Hiya!
The names Jena I am 19 years old, and am new to Susan's Place and am really excited to be a part of such a great community. I am in-between semester in college as an engineer. I have recently came out to my parents who have been really supportive :). Right now I am in a pickle, at the college I am currently going to there is no real LGBT club/organization nor therapist in the area that would be able to help me start transition. So I am stuck between deciding whether or not dropping out for the semester, and transition (MtF), while working and living at home, or going to college this upcoming semester, and waiting to transition until the summer. I unfortunately suffer from male pattern baldness, and am worried that it cost me more down the road if I wait, as well as having to deal with yet another four months of hell in a body that I hate. Also if i did decided to drop out for the semester I would be able to get my money back, and I will enroll in a local college next semester. The only problem with not going to college this semester is that I would have to wait until the fall (2015) till I could start classes again.
Thank You so much for letting be apart of such a great community, and any advice would be really helpful.
so the college has no counseling center
Hey! It's a pleasure to have you in this community, and I hope I can offer some useful advice.
The first thing you should keep in mind is that your transition isn't going to happen overnight-or even in six months. It's an ongoing process. It's taken me about three years to make it to where I am, and my transition still isn't completely finished. What I'm getting at is that if you leave school for a semester, you're still going to be in the process when you return. Hormones take about eighteen months to make any dramatic changes, or they might take even longer. Surgery has it's requirements too. It's also a very difficult process psychologically. Trust me-I thought I could do it that way too: Go to collage full time, and it'd be like a switch had flipped. It didn't really work that way-it's a long journey you're embarking on. This isn't always a bad thing either; when I first came out (I was seventeen), I had the option to take a gap year or just go straight into collage. I choose the latter, and I'm happy that I did-transitioning genders is a very stressful process, and for me being able to concentrate on more than that one thing helped me make it through that first year. That being said, getting on hormones ASAP is also important-is there absolutely no way to see a doctor who might prescribe them? I don't know where you live, but in the States a lot of LGBT friendly clinics no longer require extensive psychotherapy before starting hormones.
For me personally, staying at home wasn't as appealing since my family was somewhat hesitant to accept my transition-but more importantly, I did not want my transition to run my life. That's something you really should take to heart going forward. This is part of who you are, a very significant part, but if you let it influence every decision you make, you might really regret it. It's important to consider all of your needs-would you have any support at school, even if it's just from friends? Some of my biggest allies in my transition were cis and straight. Would you be able to deal with the process of transitioning without having anything else on your plate? I know I could never have done that, but then again-not everyone like to be busy! What about a therapist? I'm not going to push the "get a gender therapist" card as hard as some of the other girls here, but seeing someone, even if they aren't a specialist really can help you a lot. I suppose what I'm saying is that you should consider the big picture, and keep in mind that this is all a process.
You're going to grow as a person in ways you can't even imagine in the next few years, and not just physically! It's a process, but the payoff is huge. Just don't let yourself develop tunnel vision; your situation sounds very similar to what mine was, and if you'd ever like to talk with someone who's been there, my email address is listed on my profile information :)
Best of luck to you hon-I really hope things go well!!!
-Sasha
First of all it is never too late. This 6 ft tall 58 y/o EE, balding since 14 can attest to that.
For support nearby uni, look for a TG support group. You may have drive a bit. One of my group members has about a 90 mile drive from her college town. And my group isn't even in a big city. It's another hour or two to real city.
Check out a ton of self help books. They come in all sorts of flavors. Find a few that talk to you. You likely have a ton of baggage and plenty of self esteem problems as I did. I'd also recommend staying away from You-Tube. I sure don't like depressing myself seeing super success stories. My bar is not having rocks thrown at me.
One of my occupational hazards as an engineer is What If'ing things to death. Worrying and analyzing each and every little tweak to a circuit. If I'm not right some very bad and spectacular things can happen. Far beyond the simple "Letting out the magic smoke" from a chip. Life aint so simple. It cannot be controlled. In a word...
Mindfulness. Find a couple of Jon Kabatt Zinn Mindful Meditation books.
For inspiration, I got totally turned on to Richard Bach's Illusions followed by Jonathon Livingston Seagull. An awful lot crosses over to the transasphere. Both a yearly must reads for me. Especially if I am diving into a WTF am I doing ??? funk
Hi Jena :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's some quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
Hi Jena and welcome to Susan's. Congratulations on beginning your transition.
:)
Welcome Jena to Susan's family
Lots of topics to explore and posts to write
Safe passage on your path
Hi Jena,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Bit of a dilemma you're in at the minute. I'd think, as you're committed to transitioning, that education should be your focus. Life, post transition has it's own dynamics that having an education would help you more so a ing it than not.
Essentially there shouldn't be anything stopping you talking to an Endocronoligist during this semester about hormone therapy which may assist the MPB. There are a number of ways to manage that aspect while you manage your transition.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine