Hello. I'm new to this section and will greatly appreciate some help for a research paper. I posted that I would like help with a few questions and some comments on the transsexual and FTM sections, but I need help from the women here.
I am so busy with transgender men and such that I am overlooking one very important, in my opinion for this paper, question. How is is transitioning from a man to a woman? In my lifetime I've seen women put down, seen as lesser, told by family I should stop trying to be the man, and told to do more "girly" things. So how is it living your life as a male in a "mans world" and then adjusting to a womans life? I know this probably sounds confusing but I just would like some insight from other perspectives and can't write a thorough paper without getting all the viewpoints.
In case some of you aren't aware, it's a research paper about something we either went over or related to psychology. I decided to do mines on transgender and transsexual people since I live in a city where there aren't even that many gay and lesbians to begin with, and I only know of one kid whos a transsexual and she had to move because of being bullied. So its really both a paper to tell of the misconceptions and myths and education everyone a little.
Any help would be appreciated and I would love to hear from you all.
That is a wonderful thing you are doing and I hope that your paper has good reviews, as well as promotes trans awareness. You can use this if you like or consider it a testimony.
Living as a man in a "mans world", was quite easy for me since I grew up as one and learned how to be one. In societies eyes I was a normal "straight" male, but inside I was struggling with self identification and belonging. Being a man seemed quite a laid back type of exsistance with a high expectation on being manly, strong, and a good provider later on in life. I was always ok with the views on gender roles, but I always felt and thought about equality and non gender binary rules should apply to either sex. I grew up how my parents wanted me to, but secretly did a lot of things that girls would typically do, girls toys, clothes, makeup, etc. I would cringe on the inside whenever I was called the wrong pronouns because I was not able to identify with them. But would to the best of my ability, try and ignore it. Finally after years of slowly hating myself and who I was on the inside, I decided it was enough. I stopped living my life the way everyone around me was expecting me to live and began transitioning to female. I had always felt that I could think and identify better as female then a male, so it was quite obvious that I was making the right choice.
Over these past 10 months of living as a female during my transition, I have seen quite more clearly how much more work and effort is involved in being a woman. As well as how men truly view and treat women. It has been quite a amazing journey so far. I am still the same kind hearted, loving individual I have always been, but now I am free to express my femininity and outer self as I choose. From how I dress, to how I choose to speak. It's not simply the idea of being able to express myself in a feminine manner more freely, as it is to finally look into the mirror and be more at ease with how I view myself. Softer, smoother, more shapely. It's a matter of self identification, no more different then showing off a new tattoo. It's the freedom of showing my inner self on the outside. The same would go for FtM, who choose to show their masculine nature and gender on the outside the same as the way they feel they are on the inside. I did not choose to be transgender, and I did not choose to live in a society of judgement and discrimination. I did choose to live freely and in the open, and I did choose to present my outer self the same as how I viewed my inner self. "I am female and always have been, you are just simply seeing it finally on the outside".
Honestly , I was never[( ever ever ever)^INFINITY] a man . I pretended to be a male out of fear of harassment , embarrassment or any thing that would provoke the peanut gallery to single me out. I tried my best to be a male in relationships , but was finally told by a girl I loved that I would make a better girl. I tried my best in sports but something inside always held me back. I always felt that I didn't belong. I'm sad that it took so long to get to transitioning. I'm having a great time now , but too many years have past . it's a new being though so hoist the colors and move forward.
Feel free to PM me with specific questions, if that helps at all :).
Regarding how society has treated me, well, I guess I would have claimed to be A feminist before transitioning, i mean I totally felt women should be treated equal to men and everything, but I truly did not understand what it meant or why until after seeing how it actually was to be treated like a woman. The very first thing I noticed was how my opinions were valued less, how men were so apt to explain things to me that I clearly understood better than them, and how being intelligent was often a detriment. Nobody would ever say that, you will only hear men say they love smart women, but my experience is it is better to just not say anything when there's a man talikng about his opinions. I also noticed how that affected me, and how fast it happened. I now have no patience for debate. If somebody wants to argue with me I just leave rather than stick up for myself. If I stay, I get run over, and if I don't let myself be run over, I lose stature, i.e., people like me less, I'm less attractive, cause nobody likes an uppity woman that stands her ground. i dont't know, there is just so much. I mean that is literally the very first thing I noticed.
It's true that women are often seen as "lesser". There is less pushback to an FTM than an MTF.
I, however, hold women in high regard. They are more valued. Men are disposable. Men are sent off to war to be maimed and killed. In a shipwreck it's "women and children first".
I've never had any interest in manly sports, but enjoy music, theatre and the arts. I can feel quite at home in a room full of women, but become quite un-easy in a room full of men. At family or social gatherings where the men and women drift in separate directions, I'm usually with the women. I could never attend a Super-Bowl party unless I was in the kitchen with the women.
Giving up "male privilege" was not a problem since I could never own it. I still resent being drafted in the late 1960's while women were not so obligated.
As a young boy I was told to act like a little man and not be comforted when I was hurt, not to cry. On Sunday's I had to wear an itchy wool suit instead of a pretty soft silky and comfortable dress. No one ever complimented me on my appearance.
Now that I think of it, it's not so much that I need to be a woman, but that I have never liked being a man.
Randi
Quote from: LatrellHK on December 31, 2014, 12:12:15 PM
How is is transitioning from a man to a woman? In my lifetime I've seen women put down, seen as lesser, told by family I should stop trying to be the man, and told to do more "girly" things. So how is it living your life as a male in a "mans world" and then adjusting to a womans life?
Quote from: Randi on December 31, 2014, 02:26:45 PM
It's true that women are often seen as "lesser". There is less pushback to an FTM than an MTF.
I, however, hold women in high regard. They are more valued. Men are disposable. Men are sent off to war to be maimed and killed. In a shipwreck it's "women and children first".
I've never had any interest in manly sports, but enjoy music, theatre and the arts. I can feel quite at home in a room full of women, but become quite un-easy in a room full of men. At family or social gatherings where the men and women drift in separate directions, I'm usually with the women. I could never attend a Super-Bowl party unless I was in the kitchen with the women.
Giving up "male privilege" was not a problem since I could never own it. I still resent being drafted in the late 1960's while women were not so obligated.
As a young boy I was told to act like a little man and not be comforted when I was hurt, not to cry. On Sunday's I had to wear an itchy wool suit instead of a pretty soft silky and comfortable dress. No one ever complimented me on my appearance.
Now that I think of it, it's not so much that I need to be a woman, but that I have never liked being a man.
Randi
ditto
Before transitioning I was constantly being involved in doing and talking about things that were either boring or felt subconciously inappropriate to me. People just assumed that, because I appeared as male I had interests in all manly things. Behind the scenes I was a completely different person and only really showed it when no-one I knew was around.
During early transition I noticed that the men in my life were trying everything they could to get manly input out of me while the women kept a more open mind to my interests and capabilities. Women let me pick my own path which gave me the oppertunity to feel my own way into social conventions. children seemed to adapt (and want to) to the new version of me very quickly.
Because I am in a female dominated work place I don't ever see men being the more respected species. If anything, men are shown to be poor planners as they don't seem to think things through propperly. Last night was new years night and the men were in charge of bringing the drinks. They got a tonne of beers but "forgot" to bring wine glasses, the wine, and even the vodca cruesers for the girls. Instead they bought non alchoholic fizzy drinks so we could drive them home.
In the later stages of transition I still don't notice how men are supposed to be the more respected gender. But I did stand up for womens abilities last night when a little boy started aggressively putting down the girls around him. I won't tollerate sexist behaviour as I believe that women and men are good at different things and neither is better than the other.
As for me, I have become more comfortable and secure within myself since being in transition. The confidence boost has allowed me to open up, which in turn made me more of a talkative/ inviting person