Hi, I am not sure if this was the right section to post in but I figured I could get the best advice here.
I am a 31 year old male who has been married for 9 years and my wife and I have a 6 year old son. My problem is that for most of my life (since the age of 6 or 7) I have wanted my own breasts even though I am a heterosexual male.
When I was a teenager I had the double edged sword of not only being attracted to breasts, but I was quite often jealous that I did not have my own. I did all the usual things such as stuffing bras and using water filled balloons for the majority of my life and my wife has known about my desire to have my own breasts since before we were married.
A few months ago my wife purchased me some breast forms as a surprise gift, now while I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to not only have an understanding but also a supportive partner, the breast forms have had an unforeseen side effect... For realism they are as close as I can currently get to having physical breasts unless I take hormones or go under the knife for augmentation surgery. My problem is that I now want to experience the reality of having breasts more than at any time in the past and I have been wearing my forms as often as possible (rarely in public except when driving) and so often that my wife now thinks I look strange without them and this has caused me to be almost constantly thinking about taking the next step and getting breast augmentation surgery.
My wife has always supported my desire to have breasts and has said that she would support me if I did decide to have surgery, my main concerns are the impact it could have on my family from judgemental members of the public as I don't want my family to be ashamed of me and I also worry that while my wife is very supportive that it may adversely impact our sex life if I take the surgery option even though she suggested expander implants so that I could reach a size that we were both happy with.
I just hope that someone here may have been in a similar situation or knows of someone who was and can offer some advice as I surely need it. My mental image of myself has always been of an atypical alpha male but with the addition of breasts and now when I am without my forms I feel as if I have had a limb forcibly amputated. I just worry that if I do get surgery that I am being selfish at the detriment to my loved ones, but I also worry that if I do not get the surgery that I will regret not doing so for the rest of my life and feel like I am living a lie as I would not be who I truly feel I am inside.
Regards,
BlokeWantsBoobs
BlokeWantsBoobs
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I would think maybe a therapist can help clear some of the fog.
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I think seeing a therapist would be the best first step before you do anything permanent. I'm not even sure if you could get BA without some kind of gender related therapy. If this has been a thing for you since age 7 it might be time to look into why.
I agree with grace in seeing a therapist. I would also recommend you wear your breast forms in public for a few months before going under the knife.
The first session I had with my therapist, I mentioned how much I hated having hairy legs. She said go for it and shave them. I said well that's going to force me into an explanation if people notice. She said if you can't deal with something that simple now, how are you going to be able to deal with the actual transition later on. So I went for it. She was right. It made a huge difference to me and was a first step in coming out. Now I'm 100% out. I get to focus on my transition and I'm far beyond caring what other people think. Fortunately I found a lot of people around me both at home and at work have been supportive. It sounds like your wife is supportive and that right there sounds great.
So like my situation with my legs, if you can't wear your breast forms in public now, how are you going to deal with having implants 24/7? You can always stop wearing breast forms anytime you wish. Its a lot harder to remove implants.
No therapy is necessary for a consenting adult wishing breast augmentation. This is one of many listings online, and you seem to be a candidate for their procedure. Implants are always removable if you desire anyway. http://www.revalla.com/male-to-female-top-surgery.html
Best wishes and keep us posted!
Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Ms Grace on December 30, 2014, 03:15:03 PM
I think seeing a therapist would be the best first step before you do anything permanent. I'm not even sure if you could get BA without some kind of gender related therapy. If this has been a thing for you since age 7 it might be time to look into why.
^^THIS^^
I had a dream when I was about 12 where I was literally chasing a floating pair of breasts down the street like a carrot on a stick. Now I know why. Please see a gender therapist to try to get to the bottom of this. It really could be that you'd even be much happier if your brain was just running on female hormones. If this was the case, it could be that you end up growing a natural pair instead of ending up with one or more sets of scars from augmentations and revisions.
That sounds like fun!
Quote from: Jill F on December 30, 2014, 03:46:58 PM
^^THIS^^
I had a dream when I was about 12 where I was literally chasing a floating pair of breasts down the street like a carrot on a stick. Now I know why. Please see a gender therapist to try to get to the bottom of this. It really could be that you'd even be much happier if your brain was just running on female hormones. If this was the case, it could be that you end up growing a natural pair instead of ending up with one or more sets of scars from augmentations and revisions.
Quote from: Devlyn Marie on December 30, 2014, 03:25:28 PM
No therapy is necessary for a consenting adult wishing breast augmentation. This is one of many listings online, and you seem to be a candidate for their procedure. Implants are always removable if you desire anyway. http://www.revalla.com/male-to-female-top-surgery.html
Best wishes and keep us posted!
Hugs, Devlyn
In this CYA age I suspect most cosmetic surgeons in the US would be reluctant to do a BA w/o a permission slip from a therapist.
As for the op, I have to second the test drive the breast forms full time. I love my boobs but I don't have the option of wearing anything but baggy tops and forget swimming or any topless activity where I can be seen. But for me it came about as a choice between staying alive, getting healthier, or dieing.
Quote from: JoanneB on December 30, 2014, 04:32:08 PM
In this CYA age I suspect most cosmetic surgeons in the US would be reluctant to do a BA w/o a permission slip from a therapist.
As for the op, I have to second the test drive the breast forms full time. I love my boobs but I don't have the option of wearing anything but baggy tops and forget swimming or any topless activity where I can be seen. But for me it came about as a choice between staying alive, getting healthier, or dieing.
You're kidding, right? Women get boob jobs every day without a therapist, and this doctor (one of many) makes no mention of male patients requiring therapy to get one either. If it mentions therapy, I missed it.
Somehow I think this topic has already run its course.