Dear all, first, a general thank you. I have been reading this forum for over a decade from deep inside the proverbial closet, yet this is the first time I have ever actually created an account and actually posted something.
Anyway, to the point: I had GRS with Dr. Kathy Rumer in late July of 2014, so I just hit six months post-op. Here is a link to pictures on Dropbox. with a progression of healing from the end of July through six months now in January.
I am trying to figure out what to do. I am curious what others more knowledgeable think, but I know this needs considerable revisions. I have had obvious tissue necrosis, terrible labial development on both sides, am markedly asymmetric, and the vaginal entrance is abnormally far from everything else. This doesn't even look like a vagina, let alone one that was made to look relatively textbook. Connected to the anatomic and aesthetic issues, I have large areas of scarring or granulation across my clitoral, urethral, and vaginal entrance areas that causes persistent pain - even six months later. This makes dilation, intercourse, and even arousal uncomfortable, but any stretching of the area just from sitting/standing motions and/or even walking can be noticeable and painful.
Lastly, I do not find my clitoris to be especially sensitive. I do not think I have achieved an orgasm over the past six months, though I have come close a few times.
THIS IS MY BODY, and I NEED TO LIVE WITH IT. I need to be able to live with it. Right now, this has caused me considerable dysmorphia not to mention the chronic pain. While I have attempted to reach out to other surgeons for external opinions, doing so has been reinventing the wheel. Either way, most of the surgeons with strong revision experience have months-long waiting lists, so it looks like I could be in pain from this for a while. I am prepared to drop everything and jump on a plane tomorrow to get this done right.
Here's what I need help with:
1. Please at least let me know I'm not crazy, and that this in fact doesn't look the way it should.
2. What do I do about it? Not just, "Fix it," but what does it actually need done, as specifically as possible? Can it even be fixed? I am so scared the answer is no, and I will be permanently a freak. This is extremely depressing and terrifying.
3. Did you go to Dr. Kathy Rumer, please tell me about your experiences - good or bad - and if you are willing, I am trying to get a better idea of what her results do look like, since this looks nothing like what she showed in her consultation.
4. Did you have necrosis or need other revisions, with whomever you originally went with, and who did you go to get the revisions?
Thanks so much for anyone who can offer a shred of hope or constructive suggestions!
Please feel free to PM me if you'd rather not post to the thread itself, I totally understand.
Mod Edit- graphic link removed due to TOS 4
My goodness, no, that does not look normal. I'm so sorry. In any case, regardless of aesthetics, you're in pain - that's inarguable and not acceptable.
(I went with Brassard; no necrosis, no revisions, so no advice on that front besides the fact that I've seen surgeons' web sites bragging about fixing other surgeons' mistakes - they don't seem to mind!)
I am not a doctor, but the pain may be partly caused by the scar tissue, which would likely be an easier fix than the cosmetic problems. It may well be possible to find a non-GRS surgeon who can handle that much? And then look into another GRS surgeon to correct the aesthetics. If you're going to have to pay out of pocket completely for revisions, you may as well choose a different surgeon, since it sounds like you've lost confidence in this one regardless.
I would also suggest getting a lawyer...sometimes people (especially doctors) listen better when they see something that indicates serious trouble headed their way.
...
imho
Just want to add a simple warning before this topic goes south.
We are talking about Major surgery here.
Real cut and re-arranging major tissues and parts.
It holds huge risks that are individual body specific in healing and how aftercare is applies.
I know most all the surgeons wait at least a year before revisions due to healing concerns.
No use adding more open areas to already troubled healing areas.
So again it does happen to all the surgeons out there both GCS and other surgeries.
Watch your chances of maybe lieable .
I went to Dr. Rumer. I am very happy with my result, though I haven't been able to orgasm either. I've gotten close, too. That's an indication that the sensation is there. It doesn't look like yours.
My experiences with Dr. Rumer can be found here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,164493.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,164493.0.html)
A description of my aesthetics can be found here: https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,171501.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,171501.0.html)
I was lucky enough not to have any necroses or complications.
As for whether it looks the way it should, ABSOLUTELY NOT. You are NOT crazy. Mine looks nothing like that. I have communicated with a number of Rumer girls, who didn't have results like that. I agree with your assessment that revisions are in order.
Have you been in communication with Dr. Rumer? I believe her policy is that she will do revisions for free as long as they can be done in her office. If you need an O.R., you're on the hook for hospital and anesthesia but she waves her surgical fees.
I would contact her office and send her the pictures ASAP, to see what she says.
I will try to PM you with contact info. Please stay in touch and at least keep posting here.
Quote from: somethingelsie on February 02, 2015, 05:43:15 PM
Dear all, first, a general thank you. I have been reading this forum for over a decade from deep inside the proverbial closet, yet this is the first time I have ever actually created an account and actually posted something.
Anyway, to the point: I had GRS with Dr. Kathy Rumer in late July of 2014, so I just hit six months post-op. Here is a link to pictures on Dropbox. with a progression of healing from the end of July through six months now in January.
I am trying to figure out what to do. I am curious what others more knowledgeable think, but I know this needs considerable revisions. I have had obvious tissue necrosis, terrible labial development on both sides, am markedly asymmetric, and the vaginal entrance is abnormally far from everything else. This doesn't even look like a vagina, let alone one that was made to look relatively textbook. Connected to the anatomic and aesthetic issues, I have large areas of scarring or granulation across my clitoral, urethral, and vaginal entrance areas that causes persistent pain - even six months later. This makes dilation, intercourse, and even arousal uncomfortable, but any stretching of the area just from sitting/standing motions and/or even walking can be noticeable and painful.
Lastly, I do not find my clitoris to be especially sensitive. I do not think I have achieved an orgasm over the past six months, though I have come close a few times.
THIS IS MY BODY, and I NEED TO LIVE WITH IT. I need to be able to live with it. Right now, this has caused me considerable dysmorphia not to mention the chronic pain. While I have attempted to reach out to other surgeons for external opinions, doing so has been reinventing the wheel. Either way, most of the surgeons with strong revision experience have months-long waiting lists, so it looks like I could be in pain from this for a while. I am prepared to drop everything and jump on a plane tomorrow to get this done right.
Here's what I need help with:
1. Please at least let me know I'm not crazy, and that this in fact doesn't look the way it should.
2. What do I do about it? Not just, "Fix it," but what does it actually need done, as specifically as possible? Can it even be fixed? I am so scared the answer is no, and I will be permanently a freak. This is extremely depressing and terrifying.
3. Did you go to Dr. Kathy Rumer, please tell me about your experiences - good or bad - and if you are willing, I am trying to get a better idea of what her results do look like, since this looks nothing like what she showed in her consultation.
4. Did you have necrosis or need other revisions, with whomever you originally went with, and who did you go to get the revisions?
Thanks so much for anyone who can offer a shred of hope or constructive suggestions!
Please feel free to PM me if you'd rather not post to the thread itself, I totally understand.
Hello my name is Dee. I am also a transgender individual who used Dr. Rumer. I would like to get in contact with you to discuss our experiences. If you would like to email me at deeweitzer@gmail.com. I would love to chat with you.
I would get a lawyer and sue,that wasn't surgery but butchery.
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I'm a Rumer girl who had her surgery in December 2012. I also suffered from necrosis and asymmetrical labia. I went to Dr. Rumer multiple times and she was always very caring and thoughtful on each visit. Slowly, over time, the asymmetry resolved itself and while my result doesn't quite look textbook great, it does look pretty damn good and has managed to convince all but the most careful observer that I was born female. It is a bit longer than I would've liked, but that's basically the result of how my bodyparts started out. I think, and I may be wrong, but the longer you were to begin with, the longer the vagina is going to look.
Apparently, Dr. Rumer thought that my result was so good that she uses it as one of her example pictures that you'll probably see in her office.
Now, during the time I had the necrosis and my vagina looked like a bloody mess, I was real sad, depressed, messed up, etc., and it seemed counterintuitive to me that she kept saying everything looked great when I didn't think it did, but now several years later I look back at that point in time and realize that I'm not a surgeon. Surgeons can see things non-surgeons can't see.
In Chinese, we have a term called "geep" that describes someone who doesn't have patience to see the end result of something. In this day and age of fast-fast-fast-have something done yesterday, we just aren't programmed to learn how to wait anymore. Before you think about lawyers and such, I'd say wait it out and see if the issue resolves itself. What you think might be bad might not be. The body is an incredible thing. It heals itself and you have the power to make yourself heal better by taking care of it.
I think back to all the possible surgeons I could've had instead of Dr. Rumer. Many of them aren't the nicest people when it comes to bedside manner. You got one of the best in Dr. Rumer. If I had to do it all over again, I'd choose her in a heartbeat.
(For those of you who have are old-school, let's just say she's Kalina Isato-endorsed ;)
Please contact me at deeweitzer@gmail.com. I want to tell you something that you may be interested in. I am also transgender and I used Dr. Kathy Rumer. Please email me
Sorry to hear you had such a bad result. When did you have your surgery?
Mine was in Nov. 2016 and I am very happy with Dr. Rumer's results. I had none of the problems you describe and I would recommend her to anyone.
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I had my GRS last month with Dr. Rumer and so far so good. Aesthetically things are healing nicely and coming together. I like the appearance and know the swelling will go down, scars will fade and things will settle. I'm being patient.
Reading this thread gives me pause, but I have no reason to hit the panic button.
Dr. Rumer was good to me. I have minor gripes about 3 things, but they were very minor.
1.) the morphine I was on in the hospital didnt take the edge off. I needed dilaudid and upon asking I did get it twice before heading to the recovery facility and it did help to take that edge off.
2.) She didnt pay me a visit after my surgery while I was recovering in the hospital. I got visits from her physicians assistant Jamie. Blah...I didnt pay $11,500 to have some physicians assistant come see me. Was very annoyed with this...BUT Dr. Rumer made up for it on the Friday I went to the recovery facility. She spent a half hour talking with me about the surgery, aesthetics, function, and just life in general, I cried happy tears on her shoulder, and hugged her and thanked her.
3.). my room at the recovery facility was a tad on the chilly side.
Those are the only complaints I have and as I said pretty minor stuff. Certainly nothing to get angry about or throw a tissy fit over.
Her staff was tremendously helpful, courteous, very responsive to questions, concerns and a few minor incidents concerning bowel movements and post-surgery bleeding. I was constantly reassured things were fine and they'd come up and check things out just to be sure.
They were very knowledgeable and informative. They briefed me on GRS and breast augmentation post-op care, dilating, douching, to do's and not to do's and I've been following it all religiously to the tooth. I even re-read my post-op instructions once or twice a week just to make sure I'm doing everything I am supposed to be and that I'm not forgetting anything.
I do my dilations like clock work. I have 4 alarms set, 1 for each dilation at 4 hour intervals. I dont miss them for anything.
Since I've been home, I've had questions and concerns and her staff answers pretty promptly when I email.
Based on everything I've been through so far, I'd give her a 90/100.
Point Deductions
5 points off for the morphine
3 points off for not coming to see me after my surgery
2 points off for a cold room (LOL)
At this point, I'd go do it all over again with her.
I dont know the final aesthetic results and wont for some time till all heals and settles.
I dont know how my sensation will be or if I'll have the ability to orgasm or not.
So I cant comment on those things yet.
But she did tell me to wait till Week 7-8 before I begin to explore on my own. So I'm leaving things be till then.
I cant see the OP's results as the link was removed, but if you dont mind pm'ing them to me, I'd like to take a look if that's ok.
Hi audreytn, me again.
I agree, I would do it again with Dr. Rumer.
She was there to see me at the hospital shortly after I woke up in my room, but from then on it was Jamie.
From what I've read from others that went before me I think she has expanded her staff and turned most of the recovery process over to them. Which was fine with me. They are all friendly, they know what they are doing and always, and still do, get back to me almost immediately when I have questions or concerns.
Yes, that room is a bit cold! I brought with me a BIG, soft, fluffy pink robe. So glad I had that!
Hang in there with the dilations! When you get to two a day it's not bad at all, and as I've been told many times. It is the most important thing you can do to help make your recovery a success.
Im looking to go to rumor soon this year I'm a little apprehensive about her since I've heard so much about her after care and some revisions I kno a few girls went to her in the past so I'm assuming her technique and after care has improved hopefully speaking I'm so nervous about her work but I'm not trying to get discouraged plus she's the only one in pa who does srs if anyone of you lady's can help me out with any advice I would gratefully appreciate It I've reached out to so many girls,that wasn't trying to help another in this type of situation I feel this is,a life time and one-time process and it can be a scary thing not knowing who is right for you again I would appreciate if anyone can reach out to me my email is Nashaelove1101@gmail.com Thank you in advance
Quote from: Iesha1028 on April 25, 2017, 03:10:13 AM
Im looking to go to rumor soon this year I'm a little apprehensive about her since I've heard so much about her after care and some revisions I kno a few girls went to her in the past so I'm assuming her technique and after care has improved hopefully speaking I'm so nervous about her work but I'm not trying to get discouraged plus she's the only one in pa who does srs if anyone of you lady's can help me out with any advice I would gratefully appreciate It I've reached out to so many girls,that wasn't trying to help another in this type of situation I feel this is,a life time and one-time process and it can be a scary thing not knowing who is right for you again I would appreciate if anyone can reach out to me my email is Nashaelove1101@gmail.com Thank you in advance
I don't think anyone can pick a surgeon for you, there is some degree of risk with all of them. I picked Dr. Rumer because she was in the USA, she had done hundreds of SRS surgeries, she had many more positive reviews than negative, her availability fit my time frame, I liked the pictures of her work and I liked her during the consultation.
Even with all of that and more I still was not 100% sure, but I had done my research and was as confident as I could be. That's about all you can do.
Quote from: Iesha1028 on April 25, 2017, 03:10:13 AM
Im looking to go to rumor soon this year I'm a little apprehensive about her since I've heard so much about her after care and some revisions I kno a few girls went to her in the past so I'm assuming her technique and after care has improved hopefully speaking I'm so nervous about her work but I'm not trying to get discouraged plus she's the only one in pa who does srs if anyone of you lady's can help me out with any advice I would gratefully appreciate It I've reached out to so many girls,that wasn't trying to help another in this type of situation I feel this is,a life time and one-time process and it can be a scary thing not knowing who is right for you again I would appreciate if anyone can reach out to me my email is Nashaelove1101@gmail.com Thank you in advance
Each patient and their body are different. They will respond differently.
Dr. Rumer was wonderful.
Feel free to read about my experience here with her here.
A few small things but nothing major that I couldnt handle. As Charley said above me, she has more positive than negative.
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=220250
I appreciate both you lady's responses but I wasn't looking for anyone to find me a surgeon I was looking for soneone to help me out with there experiences bein as tho I was a Bit nervous and apprehensive about seeing due to all the bad reviews I've seen the only reviews I've seen were in here I didn't see any before or after photos so understand why I would be nervous but I'm continuing my research cause everybody body is different and she's the only one in Philadelphia and pa who takes insurances
We have a site policy on nudity, TOS 4 so you will not find images posted on the site. Images may be passed through PM or if you are agreeable, by email so they aren't visible to others. This policy also include links nudity. Rumer is one of the better known surgeons and I suspect that she would be able to provide access to images if you request them.
Quote from: Iesha1028 on May 03, 2017, 03:53:49 PM
I appreciate both you lady's responses but I wasn't looking for anyone to find me a surgeon I was looking for soneone to help me out with there experiences bein as tho I was a Bit nervous and apprehensive about seeing due to all the bad reviews I've seen the only reviews I've seen were in here I didn't see any before or after photos so understand why I would be nervous but I'm continuing my research cause everybody body is different and she's the only one in Philadelphia and pa who takes insurances
I know you werent but reading about a patients experience can help you make a decision.
If you want to see photos of her work, schedule an in person consult at her office and she will show them to you. She doesnt publish her post-op results online but will show them at a consult.