When I'm asleep at night and have dreams, in the dreams I am male, always. This has happened my whole life.
I am FtM and apparently my subconscious has known this long before I actively started identifying as trans. In fact I use this as one of my arguments when explaining being trans to others.
So, just wanted to know if this is something unique to me or if anyone else has experienced this.
Unofficial poll, when you dream at night, what gender are you?
I am MtF and I have been female only in my dreams since at least age 7 (I am 49 now). :)
A young vibrant 20 something female.
Oh you said dream not a wish. Lol.
Seriously just a normal past prime female.
When I was 12, I had dreams where my aunt forces me to wear girls' clothes, and assures me that no one else will know and that there are no other male clothes, I secretly like it. It's funny because as soon as I put on girls' clothing, my body would magically change into a girl's body and it felt right to me. I also had dreams where only my top half was female.
Two weeks ago i had a dream where i am my male self, and came out to my mother, and she was really cool about it. It was great until the dream ended, and I know that my mom would never be that cool in real life.
This one time, i was a fully grown woman around 30 years old i guess, walking around a house as everyone comments about how good I look or how much i have changed or something, I knew that I was a man in the past too.
Most of my dreams are in first person though, I can't really tell.
I am a complex and fluid representation of myself and my gender depending on the dream and any given development. My dreams are so utterly weird most of the time I pay no attention to their deeper meaning. I mean I once dreamed Abe Lincoln had been brought back to life via an oil painting and was really good at throwing hoola hoops. Serioulsy, WTF?!? I dare Freud to analyse that one!!
Honestly... I don't think it's ever come up in my dreams. Like it didn't even matter, there.
I am MTF and I am Female in my dreams.
I hadn't realised this until a few months ago, but I've always been male in my dreams. Like you, it definitely seems my subconscious knew before me!
For the overwhelming majority of my life my dreams have been mostly third person or absolutly no sense. These days an even split between watching a movie, being male and being female
In most dreams, gender isn't an issue. I'm just "me."
That's funny that you asked this question though, because just last night I had a dream where my trans status did become an issue. I was visiting the house of two brothers I knew as a kid. We lived in a pretty redneck town, but this was further exaggerated in the dream. Bumpy, dirt roads and houses with wooden foundations, raised off the ground. I was my adult, MTF self, and they were still kids. Time was frozen, as it typically is in a memory.
I walked into there house, and there was a macho, mustachioed man named Vulvan -- like a portamento of Vulcan and vulva. He said something like, "Well don't you feel pretty being a little girl?" I told him that I was a grown woman. He then informed me of his intention to stab me. I told him I didn't want to fight, and that I'd just leave. I left the house and got in my car, fearing that any second I could be stabbed to death. I turned the ignition, but the car wouldn't start. I told myself this wasn't a horror movie, and the car started.
So to make a long explanation short, I'm usually MTF in a dream.
Mostly gender does not come up in my dreams. I'm just "me". I have, however, had dreams since I was a kid where I was distinctly female or wearing a pretty dress and had long hair. I had a strange dream when I was 12 where I was chasing a pair of breasts (my breasts!) down the street, up trees, in and out of swimming pools and all over, but I could never catch them no matter how hard I tried. It was just after they had removed vestigial "girl parts" from a testicle that had swollen to the size of a tangerine. (Common with DES casualties.) I guess I knew subconsiously that male puberty was about to hit me, and I didn't like that idea one bit.
As a teen and adult, I always looked forward to being a girl in my dreams, and I never wanted to wake up when I had one of them.
These days I'm either female or aware of being MTF, as last night I had a dream that I ran out of E and my endo had died, sending me into a panic.
As I have changed in transition so have my dreams. In the past my dreams were essentially genderless except if sexuality was part of the theme and then, well TMI maybe, but let's say I was the more passive bottom one. Now i am clearly a girl and my dreams can reflect the struggles we have Last night I was upset in my dreams that a man coming on to me discovered some stubble and I was rejected. Oh boo hoo, just a bad dream but IRL that stubble really does bug me so I guess my dreams are helping me work it out.
My dream self has actually adjusted over the years to mostly stay in line with whatever my current external self was.
When I was a kid, I was always a boy in my dreams. (Or at least I was myself, which at the time was a self that honestly wasn't even very aware of gender, I just went with what other people told me.)
As a teenager, when I started experiencing dysphoria, I was still mostly male in my dreams, but started having a lot of dreams where I was female. (And I LOVED those dreams so much... every single time I had one of them, it made me feel SO good. And likewise I started having "old man" dreams where in the dream I'd be a middle-aged guy, hair falling out, more masculine face, and I would FLIP THE F*** OUT when that happened.)
When I started transition, the self in my dreams became somewhere in the middle... an effeminate in-transition person who was often trying to pass as female but worried about not actually doing a good job at it.
And now post-transition, I'm mostly female in my dreams. The one exception is when I'm having dreams about my past, namely ones involving my ex-girlfriend, I'm often male.
I guess my dreams tend to be a reflection of whatever is going through my head currently, and however I currently view myself.
FYI: I'm IS.
In my dreams, I've never been myself. Nor have I been male or female. Even the people, and places I visit are not part of my life in any way.
Sometimes when I dream, I wonder around a school. Each dream is a different school, but mostly I don't see others in the dream, but sometimes I do.
My dreams are more like watching a movie, or making an observation. Even after I started on ert, I had no changes to my dreams.
Sometimes, it bugs me, but mostly I don't even think about it.
When it does come up in my dreams, I've found that when I'm having a nightmare I'm in a female body. When I'm having a good/regular dream I'm male. Go figure. :)
From as young I can remember I've had dreams where I got to go to school dressed like a girl. Like someone else said when I put the clothes on I became a girl. Also like others I had some where it was a punishment thing. I'd dream I'd done something bad at schooland for punishment they made me a girl but I secretly loved it. I had dreams where I'd look down at my body and physically see it change from male to female. Then as a teenager I started having these dreams where all that happens is I'm standing in front of a mirror and looking at my reflection and I see a girl. I have that dream a lot. Then there's anytime I have a sexual dream I'm always a woman having sex with a man. That sucks. I think I could put this whole thing behind me if it wasn't for the dreams. I mean I imagine waking up next to a wife in the future and with a family after having a dream like that and I think I'd just top myself with shame.
But equally I have many dreams where I'm just me as I am today.
Genderless and female. Sometimes male but not really anymore. I have had a few trans dreams, one where I was on the operating table ready for SRS... Then I asked if I could go and stand up and pee one last time, lol.
I'm just me in my dreams....usually I'm not thinking about gender in my dreams.
Mostly male. Sometimes, especially recently after knowing about trans*, and also during my carefree-er early pre-teens phase, female.
During my last few teenage years, I think, I experienced more-than-few "hot" dreams which most of them started with the realization that I was lucid dreaming, and me manifesting the individual persons that I wanted to "get hot" with. Yeah -_-. And I was male and it didn't bother me at all that I was "having fun" as a male.
I'm confused. I think I might be gender-fluid (or it's just my dysphoria that is fluid if that makes sense) and that being trans might just be a phase... in a cycle, because if it is a phase then it would mean that I had moved in/out of it AT LEAST 4 times and will most probably face it again in the future I think if my dysphoria ever goes away again. (not that I'm sure though if it really did ever go away)
Recently, I have either had an entirely male body or have been in the early stages of transition on HRT. Some of them have been about coming out, getting electrolysis, finding out a cousin is trans (not in real life). Many of the dreams which I remember, that seem unrelated to transition, are extremely bizarre.
This is an amazing question!
Possible TW:
Usually I am not "me" at all. I am watching things third person or I am watching events through a singular character. If I am "me", my gender is only apparent if something horrible is happening to me. Usually if I am female (I am FTM) the dreams are about sexual abuse...If I am me, but I am male, these dreams are always riddled with symbolism and frustration. Like not being able to go to the bathroom without people bothering me. Not being able to achieve erection or masturbate.
I don't always see myself in my dreams. The times I do I'm usually male and older.
Usually third person for me as well, but in my favorites I am male. I think the dreams where my body is male are the ones where I will allow myself to inhabit it, instead of watching from afar.
I believe mine have been gender less also. But my dreams always seem abstract. I'm MTF and only as of a month ago decided I had the confidence to go through with the change and started hormones. I do recall dreams where I've had breasts and even have been pregnant a few times in my dreams. I've never quite understood these types of dreams, but I like them :)
Recently, two of my dreams centered around me trying to come out to my mom.
last night, I was just me (male) arguing with an old friend of mine, nothing special about it.
I do not think dreams mean anything to be honest.
When you are the other gender in your dreams, are you yourself? or are you a celebrity or friend you'd love to look like? for example, In my dreams I was a female version of myself, my face was that of a younger me (age 16), but my body and hair were not mine (feminine). I had this dream when I was 21 (23 now), and I have only had dreams like these 2 or 3 times.
I really hadn't ever noticed gender in my dreams, most of my dreams were actually first-person but totally genderless, but recently I'm having more dreams that center around me being FTM.
I remember having a very vivid dream when I was a teenager where I would be standing naked, then float into the air and transform into a woman, my hair growing long and my body getting curvier, with bra and panties floating out of the ether and attaching themselves to me. I remember having that dream a few times. Now my dreams are very much third person, although I have noticed if I become lucid at all I always change what I am wearing into a dress lol.
Interesting question! I've had dreams all over the spectrum...Most of the time I would say I'm genderless/a non-participant observer of the events in my dreams. However I've also had dreams where I'm definitely male or definitely female. When I'm female in my dreams it's more likely to be a bad dream (nightmares about getting pursued or raped) although I haven't had one of those in a while...when I'm male in my dreams it's more likely to be a good dream, or a dream that feels like it has an important message.
I've been having dreams recently where I have a full beard in my dream and I'm like 'finally!' and then I wake up and I'm bummed out. Lol
I either do not remember my dreams, or when I do, they are usually in third person.
However, I have sometimes had first-person dreams in the past in some of which I was male and in others I was female. Didn't really see a pattern to them earlier, but I don't ever recall being disturbed by being female in my dreams.
Recently though, I have started having more dreams in which I am either female or very clearly aware of my gender dysphoria.
I believe some medication I am on makes my dreams very vivid. Last night I dreamed I was misgendered rather nastily. I was very angry.
--Jay
Sometimes I'm male and sometimes im female, but whenever I dream I am female I always try and cut my hair short and it just keeps growing back out again, and sometimes I go in for top surgery but whenever im out of the hospital the breasts just grows back out again and keep doing that no matter how many times i have surgery. And also I dreamt my beard fell out and testosterone didn't work on me anymore. Hate those dreams they are horrible. But when I have nice dreams im totally male and with all the working parts and so on
I find that I don't dream very often (and when I do, gender seldom enters the picture -- like others in the thread have reported, I seem to sort of orient my dreams around other people and events).
I have noticed, though, that since I started transition, I've started to appear in my own dreams more frequently.
I don't remember from when I was younger, but in all my recent dreams I've either been male or non-gender (whatever you wanna call it).
I am sometimes male, sometimes female. Most of the time I'm agender.
In fact the only time I can tell whether I'm M or F is when my genitalia are involved. Sometimes I have male genitalia, sometimes female.
I'd like to be able to be both. :(
Interestingly my dreams evolve with reality. I always see things in 3rd person but I know its me and know how I feel like its real. Pre I knew I was male but I was always seen wrong in my dreams and misgendered, ie exactly like real life. Once I started passing as male consistently (4 months on T) my dreams followed, I am now seen and pass as male in my dreams. Im aware of the fact I havent had surgery yet so when urinals situations appear in my dreams (and it has several times now) Im aware of the fact I have to use an stp so Im either cautious of others around me as I am in reality as I dont want anyone to see it, or I realise I dont have it with me and cant go lol. Just interesting to me that it completely follows reality and stays up to date with whats really happening. So yeah always been male but a misgendered male seen as female, now still male but perceived as such and aware of the pre surgery status. Basically same as in reality is how I am in my dreams
In most of my dreams lately I'm just a normal male. Early in transition I usually dreamed myself as a transman. I don't remember how my gender manifested in dreams before that.
When I dream I kinda have a genderfluid of gendercool persona. I am FtM, but I have never really dreamed as either gender. When I was a kid I do think I dreamt as female or as a tomboyish girl.
To be honest, I really can't tell. I think things may lean more towards male, as that's how I'm presently living, but I'm not sure, as gender usually isn't involved.
Mostly I seem to look like I normally do, which is rather female. But if anything is related to sex or going to the bathroom in my dream I am suddenly 'male' most of the time. Other times I am someone else entirely and don't seem to have a consistent 'look' or gender.
I to usually have dreams in third person or I don't remember them at all.
But if it is first person it kind of varies (I am FtM). Sometimes I don't know and a few times male. I haven't really had a dream where I was female in a long time. One of the reasons I suspected I was trans was because of one dream I had being fully male bodied (it was my first dream being male actually) and I liked the feeling.
It varies, sometimes I am male (I am biologically male), sometimes I am female. I have to say, I do prefer the dreams in which I am female. They seem much more pleasant to me. Dreams like these absolutely fascinate me. :)
I am faab. Most of the time, gender and sex are not part of the dreams I remember. But I can remember as early as 10 having dreams in a male body. Still happens today, of the dreams I'm aware of my body and remember, more are male than female, though not exclusively. This was something that I was thought was me being a freak and it's nice to know I'm not the only one.
I don't really have a lot of dreams that I can remember... But of the dreams I can remember I would say I am male 50 percent of the time and female 51 percent of the time :-)
For many years i hardly remembered any of my dreams, it´s a well known effect from daily cannabis use.
Since i stopped smoking the stuff i begin dreaming soon after hitting the pillow and remember it all in detail,
Hollywood productions pale in comparison, it´s usually riveting stuff and the special effects and plot twists, wow.
i am happy to say that in these dreams i am always a trans woman in female clothing and as i transition further
think it likely that i will be seeing myself more and more as a woman.
Nowadays I am transgender in my dream.
barbie~~
I identify as a male both in my dreams as well as IRL and despite having dysphoria it does not quite bother me, not as much as the buried feelings I am having for my crush does. She's appeared frequently in my dreams recently :(
As a child, I was always female in all of my dreams. Even back before I fully realized who I was... However the more modern dreams I have seem to predict the future, some being bleak and others being extremely positive... My biological sex is male so in those dreams I'd clearly still be biologically male, just my gender is female.
For most of my life, there was either no gender or female gender.Also no color (not b&w but just no color) hard to explain. In the last couple of years I have nightmares about being an obese male wandering around in public with only women's underwear on. Not a pleasant development.
It's tricky. Sometimes I'm Rachel, sometimes someone else and I'm not sure whether male or female, sometimes I'm a persona-less observer . . . I am never my old self. I'm seldom a male though on occasion that occurs.
One of my transition goals was to dream as Rachel and at about 3+ years that began to happen regularly.
Rachel
It changes... sometimes I'm a boy in my dreams, sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes I'm not even part of it and just observing, sometimes it changes mid-dream, and other times I'm a futanari (that's like... 100% girl but with a really big dick just above the pussy slit).
My inner voice is female though, always, and my self image of myself is female... it's really uncomfortable seeing myself in a mirror since it doesn't match how I perceive myself.
I'm not gendered in my dreams. I used to have long, elaborate, first person dreams, but I never had any sort of voice or gender identifying features. I was always treated androgynously by my fellow dream people. If there's any sort of sexual component, I am and always have been male.
These days, my dreams are weird and sensory. Flashes of noise and powerful smells (often formaldehyde), the anxious impetus to do something. Garbled or nonsense words. It's strange, but at least it's not dysphoria inducing.
Transgendered, as in life.
I wish I could have a dream as a male.