Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: April_TO on January 28, 2015, 08:21:03 PM

Title: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 28, 2015, 08:21:03 PM
Hi All,

Most recently I have been contemplating of getting a brow shaving procedure/hair line adjustment in the next 2 years or so. My friends don't think I need it. However, I always see something wrong about my face sigh...

Also, I have read in some of our FFS threads here at Susan's that it doesn't guarantee passibility. So in my head, why should I spend at least 30K for something that cannot guarantee results.

I know it all comes down to preference and also $$$. However, can a good fashion sense, average make up skill, voice training and mannerisms trump an FFS? Your input matters.

xoxo

April



Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Jade_404 on January 28, 2015, 08:27:34 PM
Carmenkate,

I agree with your friends. You look fabulous  ;D

If I were you I would wait a while before deciding.

-Jade
:-*
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: warlockmaker on January 28, 2015, 08:37:44 PM
Most people cannot really tell the facial difference when asked unless they are artists/photographer and work with faces. It depends on the brow and its difficult to tell from a frontal view, do you have a side view? But you look perfect from the frontal view.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: amber roskamp on January 28, 2015, 08:38:37 PM
U don't need it.  Your really pretty. I think voice training,  watching speech patterns, and mannerisms will go just as far.  Its really about what makes u happy though. Many women who don't need it get it,  but they look great afterwards. But it's a ton of money that you have to commit to it. Do what feels right to you, but I think you would be beautiful with our without it.  :)
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Sabrina on January 28, 2015, 08:40:57 PM
Personally, I don't think you need it. You look great already. I on the other hand, don't even look remotely female yet.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Jade_404 on January 28, 2015, 08:54:12 PM
Quote from: Sabrina on January 28, 2015, 08:40:57 PM
Personally, I don't think you need it. You look great already. I on the other hand, don't even look remotely female yet.
I, and the computer disagree Sabrina. Both of us rate you female from your avatar pic.  :-*

And Carmenkate, like Warlockmaker says, do you have a side view pic? I don't think it will matter much, you will still look great in it, but would help to see this "brow" thing you are talking about.  :P

-Jade
:-*
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: monica93304 on January 28, 2015, 09:05:40 PM
I'm of the opinion that you don't need it.  You're very pretty.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Jill F on January 28, 2015, 09:10:09 PM
Until a few months ago, I assumed I'd need some major work done.  The fact is that I am blending in just fine now without it.  It made me feel much better about myself knowing that my (cis) wife has a more prominent brow and adam's apple than I do, and she's unmistakeably female.

Having the right hormone levels for a prolonged amount of time, having no more visible beard shadow plus voice, mannerisms and attitude really do go a long way. 

My advice is to go as far as you can and wait for the HRT to work its full magic before going under the knife for any reason.   This includes breast augmentation. 

And yes, we are most definitely our own worst critics. 
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: antonia on January 28, 2015, 09:20:59 PM
Give the hormones some time, I was dead sure I'd need surgery but today I'm thinking perhaps not.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: judithlynn on January 28, 2015, 09:29:35 PM
I totally agree with what my good friend Jill says. Be Patient. You are already looking good and I don't think you need it.   You just need to give it time. Late last year I had a Breast Augmentation consult, but wisely after listening to advice from girlfriends and my Doctor, I decided to put it on hold as the HRT is still working. My breasts are forming well with rounded B Cups heading to C and although I would like D Cups ,ay get there myself anyway. My mother and other close Female relatives have all been Double D Cups
Judith
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 28, 2015, 09:32:56 PM
Thanks wonderful ladies, I am of the opinion that we are all beautiful and unique in our own way. Love you guys.

Heres my side view LOL I tried taking it without straining my neck muscle and my hands haha.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2Fy99KGTI.jpg&hash=e5b239ab307953dedd82021fa45942cecf5ff71d)

Big Hugs,

April
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 28, 2015, 09:37:47 PM
Babe, I should take my own advice that I once told my friend. We must give up the mental picture of how an ideal feminine face should look like so we can give ourselves a chance.

You are a beauty Sabrina xoxo

Quote from: Sabrina on January 28, 2015, 08:40:57 PM
Personally, I don't think you need it. You look great already. I on the other hand, don't even look remotely female yet.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Alana_Jane on January 28, 2015, 10:32:59 PM
April,

I don't think you need to have your brows shaved.  They're not even prominent.  You're pretty just the way you are, and only getting more so over the past month. 
Hugs,


-Alana
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Leila on January 29, 2015, 03:01:45 AM
April,

A few years ago before I started HRT I really thought I wanted FFS. I had read a post somewhere that said if you had the money for surgery that you should go for FFS first. However the more posts I read the more I realised that in the end it boiled down to personal circumstance and a lot of cases it wasn't necessarily mandatory to get FFS initially before HRT.

Not being exactly flush with cash I decided to wait and let HRT take its course. It's been over 15 months in my case and I've seen some dramatic and subtle changes to my face, changes before I thought I needed a surgeon's hand to fix. In all honesty this is one of those YMMV situations and in my case I was very lucky that HRT and a good hand of genetics has helped me so much.

Make up and grooming of eyebrows will help, as too will confidence, posture, a good voice and all the other things required to blend in or pass.

From your 45 degree side profile I'd say your brow bossing is slightly less prominent than that of mine, and I'd say I've seen a few Asian cis women with similar prominent brow bossing too so it isn't unheard of.

So if you have the time, patience, and means to save some cash; I'd say give the HRT 2 to 3 years to do its work and review how you look then; before deciding if you still really want anything done. If you decide you don't need it, then you'll have accrued a nice pot of cash to treat yourself to something really nice. :)
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: katrinaw on January 29, 2015, 06:32:36 AM
Hi carmenkate, No I don't think you need it... I wish my brow was as good  :'(  You look stunning  :-*

It is a lot of money, in my case, given age, and future ability to finance, it would definitely benefit me... but I think Adams apple, Voice, Laser/Electrolysis  would come first, then due to age it would be a facelift + brow line + Hard Sun Damage to nose...

However like you I do look very critically at my face, last week it was brow line, this week its the sun damage to my nose and the wrinkles (due to age and sun...) When that's done I'd be looking at other area's????
Isn't it these weaknesses that make us women  >:-) (Just throwing it out there ;))

L Katy  :-*
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: stephaniec on January 29, 2015, 06:42:32 AM
personally, I think you should spend the money on some beautiful dresses
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: mmmmm on January 29, 2015, 06:43:40 AM
It depends on what level of passability or blending do you want/need to achieve.. Are you happy with being passable in a way that most nice ladies that you would meet will gender you correctly, and politely use female pronouns? Or you maybe want to pass to the level that not only nice ladies, but also some men will see you as a woman? Or you want to blend in to the point where everybody will see you as a woman, when your make-up is perfect and hair really done? Or do you maybe need unclockable status, as everything less still makes you very uncomfortable in everyday life? Or do you maybe want to just go crazy one day and completely shave your head, and put on some husbands/boyfriends clothes, and go to the supermarket with your dog without any make-up, and have zero fear that anyone will see you as anything other than a crazy woman...

It really only matters what makes you and only you feel comfortable.

I for myself needed any single trace of androgynous gone from your face... For myself. Not for anyone else. Even though I didn't yet go crazy and shaved my head and went to the supermarket... I want to have that option for the future. Just in case. 
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: antonia on January 29, 2015, 06:49:35 AM
I like the going crazy in the supermarket option, don't think I've heard anyone put it quite that well :D

Quote from: mmmmm on January 29, 2015, 06:43:40 AM
It depends on what level of passability or blending do you want/need to achieve.. Are you happy with being passable in a way that most nice ladies that you would meet will gender you correctly, and politely use female pronouns? Or you maybe want to pass to the level that not only nice ladies, but also some men will see you as a woman? Or you want to blend in to the point where everybody will see you as a woman, when your make-up is perfect and hair really done? Or do you maybe need unclockable status, as everything less still makes you very uncomfortable in everyday life? Or do you maybe want to just go crazy one day and completely shave your head, and put on some husbands/boyfriends clothes, and go to the supermarket with your dog without any make-up, and have zero fear that anyone will see you as anything other than a crazy woman...

It really only matters what makes you and only you feel comfortable.

I for myself needed any single trace of androgynous gone from your face... For myself. Not for anyone else. Even though I didn't yet go crazy and shaved my head and went to the supermarket... I want to have that option for the future. Just in case.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: svaso on January 29, 2015, 08:26:44 AM
FFS is not necessary to have as far as others are concerned. Most people say I didn't need FFS, and I would agree with them. I had FFS only to improve the dysphoria I experienced when I looked in the mirror. I got by for a long long time without it.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: BunnyBee on January 29, 2015, 12:06:18 PM
I think ffs is rarely NEEDED, but it can be helpful even for feminine faces.  I wouldn't mind having a little less of a brow ridge for instance, though it isn't even that bad.  However, my frame of mind right now is that I won't have it.  I would for sure prioritize GCS and BA above it.  Those areas are far more troublesome to me atm.  Surgery is scary to me, FFS especially.

For you, Carmen, from your pics, I would say you fall into the not needing it camp, but if you feel strongly that it would help you, nobody should stop you.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Auroramarianna on January 29, 2015, 12:17:49 PM
I don't think you need FFS. You are already passable and pretty. But if there is one thing I would fix if I were in your place, and I feel awful for saying this cause nobody pointed it out, it's your nose. It's a bit large. But that's just if you really want it, because I don't think you need it. You look beautiful regardless. :)
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 29, 2015, 03:41:48 PM
You are so sweet. Thanks for the honest feedback - I was thinking of Rhinoplasty as well but it seems like the fat around my nose is getting lesser every time I check it.
However, as it is I think I am good :) I will prioritize BA first.

Quote from: Auroramarianna on January 29, 2015, 12:17:49 PM
I don't think you need FFS. You are already passable and pretty. But if there is one thing I would fix if I were in your place, and I feel awful for saying this cause nobody pointed it out, it's your nose. It's a bit large. But that's just if you really want it, because I don't think you need it. You look beautiful regardless. :)
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Joanne Feliz on January 30, 2015, 03:16:41 AM
If you contact a reputable surgeon that is an expert in FFS they will give a good professional opinion on what needs to be done.  In my case,  I have a very prominent forehead and brow and nose etc...the list goes on.  I would really need FFS to be able to pas unnoticed and even then maybe the results is not certain.

You look great, you would need to post side profile pictures as well as 45 degree one with your hair pulled back to get a good idea on whats needed.  But from your profile photo I think you look super.  I wish I looked like you.

From your photo I do see you have a prominent brow,  but as mentioned i do see a lot of females with similar.

The cost of FFS is 30000USD but that cost is likely for forehead/brow ridge bone contouring (which should provide you with a more feminine, smoother forehead) and all the other surgeries for a male that looks very masculine. In my case I wold also need an eyebrow lift.  Apparently that opens up the eyes give a more feminine appearance if you have deep set eyes.  Rhinoplasy to deuce the size and and provide a more feminine profile(which is concave apparently).  I also need Alarplasy to repair some trauma and crookedness to the nose.  Then this is chine surgery and implants to the chin, scalp advancement hairline surgery etc..etc...stuff you may not need.  The costs may be much less for you because your features are very feminine already.

As a guide I was quoted about 13000 for the forehead and ridge bone surgery or 400k bhart.  The rest is made up of the other procedures.

If and when I will get mine done I will have surgery in Thailand.

I think you look great but no harm in inquiring and making some changes if it makes you happy.  If it were me I would probably get the work done but at the end of the day is about how you feel.

Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Wild Flower on January 30, 2015, 03:59:12 AM
You remind of me of Selena at her last concert in the Astrodome with your profile pic.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YDjYj5gHr2E/maxresdefault.jpg
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 30, 2015, 08:41:50 AM
Thank you so much ladies for the wonderful feedback. I saw my therapist last night and we both discussed about FFS and she advised me to wait it out and in her opinion I really don't need it.
She said it costs a lot of money and she would rather see me do BA first with FFS being the last of my priorities.

She said that hormones will definitely improve your appearance and will show the full effect between 24 to 36 month period. I will save my money for now and I'll revisit it again in a few years.

You are all beautiful. Love you guys!
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: ImagineKate on January 30, 2015, 08:52:33 AM
Yep, I concur with "wait it out" because you're like what, 6 months on hormones? It's recommended to wait at least a year or two. You look plenty passable and beautiful.

For me, once I get the facial hair lasered or zapped away plus complete a year on hormones I'm going to evaluate what I want to do. I don't really have a prominent brow ridge but my chin bothers me to some degree. However, I notice that it is accentuated by facial hair.

SRS and BA are really, really low down on my list. VFS and SRS are much higher up.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Releca on January 30, 2015, 09:39:52 AM
From what I've read in these type of threads any form of plastic surgery weather it be ffs boob job or any other type of physical modification you would do is if you want your body to loom like something its not. I've seen things from basic ffs that didn't seem to change a thing to a guy whom has had over 800 to look like a ken doll or Justin Bebber and that all depends on how you want to change yourself. In our case its mainly to make ourselfs look how we either want to be perceived or speed up the process instead of letting nature take its course.

Here and in other places I've seen people whom were male before surgery and female after then start hrt that would change their body even more and other that have let nature take its course. I agree with the major voice in this thread. You look lovely darling and your girl friends think so as well just making that point even more true. In the end its up to you on how fast you want your change to happen but if you speed it up it may be different in the end than what you planned.
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: LizMarie on January 30, 2015, 10:19:55 AM
Quote from: svaso on January 29, 2015, 08:26:44 AM
FFS is not necessary to have as far as others are concerned. Most people say I didn't need FFS, and I would agree with them. I had FFS only to improve the dysphoria I experienced when I looked in the mirror. I got by for a long long time without it.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Most of us don't need FFS. But many, if not most, of us would benefit from it, particularly in our own peace of mind and self-confidence.

I don't think April "needs" it but if it helps her feel more secure in her sense of self, go for it!
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Eveline on January 30, 2015, 10:59:57 AM
Quote from: LizMarie on January 30, 2015, 10:19:55 AM
...
I don't think April "needs" it but if it helps her feel more secure in her sense of self, go for it!

This!
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 30, 2015, 11:16:37 AM
Thanks so much ladies - you all have been kind and generous with your feedback xoxo
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 30, 2015, 12:55:36 PM
Just came back from lunch and was gendered correctly the whole time :) I do not think I need FFS LOL
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: Jade_404 on January 30, 2015, 12:59:59 PM
Quote from: carmenkate on January 30, 2015, 12:55:36 PM
Just came back from lunch and was gendered correctly the whole time :) I do not think I need FFS LOL

See  ;)

-Jade
:-*
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: antonia on January 30, 2015, 01:07:39 PM
Awesome!

Quote from: carmenkate on January 30, 2015, 12:55:36 PM
Just came back from lunch and was gendered correctly the whole time :) I do not think I need FFS LOL
Title: Re: FFS: Is it needed?
Post by: April_TO on January 30, 2015, 01:12:19 PM
Thanks Antonia and Jade xo