I feel like I am female, and hopefully could pass as female with hormones. However, after looking at some feminist websites and having heard men be sexist, I am worried about experiencing sexism.
So do you think it much of an issue these days? I don't want people to assume I am less capable or not as smart because I am a woman. People say women are less likely to get a job and are payed less than men.
Becoming a trans woman will probably be even worse than being a cis women in society as well, which doesn't help.
Thanks, Maisie
I've experience discrimination all my life because of my personality of not being one of the guys , so I get discriminated either way I go.
Even the most liberal cultures are going to have men who think they are above women. I don't think that it is as big an issue as it used to be. Woman are CPOs in companies, senators, judges etc. People stuck in an era where women were thought to be inferior aren't worth wasting your time with.
Some guys are jerks, but most adult men, at least around here, treat women equally. If they don't woman tend to remind them. You can give away your pride and self esteem, but no one can take it from you.
sam1234
It is one of my worries that I talked to my therapist about. After talking about it for some time I came to the realization that I have been treated like one of the girls in many of my work environments and social situations as well. Or at least not treated as one of the alpha males. So I guess I am used to it, altho I always jump in and defend ANY woman that is being treated badly or is being harassed. Momma taught me well >:-)
Also my therapists (a female) said that women these days are much better off than in the past and they are all VERY strong willed and stick together on such issues, so she felt I should not be concerned.
-Jade
:-*
There's all sorts of negatives to being a women, but it could be worse, you could be a man.
I guess I have a bit (lot) of a negative personality, but there's all sorts of positive aspects to it of course.
At the end of the day though it doesn't matter whats good and bad, only what has to be. I found there's no choice in it.
Hmm.
There is sexism but in many societies women are overcoming it.
That said, is that really going to block your transition?
Being a man has its disadvantages too you know.
QuoteBecoming a trans woman will probably be even worse than being a cis women in society as well, which doesn't help.
Correct. Some don't regard us as "real" women and some think that we are hanging on to male privilege. All I can say is what is in my sig. Don't let the haters win.
Just be yourself as well as you can. There are going to be terrible people in your life no matter what you do. Letting them control your life only makes things worse.
It really doesn't matter what they say or how they treat you. What really matters is how you treat yourself and feel about yourself....!I personally would never let sexism stop me from transitioning...!
Quote from: ImagineKate on February 11, 2015, 02:18:07 PM
Correct. Some don't regard us as "real" women and some think that we are hanging on to male privilege. All I can say is what is in my sig. Don't let the haters win.
I don't think it's that arcane. Our society is built on the assumption that you have to procreate to truly be successful. "Why would someone want to flout their filial responsibility and live as an impotent/barren person?" And, "Who would want to sacrifice their ability to start a family to be their partner?" It's a huge trigger for scorn, and men and women are shamed if/when they can't have children.
They are jerks IMO (the scorners, not the scorned). Why would I want to base my life on appeasing jerks? Don't even get me started on those who believe anyone who isn't heterosexual is hell bound. It was hell when I tried fitting in as a man.
Hugs,
- Katie
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There is always going to be some sexism but try not to fear it. What I use is that phrase, "Kill'em with kindness" all the time and it has worked great. I always try to be as kind and helpful as possible to everyone I come across. It's amazing what I can wear and no one even cares. For example, when going to work, I now exclusively wear short mini skirts, pretty sexy tops, heeled boots, and makeup. Going slowly and gradually bringing things into your wardrobe / mannerisms while being super nice goes a long way.
I've experienced some sexism.
I also experienced sexism as a male (Suspicion, rigid gender expectations, etc.). It was different but just as unpleasant.
So all in all, as far as sexism, transition has been a wash.
More than balanced out by the Sheer Amazing Wonderfulness of being able to live as a woman.
Sexism is alive and well. It may not be as overt as it was 40 years ago, but it is still there.
In life as a woman, get used to being paid less, having a harder time getting a job, being ignored (even though you may be more competent than your male coworkers), and getting passed up for promotions. We wont even talk about unwanted advances and sexual innuendo!
I can't comment on the effects of being seen as trans - that wasn't a problem I had to face in the workplace.
Yeah, sexism is out there and happens, not only by men, there are many many women out there who will treat men better than they treat other women. You just gotta handle it and yourself best you can. I don't like sexism. But it's there and all you can do is make sure when people do give you a chance you make yourself noticed by your worth instead of making a dumb ditzy comment to seem cute (unless that truly is you which is ok too) but if it's not you, and you do that type of thing just to fit in, you might as well shoot yourself in the head (particularly at a work environment) .
Male privilege is a very real thing. If you decide to transition and pass full time you will be impacted by it. How much will be affected by many things, profession, region, urban vs rural, etc.
Being judged and possibly dismissed or elevated by external appearance happens to a lot of people for different reasons, race, physical abilities, weight, age and so on. If you have experienced one or more of these other situations you may have an idea of what that is like and this will just be one more layer. If you have only experienced white, male, able bodied, privilege you may be in for a serious reality check. On the other hand learning empathy/compassion has its own rewards, it doesn't have to be all negative. You could discover a whole new world that fits you even better.
As a male AFAB I have paid dearly financially, professionally, and in terms of credibility in many cases. You are just not taken as seriously. Would I now trade in my understanding of how things really work and the ability to see how others are impacted? No, but hindsight is a powerful tool.
Misogyny or even transmisogyny were the least of my worries. At least I get to truly live as me now and I have addressed my dysphoria.
Haters? Screw 'em. They don't get to have a say in the way I live my life. They weren't going to be my friends anyway.
It's kind of a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation.
The way I finally came to grips with it was simple - someone's always gonna hate you, no matter what you do or who you are, simply because you're different from them. As the kids say these days, "haters gonna hate". Just strut your stuff and do what you do, 'cause the only person whose opinion matters is your own - and if you're happy with you, what does it matter if anyone else is?
Now, I'm aware that might sound a little arrogant...but it's worked for me for years.
Quote from: Obfuskatie on February 11, 2015, 07:27:35 PM
I don't think it's that arcane. Our society is built on the assumption that you have to procreate to truly be successful. "Why would someone want to flout their filial responsibility and live as an impotent/barren person?" And, "Who would want to sacrifice their ability to start a family to be their partner?" It's a huge trigger for scorn, and men and women are shamed if/when they can't have children.
They are jerks IMO (the scorners, not the scorned). Why would I want to base my life on appeasing jerks? Don't even get me started on those who believe anyone who isn't heterosexual is hell bound. It was hell when I tried fitting in as a man.
Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from Katie's iPad using Tapatalk
That's kind of true. When I became a parent suddenly everyone who ignored me was gushing with admiration. I gained respect because we popped out a few kids? How about people respecting me for getting the courage to live authentically! Yeah not happening.
Quote from: ImagineKate on February 13, 2015, 12:55:47 AM
That's kind of true. When I became a parent suddenly everyone who ignored me was gushing with admiration. I gained respect because we popped out a few kids? How about people respecting me for getting the courage to live authentically! Yeah not happening.
My dad and step-moms first question when I visited them, before coming out was always about my love-life because they want grandkids. My grandma is the same. Even though my brother is three years older and out of school working... Sigh.
Now I don't think they really know what to ask, apart from how my master's thesis is going. Answer: ->-bleeped-<-ty. Transitioning during grad school makes a difficult task seem Herculean. They don't particularly like my answer...
Hugs,
- Katie
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