Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Quote from: my friend

Quote from: Nichole W.This is a profoundly alone kinda experience. Like being born, or dying. Both at once.

This keeps reverberating around in me. Exactly how I've always described this too. I mean if you want to get all spiritually and destinyish about all this, we LIVE what to most people are just poetic metaphors. Being reborn, rising from the ashes, slaying your inner demons, being true to yourself... these aren't just words and pretty poetry.

Quote from: Note of ExplanationA while ago I got a letter from a friend in response to the quote from me. The second quote is from her.

What follows is my response to her response to me. I dont know that there are ways out or through the gender/sex labyrinth that most all of us appear to travel through. But, it does strike me that I think she helped me clarify MY take on some of it.

After sleeping on this, I also realize that that, the sentences I have italicized, are maybe why in the past and in less technological and less patriarchical cultures we were considered more closely connected to the spirit/god world than other humans. We partook of both genders in so many ways. I imagine that the dissonance that creates within us has always meant that we have the possibility of bridging gaps between humanity. And between humanity and divinity, at least in the imaginations of others.

That sort of regard seems to have gone out of fashion when the patriarchy grew to dominate thinking and acting and the ties between humans and the divine. I can only make prejudiced guesses why that occurred in that era. So maybe I should not do so.

In our age it is definitely a torturous path for most. But, in point of fact, healers always require healing before they can heal others. This life situation will defintely require healing, and I am not talking about surgeries here either.

For me to grow as myself, I need to wander the labyrinth and face the minotaur at the center of it. It seems to me that once I recognize and accept that the minotaur is identical to Nichole then I have reached a major milestone. I have passed most of the labyrinth testing.

Now, I have to find my way back out of it. Did I unskein the thread in my pathway down the corridors and turns? If not, then I can still be lost and just as wounded after I have faced the beast as I was when I entered the labyrinth.

There are all sorts of shortcuts some try to make to being a woman, to being a two spirit, to being a man. The choices seem to me to be about equal: the differences come in my own particular orientation to healing and recovery.

Remembering AND forgetting seem to me to be a part of that course OUT of the labyrinth and back into A life. For me the comfort lies in congruence: a female self. For another that congruence may lie in a blend of both sexes. For another it may lie in remaining male.

But, if we are to find wholeness, I do believe that the journey into, the confrontation at the heart of, and the course back out of the labyrinth is necessary, essential.

Yes, that Is all 'spiritually and destinyish!' Simply because, in my view, that is all part and parcel, along with body, energy and mind, of who I really am. If I am unable to discover my wholeness, how can I present others with a means of discovering wholeness?

Hugs,

Nichole

Quote from: Nichole W
...
Yes, that Is all 'spiritually and destinyish!' Simply because, in my view, that is all part and parcel, along with body, energy and mind, of who I really am. If I am unable to discover my wholeness, how can I present others with a means of discovering wholeness?

I don't think you can. Everyone has to discover it in their own way. Even when some one shows us, we can not believe. Which may be why you are having trouble discovering your own? Maybe it's right in front of you?

Love always,
Elizabeth

Thanks Nicole for the wonderful analogy (allegory?).  It never fails when there is something that my soul needs to hear, someone steps up and delivers...thank you so much for helping put things in perspective.

I, too, am wandering the labyrinth, but am still on my way in.  I have seen glimpses of myself in the center, but have yet to conquer my own fears before confronting the minotaur.  Fortunately, the job is getting easier, but I know the biggest battles are yet to be fought.  Strangely enough, the battles are all with myself...when it comes times to meet the minotaur, it will be as a long lost friend, not as an enemy.

Thanks, and Goddess Bless,

......Laurry

Nichole, you're truly a wise woman and a worthy daughter of our shamaness/priestess ancestors. Your mythological insight is very valuable. The Goddess smiles on you.