1: Who am I
2: My Past
3: My fears
4: What I am doing now
5: My plan
1: Who am I? I am a M2f, I am from southern Oregon USA. I am a combat veteran of the USMC, I suppose the girl I am is half tomboy half girly girl its all really confusing.
2: My past. I've always known about my transgender identity I've just recently come to terms with who I am though. So after bottling it up long enough and trying boys stuff for years that I wasn't into sports the marine corps infantry etc... I've finally did research online and found this site among others. I don't know what to say about the past its the past.
3. My fears. My fears I guess are the same as every trans person will I pass, feel complete, accepted etc... Accepted is a big one to me but in the eyes of god. I'm not real religious because i feel man bends and twists words to there will. I think about acceptance and people say god doesn't make mistakes etc... Then i think about down syndrome and all the other poor people with problems that aren't there fault and i feel like transition isn't so wrong. Well i guess that's been my biggest fear what am I, is it so wrong am I making it up does it really exist or do i just want it to for some perverted reason. Well i am confident enough that things will work out, and i am committed to leaping forward on this journey.
4. What am I doing now. It feels like i am wasting time. I have it sort of planned out but i am not good at planning its not natural to me, i am more easy going and unpredictable. My current plans are are minor first steps i plan on working out a laser and electrolysis routine first in my May my dental healthcare wait list for braces ends and i would like to get my teeth straightened i don't wanna be the girl with ugly teeth lol. I be been getting into fitness for women and have a 5 day a week leg, ab, but and thigh burning hellish routine down already. My plan i guess is to take baby steps then see an endocologist and move forward. I would like to transfer to the Portland area I don't think I will be tolerated well in southern Oregon so that's another thought or step.
Lastly I just want to say hi to everyone on here :)
Hi Billie,
A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.
There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.
Good to see your working on your doubts and fears. The two major road blocks to any form of change. The reality of fear is the fear of suffering, or whatever it is, is far great than the suffering itself. Once you understand that, the rest is easy.
You're off to a good start, keep up the great job you're doing.
Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine
Hi Billie and welcome to Susan's.
:)
Hi, Billie, welcome to Susan's. Everything will come together for you. Plus so many on here can guide you along on any questions you may have.
Hi Billie :icon_wave:
Welcome to Susan's :) Glad to have you here, join on in the fun
Here's some quick links to help you along
Please be sure to review
- Site Terms of Service and rules to live by (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
- Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
- Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
- Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
- Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
Hugs
V M
Hi ladies, thank you for listening to my dumb rant. Thanks for welcoming me I am super stocked about tho site its I don't know just amazing:)
Hi Billie,
Thank YOU for trusting us to share your thought, feelings, doubts and fears. Nothing dumb about that. It only becomes dumb when you don't. Big step you've taken.
The exciting thing about this is, once you've been honest enough with yourself to realise those doubts and fears, brought them into the light, they will by process disappear forever. Leaving you to become a genuinely authentic, real person. OMG. I can't wait to see what your future holds. Just steer clear of verbally bashing yourself up, there's a whole world out there trying to do it for you. Don't let them; it really annoys the hell out of them.
Huggs
Catherine