Somebody I've known for a year and have lived with said to me today "it's a shame because the world needs more strong women" in relation to me transitioning to be male. I said that I'd still be a feminist, she went on to talk about how as a kid she really disagreed with gender roles.
I've been misgendered by her a lot and she got upset when I brought it up in a house meeting, despite me explaining to her a few times that I didn't take female pronouns. It has gotten better in that sense, but I just don't think I can live here any more. I know however, that she's older than me and not had any experience before with transgendered people... However, she has had plenty of time to learn.
I don't think I can live here any more, as I feel like me making changes to my own life to be happier is being an inconvenience for her...
But I don't know if I'm being too sensitive and over the top as well.
Would you feel uncomfortable?
That isn't being oversensitive. It is them being ignorant.
Do not blame the people who struggle with the change, but do blame people for them taking to long to change. I think it depends on how much it bothers someone as of how quickly they changed. I even met a transphobic person but when I came out and asked him to call me by my new name, he did so instantly. He didn't took me seriously and was joking about it, but on that moment he changed my name and never made a mistake anymore. While as for my family who struggle with it they still struggle after two years.
Friends who it didn't matter it took a few months. People who it did bother, even if slightly, they still pronounce incorrectly.
Just how it is. And older people have a harder time with it.
But all with all, in my opinion someone whom you only have known for a year has no excuse for it taking so long. Only thing I would advice you to do differently is to talk to her personally. Not in a meeting. It is personal. For you, and seems to be for her also. So keep it personal and try to solve it with her.
It is a valid reason wanting to move though .. my main reason I am moving out really soon is because my family misgenders me, everyday, every hour, every minute. All they bothered to do is calling me by my temporary androgynous name. It makes you annoyed and your house should be to relax, come at ease. Not to feel stressed and feel as if you are walking on your toes.
We're advertising a room here too... One person applying is trans and I dunno if I should warn them.
Do they know, you know they are trans? If not I wouldn't warn them. If so.. I would personally contact the person about it if it bothers you.
Your housemate probably does not misgender you to hurt you. But by trowing it in the group you put her in an unwanted conflict which just isn't nice > _ <.
Yeah, the person applying is openly trans.
I tried to challenge her (house mate), but she talked over me (she does that a lot). So it's hard... She gets upset if challenged and upset very easily. I'm asking around for a new place tho.
Peacebone, most cis people don't understand the difference between our gender identity, which is wired into our brains, and gender presentation/roles/expression, which is a social choice people make. They don't notice their own gender identities, so to them gender IS presentation/roles/expression, and they assume that's why we transition. They don't understand that our brains have been wired with the NEED to be our identified gender without regard to whatever presentation/role/expression we choose.
Yes, maybe the world does need more strong women, but you can't and will never be able to fill that role, because you simply aren't a woman. Your housemate needs to understand that.
I've tried to educate her and we've known each other and lived together for a year. She knows accepting being trans has been difficult for me and I don't have any choice but to transition. She still refers to an old housemate as the name she was before, like there were two different people despite being challenged... This person came out months ago. I don't see why people can't make an effort if they call somebody "friend".