the initial stages when their minds are still catching up to reality.
If you ended up with with girl stuff from your parents, so be it. Chalk it up to them having difficulty letting go of the past - no huge deal. Start worrying when they're still doing the same thing ten years down the road. Times like this are really weird. Lord knows what my wife and parents might have me unwrap tomorrow morning - I just hope it's not some huge trigger that sends me reeling back six months into the depths of dysphoria.
Hope it went well for you.
Kind of like Ralphe in A Christmas Story, whose aunt was under the impression he was perpetually 4 years old, and a girl: pink bunny suit. And just kind of laugh it off and chalk it up to awkwardness. Focus on the thought (they got you a gift) and try not to read too much into the intent (if an inappropriately gendered gift). Say thank you with a smile.
Heck, maybe we should have a Susan's gift exchange, where the guys can swap their girly gifts with the ladies who got manly gifts from relatives.
Jay
I used some of the money to purchase a new binder, I'm getting in shape and my binders started to fit a little loose. Yay!
So happy that you got *close to* what you wanted/needed for Christmas. I was going to suggest you use at least a part of the fund to get yourself something bad ass to wear and post it in the proper thread, but a binder is awesome too. :)
As an educator, I HAVE to say that giving yourself education is also a really cool gift. Kudos and good luck with that. :)
Quote from: LoriLorenz on December 30, 2014, 02:54:37 AM
As an educator, I HAVE to say that giving yourself education is also a really cool gift. Kudos and good luck with that. :)
I believe that education is the greatest treasure ever. Learning new things should never be limited to one's formal education, and I think that people should challenge themselves to expand their (and others') horizons on a daily basis. I actively admire those who love to learn new things on their own.
Conversely, I find willful ignorance to be the antithesis of sexiness.