I come to a realization that this man love me for who I am on the inside and not for my exterior self. Before he left me he seem he was about to cry and he kept repeating, "this will be the last youll ever see of me.... in your whole life..." He mention I should take of pic him before he goes, spent an hour with me, and deep down I think he loved me.... I only knew him since Nov. I know hes gone now....
I feel like we did have a love, but Im carrying this cross likes its a secret. I think only two people really know... and when I left work today my boss called me by his title. I know my boss wife thinks we had something because when she walk into the office she walked out... like to give privacy.
I dont really feel like life is worth living after having a taste of that.... I hated my life till then. Still do.
I cant be a guy in life. I know that no one knows me otherwise..... and whats sadded... I think he love me as a guy (although i know hes not gay.)....
I dont know... i was strong until everywhere i go I think of him. He wants to continue to stay in contact but knowing i love him... i cant. Itll just cause needless pain. I can never replace him......
I would try to keep in touch. Maybe he has missed you?
I love the wrong person sometimes. But I figure, they have good things about them, so we might as well be friends ...
Quote from: SarahBoo on January 08, 2015, 03:16:21 AM
I would try to keep in touch. Maybe he has missed you?
I love the wrong person sometimes. But I figure, they have good things about them, so we might as well be friends ...
No... well maybe a long time from now...but I was obsess when he was here.... now I feel like I loss my spouse.
I feel like a widow.
Talking to him wont end this.... he has a wife..... I need to let him go.
And these Titanics clips on youtube isnt helping.... I had a star cross lover relationship with him.
Im over it now... i no longer feel like crying.
I know he loved me.... which is the most painful thing in the world.
I am not beautiful... attractive.. or good looking even. He was handsome...
It makes me wonder.... if I became a woman.... what kind of men will love me if I was a beautiful woman.... if he can love me for who I am alone...... it kills me inside. If I was a woman....
As a man... i look kind blah.
......... i know i cant let this life pass me by as a man.....