After an interesting encounter late this afternoon and a reassuring but not really helpful conversation with a police constable. I'm wondering how does one stay safe when living by themselves. I was told.
1. Keep my phone with me when I answer the door
2. Talk to my neighbors
3. Don't let anybody I don't known in
What do you do to keep safe when living by yourself?
Good question - I suppose a lot of it depends on your living circumstances and what additional security features your place has - like bars on the windows if you live in a ground floor apartment. Mind you, living above ground level is not a guarantee of safey... years ago the people in the flat above mine were broken into by someone who shimmied up a drain pipe and came in through their tiny but open bathroom window.
Personally, I tend to have items to protect myself in case of emergency stashed around the house so no matter where I am, if something goes down, I should at least be able to defend myself.
It might seem a little paranoid, but I live about 20 minutes drive from the nearest police station, so if something happens, I'm all I've got.
My neighbours are never really around, so I can't really go to them for assistance most of the time... I definitely don't open the door to people I don't know and if I really don't trust the situation, I won't let on that I'm home at all. Because I don't drive, it's generally impossible to tell whether I'm home or not at any given time.
Other than that, I try to stay aware of who is around me when I'm walking back to my house, so I'm prepared in case someone feels they want to try something.
I also try to be home, indoors and locked up by nightfall (unless I'm staying at a friend's place obviously). I live down the road from a fairly notorious bar and I like to do everything I can to avoid any of the more unsavoury types there becoming aware of my existence.
I had to deal with a home invasion/attempted rape a few years ago, the guy came right in my unlocked front door
Luckily the guy became confused and frustrated upon realizing I didn't possess the desired genitalia and left muttering rude profanities to himself
I was told much of the same advise
Always lock your doors and windows (when I do open a window I place a pre-cut stick to limit how far the window will open)
Always have a phone handy
Be very careful who you allow in
Unfortunately, such experience has caused me a bit of paranoia and so I also have various items intended for self defense laying about
Last person that got too jumpy around me copped a lay exorcism.
It ended in tears ... :~o
When my twin and I were young we learnt martial arts. How to defend myself will never be forgotten. My big brother also taught me to have a weapon by the front door (I have a home made wooden sword) incase someone tries to muscle their way in and I also have nosey neibours so if something happens all I need to do is scream and yell and they come running.
oh and how does a "lay exorcism" work? I might try it! :-X
Danielle ... well technically they are not permitted.
But from a psycho-social point of view .... I think its likely a lot of Latin phrases have entered our 'subconscious' over time.
I wear a blessed Benedictine cross sometimes. It's been used to chase devils for 1500 years by Catholics and Anglicans alike. I drove a meth-head off the bus with it once.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Benedict_Medal
When I was baptised this year, I was confirmed under St.Benedict. I also took Benedict for my surname. You could say he is my guardian.
Maybe it's just from being in the military but I've ussually felt pretty safe knowing I have a gun, especially since I pretty damn accurate at long range so I'm probably not going to miss you in my house, and sorry I was trained never shot at something if you're not going to try and kill it. I'll give a warning shot, basically don't break into my house I'll assume you want to harm my son or myself, you can hurt my wife a little ( ok just kidding).
I recommend reviewing your behavior at home and the layout. A gun can certainly help but if the thug gets in and puts themself between you and the gun it won't do you much good.
I could go on for hours about it but really there's plenty of videos online about it and lots of gun safety courses to help you train for either ending a confrontation hard and fast or scaring them off long enough to get to a safe place.
Personally, I don't own a gun. But I'm not helpless. If theres an intruder I'm escaping until help arrives or the fool prevents me from leaving and I make the call to either carve the intruder up like a pie or play helpless because producing more weapons only makes it easier and more fun for them.
A bit of common sense seems to have worked so far. If that stops working there are three large dogs, a quaterstaff, a couple of broadswords, Gods only know how many daggers, a couple of bows and some throwing knives. If that lot doesn't do then cutting sarcasm is all I have left.
Rosie
I collect knives and swords, own two handguns and three compound bows. I always have something about three feet from me in case someone gets through the one lock on my flat's door.
Well being a complete softy I can't imagine using a weapon at all. I would hope that running around screaming and peeing would have the desired effect and make any unwanted visitor run away in horror.
conceal carry permit
I lived on our 1oo acre farm by myself, you talk about some creepy nights. Always had a loaded shotgun within arms reach of my bed. our private drive was a mile long so being totally off the beatin path cant take chances.
Are you talkin bout that drug dealer guy mace his ass
I don't seem to ever feel afraid.
I've always had this ability to calm people and defuse situations using only words.
Wriggled myself out of countless tight spots by 'leveling' with people.
Even as a guy, when other guys mistook me for someone else and drunkenly demanded a fight, these situations ended up like a therapy session.
Dunno if I'm naive, or just confident, or both :~o
I never have a gun around. It would have been a very bad idea in years past and I would be worm food if I had one. But, these days, I have plenty of implements to protect myself. I don't worry about anyone surprising me if I open the door and there happens to be some freak on the other side of it. They would get bum-rushed, any weapon that they would have would be used on THEM...you can bank on that. All you need is the ability to go completely psychotic on people at a moments notice and kill them, if you need to. If they didn't have a weapon, I would throw them down the stairs and they would probably break their neck in the process. The hell with them. Anyone that attacks me is toast. The only time I had some schmuck come in on me was about a year or so after I moved here. Some drunk dude walked through the door. I stood up, grabbed my whiskey bottle and started towards him and yelled: "Who the *bleep* are you?!". That guy was scared out of his wits and got away as fast as he could. Considering how drunk he was, it was a miracle that he didn't trip over his own feet going down the stairs.
Understanding that not everyone can have a weapon (and the knowledge to use it, I would suggest, in addition to the police suggestions, that one reinforce and/or lock their screen door, or get a peephole for the main door. Be sure to get a peep that can be closed, so the BG can't use a reverse-fisheye to peer inside your home.
imho, noise and delay can thwart many (but not all) intruders.
When in doubt--don't open the door.
DO NOT even think about a gun if you are not absolutely sure in your heart of hearts that you can point it at another human and blow a series of holes into the mother F'r. Thinking that it will "Scare" them off is insanity! Most people cannot pull that trigger when push comes to shove. The weapon will only be used against you. If you do happen to have a gun, DO NOT even think of telling ANYONE you do. First you loose the shock value and second, it just may be what they want knowing you will not pull that trigger or even mostly said so. ("That should scare them off")
Once you pass that hurdle you best damn well be able to hit something 15ft away which takes practice, practice, practice. Believe me, I've shot competitively with and against the police and armed services people. Cops for the most part cannot hit the broad side of a barn if you go by how bad they shoot in matches they volunteer for! From many cops I know they dread having to "Qualify" on the range.
I grew up and for decades lived just outside NYC, and also lived in the boonies for a while. In either case the police are too far away. The phone is your best first defense after all the usual precautionary measures like peep holes and intercoms, Never "Buzz" someone in w/o checking first, or opening the door for a sob story from someone you do not personally know, not just "seen around", no matter the time of day or weather. Within a minute that hinkey person may be busting down the door. Of course open windows, unlocked doors etc. are unwise. I have to admit, living in the boonies I got less diligent about locked doors.
And the car.... Always lock it (includes windows), no matter where or for how long away you'll be. ALWAYS look inside before getting in. Especially the back behind under and buried. If you're like most women, the back can double for a garbage dump with all the stuff tossed back there. (A very good clue the car is owned/operated by a woman) If something does not look right, keep walking and call for help. The b/g just may have friends lurking nearby so don't linger.
Multiple weapon stashes around the home is also wise. Long distance weapons are best. Bear Spray is always good. Any nasty spray can in a pinch. Especially one with a stream and not a spray. I never leave the house w/o a large size pepper spray good for 30+ seconds and a good 10 or more feet handy.
BTW-I am no tiny frail looking thing. Dead is dead. I'm going through all this transition stuff to avoid that alternate reality. If you think I am paranoid, don't ask my wife this question. I am a far too trusting soul by her standards. Oh, and she grew up in NYC
I feel like such a foreigner. Firearms are mostly illegal in Aussie land ... we don't have a culture of keeping them for self-defense.
Quote from: SarahBoo on January 01, 2015, 10:17:15 PM
I feel like such a foreigner. Firearms are mostly illegal in Aussie land ... we don't have a culture of keeping them for self-defense.
I was thinking that before, the difference in gun laws and culture between the U.S. and Aus are pretty stark. No judgement at all either way, it's just interesting to note.
I think I'd be more of a danger to myself than anyone else if I had a gun, so it's probably best that I don't....
Quote from: SarahBoo on January 01, 2015, 10:17:15 PM
I feel like such a foreigner. Firearms are mostly illegal in Aussie land ... we don't have a culture of keeping them for self-defense.
Guns can be kept in Australia but the rules are very strict. As I understand it you and only you can have the key to the gun safe at all times. If the police come and do a spot check. Your not there and someone in your house can open it up you're up that famous creek without a means of propulsion.
Quote from: MyKa on January 01, 2015, 06:57:50 PM
conceal carry permit
I lived on our 1oo acre farm by myself, you talk about some creepy nights. Always had a loaded shotgun within arms reach of my bed. our private drive was a mile long so being totally off the beatin path cant take chances.
Are you talkin bout that drug dealer guy mace his ass
That and it also got me thinking how many of us do live alone as (young) adults. Be it single, no flat mates, single parents or our partners are out for the night
Quote from: Ally_B on January 01, 2015, 10:25:22 PM
I was thinking that before, the difference in gun laws and culture between the U.S. and Aus are pretty stark. No judgement at all either way, it's just interesting to note.
I think I'd be more of a danger to myself than anyone else if I had a gun, so it's probably best that I don't....
Drugs of dependency are kept under lock and key, because they are known to be high-risk. Rightly so. Firearms are also high-risk (takes just one disgruntled college student) ... but are freely available in some places. I don't get it.
I'm much happier living in a place, knowing that people around me are probably *not* packing :~s
I keep safe by..
1. Whenever I'm walking to my front door or car, I always have my keys out so my entry is as quick as possible. *I also have mace on my key-chain.
2. If I'm the only one home & I'm not expecting company, i don't answer the door. If it's important, they'll probably show up again at a later time or call.
3. At intersections or when my car is stopped, I always have the doors locked & windows up. I don't live in a bad area, but i figure it's good practice.
4. I try to always be aware of who's around me and roughly where, while alone & in public.
Quote from: SarahBoo on January 01, 2015, 10:33:04 PM
Drugs of dependency are kept under lock and key, because they are known to be high-risk. Rightly so. Firearms are also high-risk (takes just one disgruntled college student) ... but are freely available in some places. I don't get it.
I'm much happier living in a place, knowing that people around me are probably *not* packing :~s
I don't mean to be rude, but the idea behind having guns being freely available is let the correct people have the guns to stop the people with misused or stolen guns. If guns were allowed on school property for example, though not necessarily for just anyone, preferably the teachers, then perhaps the college students trying to go on killing sprees would be stopped early. Sorry just wanted to give a glimpse of why some people consider gun freedom as a good thing. None of this is meant to be condescending, just wanna throw that out there.
Quote from: Ferretty on January 02, 2015, 12:12:59 AM
I don't mean to be rude, but the idea behind having guns being freely available is let the correct people have the guns to stop the people with misused or stolen guns.
Not taken wrongly at all, don't worry :~)
But I must also say that I'm an opponent of the 'everyone carry just in case' idea, too.
Imagine having a mall or cinema or other public place, full of people, mass confusion, everybody firing at everything. That's a scenario I never hope to see ... and I really don't think its a solution ...
I have a Dobermann, and she is a good protector. The problem is that she is everything to me, and the desire is for me to protect her. I do feel that a good defense is the best solution. Securing windows and locking doors seems like the most important thing, and not doing that is the most common way people get in.
I have heard that the theft rate for people on the ground floor is actually less, because owners/renters are more careful with windows and doors. Thieves know this and will often target upper floors, because it is easier and people are less careful.
I do have a peephole, but I am thinking of adding a camera. That way I could selectively open the door. I can do that now, but there is enough noise walking to the peephole, that someone would still know if I came to the door.
There are as we know big differences in he legality and availability of weapons that are either offensive or defensive. Just about anything is banned in Australia (and I think the UK) that fit those categories.
Izzy and Sarah, not sure if you can fit them in your places but I have an external screen door, so after I open my front door I can see who is there through reinforced mesh. This door is also double locked so not easily opened. I also have a monitored burglar alarm and coupled to that is a panic alarm, so even if I cannot get to a phone I just need to hit the panic button to alert the security service who will notify the police and they send their own people.
Might seem over the top but I have been abused and never again.
I don't actually live alone, but I might as well. My housemate would probably curl into a ball and expect me to defend *him*, should anyone intrude.
We have security screens on every window and door which is great. I don't feel terribly unsafe.
Besides that, i really just keep to my standard precautions. I don't go out at night (over it anyway!) ... don't give out my address ... I can read people a mile off, too.
Quote from: DanielleA on January 01, 2015, 06:56:30 AM
When my twin and I were young we learnt martial arts. How to defend myself will never be forgotten. My big brother also taught me to have a weapon by the front door (I have a home made wooden sword) incase someone tries to muscle their way in and I also have nosey neibours so if something happens all I need to do is scream and yell and they come running.
oh and how does a "lay exorcism" work? I might try it! :-X
This! How weird to meet someone else with a Boken by the front door. :)
I had the highest gate that is allowed by law installed to prevent anyone getting round the back of my property (which is oddly where my front door is). I *hope* it's enough to deter any would-be intruders.
I'm feel pretty safe where I'm at . I live right across the street from a major university in an apartment building with all students who come and go all hours. It's right on the main st. of a suburban downtown area. We have the city police and the campus police patrolling 24/7 . I feel safe because students are all over the place and if something happens we have police boxes to report mischievous . When I lived in a different apartment I had a 100 pound Belgium German Shepherd . Then when my buddy passed I move to my present building.
I live on the fourth floor of a building that needs a keycard to get in, so I feel relatviely safe indoors despite living in the city. If somebody knocks on my door I don't answer, which has happened twice in three years.. It was always somebody knocking on the wrong door.
When I go out, esp at night, that's a different story. I rarely feel safe unless I have somebody with me or there are lots of people nearby.
It's been said before but learning a martial art is a great way to stay safe. Especially something like Krav Maga which focuses on self-defence and counter attacks.
Quote from: DanielleA on January 01, 2015, 06:56:30 AM
...My big brother also taught me to have a weapon by the front door (I have a home made wooden sword) incase someone tries to muscle their way in...
Ha! I too have a wooden sword. I have a Kendo bokken wooden sword, it is a very hard wood which I'm very sure can break bone. I have not tested it yet on a moving target lol ;D
I also live alone but I feel safe. I am on the 5th floor of an apartment in chinatown. My building has cameras which I can check on my TV if someone tries to buzz in. There is also a police station 5 blocks away. But I think in general Canada is LGBT friendly.
At the end of the day, I really don't think it's about this weapon or that security system as much as just being aware of your surroundings and having a plan for when something goes wrong. Find a level you're comfortable with for deadbolts/chains/cameras/bars/weapons/alarms, and know how you'll use it when things go pear-shaped. Murphy being Murphy, it will go pear-shaped at 3 AM when you're sick and stoned on Nyquil, so don't expect to improvise well. Something you can do without relying on little muscles like fingers is a bonus due to the "fight or flight" response. Personally, my plan of action is aimed at making sure that myself, my wife, and my pets are still alive and well when the police show up, and I'm not on Susan's because I wanted to be Rambo.
I live alone and have never given any thought to my safety other than choosing an area with a relatively low crime rate and following my pre transition safety plan; simple things like making sure the door is locked and looking through the peephole before opening the door. The peephole is so absurdly high in my current apartment it is not of much use. I'm 5'7' and have to stand on my toes to look through it. Thanks to an involuntary hospitalization I am prohibited by law from owning or possessing a firearm for the next four and a half years. If someone does get in it's just me and my wits.
1. Have a peep hole on your front door and an intercom so you can see and talk to whoever is knocking.
2. Have deadbolts on all of your exterior doors.
3. If you can afford it, get an alarm system that has panic buttons.
4. Have a safe room where you will go if an intruder does get into your home. This room should have a secure door and a telephone.
5. Always ask to see ID of any officials or utility people coming to the door (preferably with your door chain secured.
6. Dog? Most bad guys are more afraid of dogs than they are of guns.
When I am walking to the parking lot I try to walk in well lit areas and in the middle of the alley or parking lot. I can remotely unlock my car and the interior light comes on. It is good to quickly look into your car to make sure that no one is in it. Once in your car, lock the doors right away and get on your way - no dawdling. Sometimes if I felt particularly nervous I have called a friend on the cell and talked with them until I was safe in my car, or home if walking. After I was raped, I decided to buy a stun gun. I think it would scare most people away, unless they had a gun. Above all, stay alert and aware of your surroundings.
I'm guessing this is a city residence type question, but for myself, I feel fortuneate. I live in the woods, it is always very dark and I am quite comfortable being here. The intruder would be the one with an uncertain future. Dani
Always have a bunch of keys handy,a ready made knuckleduster and be prepared to use them.Be prepared to fight dirty fingers in eyes,up nostrils,bite soft tissue,bend fingers back,scratch(great way to get DNA from them)pull ears and hair,kick in the balls,stamp on head,chest etc,kick when they're down.Learn to put your weight behind a punch and punch in a vertical line from the forehead down,a punch to the front of the throat or Adam's apple while hard to do will take them down,a punch in the solar plexus is a good stopper also.If you can grip the sides of the throat by the windpipe and squeeze at arm's length( a good shake also works when doing this).The pain from a broken or dislocated knee will be a good stopper so kick the knee cap(remember the scene in Roadhouse where Sam Elliott takes out a goon).Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6
I don't have and never will have a gun here (Aussie) but the rules around guns are something like this, according to people I know that do have... Guns to be locked away with firing mechanism's disabled, ammunition must be kept way from them again in a locked safe or cabinet...
Personally to date, like Sarah I have managed to talk my way out of trouble, in the future, not sure how I would progress... It does concern me slightly as I may well be out on my own at some point this year, unless things go better than I could ever imagine...
L Katy :-*
Quote from: katrinaw on January 26, 2015, 04:44:18 AM
I don't have and never will have a gun here (Aussie) but the rules around guns are something like this, according to people I know that do have... Guns to be locked away with firing mechanism's disabled, ammunition must be kept way from them again in a locked safe or cabinet...
When I was a kid I remember my grandfather in the town of Armidale had a shotgun and ammo hanging up in the closet of the room that I used to sleep in!!
I was going to say have emergency services on your speed dial, then rembered I have had the fire brigade twice for my microwaves catching fire and the police to arrest my mop.
I think they know me :embarrassed:
Quote from: Ms Grace on January 26, 2015, 04:54:35 AM
When I was a kid I remember my grandfather in the town of Armidale had a shotgun and ammo hanging up in the closet of the room that I used to sleep in!!
Yikes....
That was the 1970s, and of course they did things differently in the country!
Quote from: Ms Grace on January 26, 2015, 05:51:39 AM
That was the 1970s, and of course they did things differently in the country!
Figured country folk... Snakes etc... And not the city type ::)
L Katy
well, start with lighting for after dark, motion sensor is good. add in the standard and dead bolt door locks. windows left ope a crach should also be locked to prevent a full opening. screw a nice stick into the track. you can close it, but it only opens a few inches.
then it gets into prefferences.
mine, I prefer dogs. 2 help guard my home.Bella is 100 pounds and very protective, Annie is 40 pounds and a barker and howler. they hear better, and see well in the dark. they sleep in the bedroom. a dog isnt no good in a crate or cage out back of the barn.
Fire arms. CC permit, if im dressed gun is on hip. relaxing, gun is on coffee table next to me. 24/7/365... and a side by each shotgun next to the bed. Flash lights all over the house, look for the 3 function, high, low, & strobe. expect to pay a bit more, but the more "lumes" the better. 200 minamun lumes, its amazingly bright on high power.
i have a tazer also, hooked on the bed frame. 14 foot rerach with the darts, or hand held, stick it on their neck. true tazer brand has both capabilities in one unit.
home is also set up on the 'three step' defense plan. @ every 3 steps, there is something to hit someone with, throw something at them, or stand and fight with.
precautions, know your home in the dark. count steps, distances, etc.
phone is always on and handy.
signs on the doors.
" Beware of Dog"
"if you enter this home unlawfully, you WILL be SHOT"
" WE dont call 911"
American Flag hangs out front next to the confederate flag.
A pair of size 13 old work boots sets outside the front door.
I took and taught Tae Kwon Do for 16 years, but honestly, dont want to fight no man. i would rather shoot first.
yep, i sleep good at night.
when i was very broke, I lived for a year in an apartment building with a delightful schizophrenic man who didnt take his medicine on the same landing. google living with a schizophrenic neighbour to get a feel for it, it was tectbook but no less terrifying because of it. 9 months of pushing a chest of drawers accross my door after he decided i was a threat. very very scary. eventually he threatened the landlord with a butcher knife and the police took him away. compared to that anything else seems fine lol!