Hey all,
Just wondering since I already came out to everyone and they are accepting and loving if I should dress in Girl mode in front of them yet?
I am pre-everything still and they have only seen pics of me dressed.
We will be having a Family and Friends get together on Feb 20th at my House and I am debating it. Some people say it's better to not dress until on HRT and/or Fulltime starts.
I don't know.
Any advice?
Thanks all.
Jess
I couldn't wait and threw all caution to the wind. Now I look back at pictures from two years ago and think I must have been nuts, but then what's new? I had nothing but a conviction to be out and tell the truth. My older pics show a bad beard shadow, hair all over my arms and like you now, was pre everything. It didn't really matter. Our true friends and loving family will still be there with and for us.
You look great, clearly have a super smile and have already shared the truth with people who accept you. I imagine they are anxious to see changes and be able to digest more of what your future together will be like. We don't have to go over the top with glamour and gloss but a gathering like this may be a real confidence boost and an opportunity for friends and family to demonstrate they support you. Some people in my circle wanted to be first to know and first to see the new me. It is your tune to call and I just hope you arrive at a place where you are comfortable.
I think it depends on what type of person you are. If you're the type to jump directly into a cold pool or the ocean, or rip bandaids off at once, it might be better to simply go full-time and not look back. If you like to slowly wade into the shallows and want to hit anyone that splashes you while you are easing in, you might feel more comfortable taking smaller steps. But as long as you can maintain the pretty confident smile you have in your avatar's picture, I'm sure you'll be fine. People who know you and care about you tend to react better to major changes when you are confident and happy.
I don't recommend easing into things as I did, although I would have been a complete neurotic mess if I had tried to do it the other way.
I also couldn't wait to start dressing lady like. But I did things gradually slowly working my way up to wearing almost only skirts when I go out in public. I'm not even close to full time because my face doesn't look even remotely female even with makeup. Plus I still live at home with my parents and they would likely disown me. They are slowly excepting of my manner of dress. They don't even know that I'm on hormones. Only my close friends and select others know. I do have to say you look great already even without hormones. Overall, I would recommend doing things slowly, gradually adding things to your wardrobe, look, and mannerism set until you are who you would like to be.
I did exactly that. I invited the whole family around and didn't tell them, when they walked through the door they met Cindy.
I just said, if you can accept me please stay, if you cannot, then leave.
They all stayed and we had a great night - except the guys wanted to watch the footy game on TV! :laugh:
I just started dressing. And naturally do in front of family.. although if i'm not going to be out in public I don't bother with shaving.. I live next door to my parents so I usually see them after work, when I'm made up which I feel comfortable doing.
I say you should just do it! I doubt you'll regret it! and the sooner the better, usually! Helps not prolong the adjustment period! <3
maybe im odd, who knows....
years before i started transitioning, i was wearing panties. as time passed, i would buy my clothing from the ladies section in the stores.
basic jeans, tees, etc, became the norm. its prudent to say, i never have been a 'girly girl" and dresses, lace, heels, have never been my style.
My style was more 'country western' if that helps paint a picture.
if i had to give advise on the subject, my opinion would err on the side of caution.
sure, wear female attire, but be conservative. makeup early on the 'less is more' was my rule. dresses and skirts were a no no around family, as was anything overtly feminine and flashy. I stayed with jeans, a blouse, boots or flats over 6 inch sequined heels, and natural color make up used spareingly.
I wasnt out to " shock them into submission".
Personaly, I beleived my family need to be eased into the notion, that I was Lisa, the girl. dressing like I was just " in their face" would have been a diesaster in my family.
Thank you all for the wonderful and thoughtful replies.
I kinda asked my sister what she thought of me being in girl mode when she came up? (She was the most enthusiastic about me coming out)
She said I should get dolled up. ;D
I don't want to go that far probably. Maybe something like my avatar but more casual around the house.
My wardrobe is small still.
Anyway..I am still thinking about it. It's still 3 weeks away. :)
I want to thank you all again for the great replies.
*hugs*
Jessika
I would highly recommend dressing as female for the get together. You seem to have little to lose at this point and it would be a great opportunity to show people who you really are. With that said, even supportive people often need an 'adjustment period' so it may be best to avoid anything too striking the first time.
Within a few days after coming out to my family, I pushed the men's shirts aside and they have not seen the light of day since then. It was so reaffirming to finally wear feminine shirts, and surprisingly, it even felt totally natural to me - much more so than dressing as a guy, that's for sure. I am still uneasy about the pants, though, especially the thought of wearing something that could 'out' me.
You will know when the "right" time is for you.
I Got to a point where i just couldn't take it anymore, and just just decided i'm going full time from now. And have been ever since. No excuses/no exceptions.
I was on HRT for about 4 months at that time.
Pre or post HRT, if you feel ready, then go ahead!
A party/dinner for family/friends is probably ok, but just dont get upset if a person responds negatively.
Mine was just me starting to present female, and i dealt with every situation as they arrised.
Good luck, and remember, it is YOUR life, and YOU have to live it.
I'd say by your avatar you have nothing to worry about plus they already know.
I came out to a friend a few weeks ago. He told me I should come to his house and chat about it. I finally did that yesterday. I went as me, since I had just gone to the supermarket. I really didn't want to but I figured ah screw it, I'm in the area and he knows so why not?
I was expecting shock but he really wasn't fazed. Just a smile and he said I looked good and if he didn't know me he wouldn't clock me as trans at all.
We talked and as it turned out one of his other friends has a coworker who is transitioning. He isn't taking it so well. They are power company linemen on a military base and its a kind of rough and tumble "swinging dicks" environment so one of them going all girl on them makes some uneasy.
Quote from: Jessika on January 23, 2015, 07:39:24 PM
Hey all,
Just wondering since I already came out to everyone and they are accepting and loving if I should dress in Girl mode in front of them yet?
I am pre-everything still and they have only seen pics of me dressed.
We will be having a Family and Friends get together on Feb 20th at my House and I am debating it. Some people say it's better to not dress until on HRT and/or Fulltime starts.
I don't know.
Any advice?
Thanks all.
Jess
Dress whenever the heck you feel like it. It's your body and it's a free country.
There is no requirement for HRT and some girls don't even get HRT or surgery.
Dressing is also therapeutic and a good diagnosis tool for your therapist. How you handle situations as you is a good gauge of your state of mind and what you need to work on.
Quote from: ImagineKate on January 25, 2015, 10:01:42 AM
I came out to a friend a few weeks ago. He told me I should come to his house and chat about it. I finally did that yesterday. I went as me, since I had just gone to the supermarket. I really didn't want to but I figured ah screw it, I'm in the area and he knows so why not?
I was expecting shock but he really wasn't fazed. Just a smile and he said I looked good and if he didn't know me he wouldn't clock me as trans at all.
We talked and as it turned out one of his other friends has a coworker who is transitioning. He isn't taking it so well. They are power company linemen on a military base and its a kind of rough and tumble "swinging dicks" environment so one of them going all girl on them makes some uneasy.
I think once they realize it isn't contagious, it might not be as big of a deal.
I didn't tell my family until I was less than a week from going full time so I didn't have any intervening time. I think dressing in girl mode would be a good idea if they know already and are accepting. The one thing I would say to you though is that people can get a bit confused if you subsequently present as male, and/or alternate your presentation. If they see you as female one time but male the next they may think you aren't serious or that it is some kind of kink or that you're not doing it anymore.
^^^^ This, there is no going back!
You certainly seem confident, your sister says yes, so go for it 8) However, I do agree with Grace's caution comment...
However take my comment with a pinch of salt, as I am not there yet... winding up to go with a bang approach when finances and all else is lined up ( have a lot to lose ) and need to be able to go it under my own steam...
L Katy
For me, after I had told everyone at least a couple times when people were still getting used to it I let them know that I was planning to dress female at the next time we met, just to avoid surprises. It gets much easier after the first couple steps.