Court date for legal name change is next Monday. I'm going shopping with my mother this weekend for clothes to wear at court. I figure tshirt, blue jeans and sneakers are a no-no so I'm wondering...would a collared shirt, dress pants and dress shoes suffice? Or do I need something different?
The second outfit and add a tie if you can.
If I recall correctly I'm pretty sure that's what I wore. The whole court thing is pretty quick and painless so don't sweat it too much. You should dress nice but it doesn't need to be fancy or anything.
I would say yes with a tie for sure.
Need pictures please.
Whenever I've gone to court it's always been white shirt, suit and tie, name change may be a bit less formal though
(https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608026052250371600&pid=15.1&P=0)
When I had my court date I just wore a pair of khaki chinos with a casual button up and a pair of sneakers. For my name change I spent an hour waiting for my name to be called and then spent maybe a minute or two in the courtroom itself. My suggestion is just to make sure you're comfortable with what you wear and if you want to get dressed up, go for it! Best of luck to you and congrats on the court date! (that feels like an odd thing to say :laugh: )
I just dressed nicely, chinos, button down shirt, but no tie. I went by myself because the person who was going with me became ill. I don't think it matters much except in a few states (like Texas) where it isn't pretty much automatic. I don't know re: your state but mostly but I never heard of anyone turned down here (NM). I think it's more if it is important for you to dress up. It took 5' except the waiting.
--Jay
Anything which comes under smart casual should suffice (You are not a defense attorney arguing before the jury anyway...). Tie would be nice too, but if You have something against them, then having a matching set of collared shirt on top of tee would be acceptable too (just try not to leave more than two open buttons).
I wore a polo, slacks, and a pair of borrowed dress shoes. Anything more expensive or fancy would have been a waste imo. The hearing lasted 10 minutes and only involved me, my lawyer, and the judge.
If I had worn a tie, I would have been way over dressed. only people in ties were the lawyers standing around waiting for other courtrooms.
I wore black pants and a collared shirt, no jacket. Khakis would haves been more than fine. Unless you live in some weird state that is known to have issues with trans people changing their names, it will likely take 5 minutes once it is your turn, and the judge will just robotically go through the motions.
I didn't even need to schedule a court date though, you just filled out a form and signed up for the next slot that same afternoon. It seems like a much bigger deal in some places, so YMMV. I can't imagine what a lawyer would have added to the process, other than to charge me for standing there while the judge asked me 3 stock questions I answered with one word each time.
Thanks everyone. I need the stuff anyways as I don't have any formal men clothing and I'll need them for work. Oh and I'm doing the name change through TLDEF so it's not costing me a cent since I'm unemployed.
QuoteI need the stuff anyways as I don't have any formal men clothing and I'll need them for work.
In that case, you might want to get clothes that would be appropriate for job interviews -- a notch or two more formal than what you'd normally be wearing at work. Your mom oughta be in favor of that, too. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
Quote from: Tysilio on January 30, 2015, 08:54:30 AM
In that case, you might want to get clothes that would be appropriate for job interviews -- a notch or two more formal than what you'd normally be wearing at work. Your mom oughta be in favor of that, too. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
Lol I'm guessing. XD
So collared shirt, tie, dress pants and dress shoes? XD
The only item that i know the courts don't want to see is someone wearing a hat.
You'll see all kinds of people there, and all levels of dress...jeans+T-shirt to suit and tie.
I always dressed as if I were going to church, "neat and tidy, serviceable clothes without holes or stains."
Good luck with the name change!
Quote from: DragonBeer on January 30, 2015, 10:07:32 AM
Lol I'm guessing. XD
So collared shirt, tie, dress pants and dress shoes? XD
yup! good luck :)
I agree re: ties. I'm pretty much overdressed any time I wear a tie. :) Ties are "high powered dress" like bankers and so on.
I also agree that this that the judge went thru the robotic motions. I heard some judges are very nice like wishing the person luck and so on. Mine was not, misgendered me and so on. But they won't deny it unless you live in some state where things are generally like that. There has to be some legal reason to deny it.
I was in a court room, but was all by myself. It was a little odd actually. I think the big bucks were for the court room.
--Jay
Quote from: spacerace on January 30, 2015, 08:01:19 AM
If I had worn a tie, I would have been way over dressed. only people in ties were the lawyers standing around waiting for other courtrooms.
I wore black pants and a collared shirt, no jacket. Khakis would haves been more than fine. Unless you live in some weird state that is known to have issues with trans people changing their names, it will likely take 5 minutes once it is your turn, and the judge will just robotically go through the motions.
I didn't even need to schedule a court date though, you just filled out a form and signed up for the next slot that same afternoon. It seems like a much bigger deal in some places, so YMMV. I can't imagine what a lawyer would have added to the process, other than to charge me for standing there while the judge asked me 3 stock questions I answered with one word each time.
Quote from: JayTies are "high powered dress" like bankers and so on.
It sorta depends where you are. Things are a lot more formal in the Bos-Wash states; I lived in MA for a long time and I would definitely have worn a tie for a court date. I think the Midwest, where I live now, is probably somewhere in between that and NM -- around here ties are pretty common wear for good restaurants, the Symphony, and such. A tie, and possibly a jacket, would be essential if one were interviewing for an actual salaried job.
I'm in NYC so I expect I need to be properly dressed. XD
Yeah I definitely agree. Things are so button down here, that I can almost not think of any place to wear a suit. I have worn ties because I like to. But I feel overdressed when I do. NM is very casual. The OP is in NYC. So I would guess much more formal.
--Jay
Quote from: Tysilio on January 30, 2015, 12:15:40 PM
It sorta depends where you are. Things are a lot more formal in the Bos-Wash states; I lived in MA for a long time and I would definitely have worn a tie for a court date. I think the Midwest, where I live now, is probably somewhere in between that and NM -- around here ties are pretty common wear for good restaurants, the Symphony, and such. A tie, and possibly a jacket, would be essential if one were interviewing for an actual salaried job.
I wore a black long sleeve button up shirt, khakis and black dress shoes. Tie is not needed but if you want to, go for it. Good luck.
I don't know how pro you are at fashion, but the main thing is that the judge believes you are trying to be respectful. For my name change I wore the cleanest and most expensive clothes I owned. I had to go back later for a legal sex change and I was stressed out (it was boxing day) so I wore khakis and a button up shirt and mostly focused on keeping my kid quiet. I was honestly pretty disheveled and kinda ghetto-looking and it still went fine.
Your judge and jurisdiction are probably super relevant in deciding how to dress.
I agree with Felix, above... as long as you look and act like you are being respectful to the court, you will be fine. I will also add that you might want to wear whatever you feel is properly respectful of yourself and your masculinity. If you feel most confident and truly yourself in a shirt and tie, then do it. If you are a khakis and polo guy, then do that. You will certainly show up clean and neat, which should be enough.
Oh and congrats! :)
--Jay
Yeah, I agree with what the others have said. Congrats!!!
Thanks everyone. This is what I wore.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FSp5Nkpu.jpg&hash=09b14121c37e170a913ee928e4b55336fba487d7)
You look sharp. How'd it go??? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
Quote from: Tysilio on February 02, 2015, 03:53:01 PM
You look sharp. How'd it go??? (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthefiringline.com%2Fforums%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsmile.gif&hash=2c5a4907e2673dfa63557696254abe82f5c9641e)
This is going to be a long and detailed post so brace yourselves.Take a seat and drink some Dunkin' Donuts coffee.
Name change has officially happened but I have to tell you, it was a super long process and I was 30 minutes away from clawing my eyes out. I had to be over at the Civil Court of New York City at 11:00 AM so I woke up at 7:00 AM sharp to have time to make some quick breakfast, iron the clothes I was going to wear and take my dog out for a walk. There was an snowstorm warning and I thought it would be affecting how trains were running so I left home at 9:15 AM to catch the E and then transfer to the 6.
I got to the courthouse in about an hour, it was strange walking around Lower Manhattan. I quickly found the place, got my stuff scanned for security and sat myself in front of the courtroom waiting for my lawyer. He came over 40 minutes later (I came a bit too early, lol) and we entered the room. I felt so out of place after looking at how the guys were dressed! Almost all of them were wearing a suit, tie, dress shirt, pants and leather shoes. I quickly found myself looking at the judge: one look at him told me everything I needed to know. He seemed very conservative and I had a feeling that he wasn't going to waive publication. This was confirmed when a transwoman, who happened to be there, was trying to convince him to waive publication for safety reasons. He still denied her request and the ironic thing about it all was two guys sitting right behind me talking about the signs she had that gave her away as being transgender and they were referring to her as "he-she" the whole time while snickering. You don't know how badly I wanted to bash their skulls in.
After what seemed like an eternity (2 hours and 15 minutes), I finally got called up. Turns out he called me with my lesser known surname (didn't know I had 2 last names until I found my birth certificate) so I did a double take when the lawyer said it was my turn. I was never referred to as Perales in my life. Anyways, he asked me about my immigration status, whether I brought my social security card and what newspaper I would be publishing the name change. Knowing what happened with the transwoman that went right before I did, I had no hope in convincing him to waive that requirement as I seem to be passing more than ever thanks to my voice. I didn't feel like fighting either so I just agreed on the condition that my address isn't published. The records wear sealed and I had to go downstairs to unseal them on the computer so they can print out some forms. It was quickly done and now I have to play the waiting game for 1-2 weeks for the affidavit and the certified copies of the court order.
I got to the courthouse in about an hour, it was strange walking around Lower Manhattan. I quickly found the place, got my stuff scanned for security and sat myself in front of the courtroom waiting for my lawyer. He came over 40 minutes later (I came a bit too early, lol) and we entered the room. I felt so out of place after looking at how the guys were dressed! Almost all of them were wearing a suit, tie, dress shirt, pants and leather shoes. I quickly found myself looking at the judge: one look at him told me everything I needed to know. He seemed very conservative and I had a feeling that he wasn't going to waive publication. This was confirmed when a transwoman, who happened to be there, was trying to convince him to waive publication for safety reasons. He still denied her request and the ironic thing about it all was two guys sitting right behind me talking about the signs she had that gave her away as being transgender and they were referring to her as "he-she" the whole time while snickering. You don't know how badly I wanted to bash their skulls in.
After what seemed like an eternity (2 hours and 15 minutes), I finally got called up. Turns out he called me with my lesser known surname (didn't know I had 2 last names until I found my birth certificate) so I did a double take when the lawyer said it was my turn. I was never referred to as Perales in my life. Anyways, he asked me about my immigration status, whether I brought my social security card and what newspaper I would be publishing the name change. Knowing what happened with the transwoman that went right before I did, I had no hope in convincing him to waive that requirement as I seem to be passing more than ever thanks to my voice. I didn't feel like fighting either so I just agreed on the condition that my address isn't published. The records were sealed and I had to go downstairs to unseal them on the computer so they can print out some forms. It was quickly done and now I have to play the waiting game for 1-2 weeks.
Congratulations on getting through it, and on your new name! It must feel great to have accomplished that. It must also have been odd to find out that you had another last name. Are you keeping either of them, or changing your whole name?
It's good to know that it went pretty smoothly, even with a "conservative" judge.
I had an apparently "conservative judge". I was not gendered correctly or anything. However, I don't believe the point is to find some reason not to do it. If there is no reason not to do it, they will do a name change. It's a routine thing.
Allowing a waiver of the publication is quite another thing, but kind of for the same reason. Everything like this is routine. So they would not tend to do this. (It's rather a silly requirement, given any creditor can find you regardless. And obviously if you change your name legally the law will find you.)
(You look like you dressed nicely enough. It wouldn't be expected that you would be as nicely dressed as lawyers, etc. You might have been "underdressed anyway" without wingtips and so on. :) )
--Jay
I wore jeans and a plain, casual button-up shirt. Nobody seemed to care.
You look sharp in that photo. Sounds like your court date was a little harrowing. Congrats on managing well.
My most recent judge seemed conservative at first but she was super chill with both women who appeared to be trans, waving away explanations and granting name changes with no hostility. When I was called, she asked me to come close so we could speak just between us and the court reporter, and all she did was confirm that I understood what I was requesting. She did ask why I only wanted one copy of the court order, and when I told her that only Texas cares about my legal sex, she actually congratulated me on getting out and wished me good luck in dealing with them in the future.
When I first went to court for my name change, I had a different judge and the whole thing went more like an assembly line. Everyone else was called alphabetically. My name was from near the beginning of the alphabet but I was called after the room was clear. I was asked if I was sure, and then the order was given. The judge smirked a little and told me to "enjoy [my] new name," but the derision was mild.
I agree it can be intimidating. My judge was probably not at all on board with the whole "sex change" thing. But *legally* he was required. I have heard of people being congratulated and all. But I didn't need his approval, I just needed his legal approval. The dress is very high powered and the point is to be a little intimating. I have never heard of anybody except in certain states who had problems. Even then, most name changes are approved.
The one thing people need to be careful of is paper work. Do it correctly. It's the one thing that sometimes a judge can look to, if he or she wants a reason.
--Jay
Quote from: Felix on February 24, 2015, 01:28:14 AM
You look sharp in that photo. Sounds like your court date was a little harrowing. Congrats on managing well.
My most recent judge seemed conservative at first but she was super chill with both women who appeared to be trans, waving away explanations and granting name changes with no hostility. When I was called, she asked me to come close so we could speak just between us and the court reporter, and all she did was confirm that I understood what I was requesting. She did ask why I only wanted one copy of the court order, and when I told her that only Texas cares about my legal sex, she actually congratulated me on getting out and wished me good luck in dealing with them in the future.
When I first went to court for my name change, I had a different judge and the whole thing went more like an assembly line. Everyone else was called alphabetically. My name was from near the beginning of the alphabet but I was called after the room was clear. I was asked if I was sure, and then the order was given. The judge smirked a little and told me to "enjoy [my] new name," but the derision was mild.