I rally do not know what to do , me and my gf was talking and she was saying that she is worried that if I go theou with my transfermation, when I'm female that we wont be happy together because of the changes,
She said that she used to look forward to me being female but now she fallen in love with the male side of me (body) and she is also indien and her lifestyle would be over us and we would have to lie about are life.
I want to be me but I also don't want to loose her
I Duno what to do
I won't tell you what to do...
BUT, giving up what you truly need and want to make a significant other happy is NOT a recipe for your own happiness. It's tough. I'm going through something similar with my wife. Good luck.
Perhaps she is still not sure, (and as I understand it) you are still pre-HRT. Given enough time she may come round to accepting you as you are. The changes from HRT are quite gradual, so she would have plenty of time to adjust to them.
When I first told my SO I was trans and that I transitioning, she was very much against what I was doing and wanted me to de-transition. Over time she has come to accept that is something I NEED to do and have been putting off doing for too long.
If your girlfriend cannot accept you as the same person regardless of your gender presentation and only wants the one aspect of your body that is causing you the dysphoria, and yet you need to transition, then sadly your relationship is doomed.
At the end of the day if you truly are trans and know that you need to transition, then as selfish as it may sound unfortunately your own needs have to take priority over what anyone else wants.
There's a recent thread about putting off transition, so I suggest you read that if you think you can forgo it and draw your own conclusions from the discussion within that thread. https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180992.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180992.0.html)
No... if you truely love someone... you will love them in any form.
I think.... at least.
I do not want to assume about you private life and I do not want to offend you.
It depends on the extent of transition. If you have GCS then yes you will not have the equipment she wants. However, on hrt you can still have an erection. Even after an orch an erection is possible. I use Cialis and need foreplay but erections can be maintained through sex. YMMV.
I wouldn't really count on erections though. I can't have penetrative sex now, and I'm only a month in on full transition HRT.
I know a man who once love me for who I am... not what I am. Its painful this life.
I did not, for many reasons, follow my transgender drive, and the longer it is left the harder it becomes.
Once on HRT you change, if you choose to go down that path, after anything from a few months to a year, physically and from a sexual perspective irreversibly.
I agree with wild flower in principle, but in the real world its not as simple as that. If your GF is very heterosexual, then she may drift, unless you and here get into a looser relationship.
I can't give you any real advice, except, if you were her how would you react?
It takes a very strong relationship to withstand full transition, however, having said that following girls in this forum I am comforted that the stay together rate is higher than I imagined.
L Katy :-*
Women might love their girlfriends but if they're hetro they probably don't want to sleep with them. The thing to keep in mind is that some people are wired hetrosexual and if their partner transitions from an opposite gender to their own gender then staying with that partner in a sexual way would effectively make them homosexual. Just as we wouldn't want our partner to deny us the right to transition how can we expect our partners to suddenly flip their sexual orientation to suit us? Some partners can, many cannot.
im going to carry on as i am and hope that things improve and her opinion change after all she is attached to my male equipment because she had that and not the other and because i have it now even i will miss them feelings and options i have but we can make new experiences there are plenty of toys on the market to sute us,if she loves me for who i am then my body shouldn't matter as much
the family side of thing as them being muslim and all we will just have to deal with as we are now
Quote from: Wild Flower on January 07, 2015, 05:56:39 PM
No... if you truely love someone... you will love them in any form.
This I believe, but there are many forms of love. Love is not always enough to maintain a happy romantic or "life partner" relationship. It is quite possible to love someone for who they are but not to be able to be happy with them.
It's difficult, but each of you has needs and a relationship can only survive if both sides can be happy making certain sacrifices for the sake of being together. This is true of every relationship to some degree. I hope you two can find a solution that satisfies both of your needs... it can be done, but it's not often easy.